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@johnroderick Re: your artist friend: Does he paint depictions of lizards, or apply paint to actual lizards? If the latter, I'm interested. |
My brother/boss/landlord is coming over to my place for a meeting. Thank God I'm not married to Lucille Ball. |
There was a "These come from trees" sticker on the dispenser, so I made a paper-towel sculpture expressing my shame at my wastefulness. |
Wanna see if someone's made the same Guy Kawasaki joke you were thinking of making? A simple search will help! http://xrl.us/Guygarry |
Inexplicably, we just heard the original Prince AND the Cyndi Lauper versions of "When You Were Mine" in the office. I fear for @ryanchris. |
Me, I'm still my usual self: magazine-ish and hiply indifferent. Hence the Twittering during this nice man's set. |
This is the most bookish, polite crowd I've ever seen at Slim's. |
Aw, man. You guys weren't supposed to see that last one. That was a raw template from Memarrhea, my formerly secret joke tweet generator. |
[setup] auto industry bailout [punchline]. #[gag label] |
@joshjackson I recently discovered St. Bernardus and I don't mean to be over-dramatic but it is the best thing ever, anywhere. Seriously. |
I got this cool thing from the iTunes App Store: repetitive strain injury. Only $5.99! |
Bad use of your time #437: Creating Yelp entries for restaurants that closed before Yelp existed. |
@apelad Overrated. No multi-lick. |
"I did have a weird experience with some ballerinos one time, actually." - @ztaylor |
The @plinky office doors are very slammy, which makes anything said right before closing one sound passive-aggressive: "I agree! *SLAM*" |
How is the woman in the billing dept. at my doctor's office making me feel really bad for wacky shit in their system? Man, she is GOOD! |
Have you ever resisted saying something out loud because you wanted to Twitter it instead?Neither have I. I was just asking. #garthalgar |
Sometimes I like working on legal pads because they don't have any way to see what other people have written on their legal pads. |
Plug alert! My friend @kineticturtle is selling vintage refurbished rotary phones. Hot: http://smallbell.etsy.com |
Whenever I visit twitter.com, I like to imagine the call to action as screamed by someone who's angry with me: "What are you DOING?!?!?!" |
