Supporting the Unique Needs of a Military-Connected Child
The process of constant change can very difficult on a family, but particularly a child. It is vital that children are provided with the support and encouragement they need to successfully navigate through these changes.
This section will help Military Families address the following topics:
While most military-connected children are able to adjust well, dealing with parent deployment, changing schools, changing homes, and even a parent’s return from deployment can cause stress in children. Children and youth are also keenly aware of their parents’ feelings and can react to them. When military-connected children’s worries and concerns are not addressed, parents may notice a change in their child’s behavior. The American Academy of Psychology, in its 2004 report on military families, described behavioral changes for children at various ages. The following is an excerpt from the report:
Infants (Birth–12 months) may respond to disruptions in their schedule, physical environment or availability of caregivers with decreased appetite, weight loss, irritability, and/or apathy.
Toddlers (1–3 yrs.) may become sullen, tearful, throw temper tantrums, or develop sleep problems.
Preschoolers (3–6 yrs.) are more aware of the absence of a parent than younger children, and their behavior may regress in areas such as toilet training, sleep, separation fears, physical complaints, or thumb sucking. They may personalize situations and express a fear that, ’
School age children (6–12 yrs.) are more aware of the realities behind their parent leaving and the potential dangers. They may show irritable behavior, aggression, or whininess. They also may become more regressed and fearful that their parent may be injured or die.
Teenagers (13–18 yrs.) may be rebellious, irritable, or more challenging of authority. Parents need to be alert to high-risk behaviors such as problems with the law, sexual acting
Parents and guardians can take important steps to help children express their feelings and gain control of their changing situation. Some ideas are as follows:
Involve children in the process – Provide open and transparent information to children about the move, when a parent will be deployed, or other expected change. For example, parents can help children feel more control over the move by involving them in the planning and research of the new location. For younger children, this can take the form of pictures on a calendar to mark when the moving van will come.
Watch for changes and talk about it – Parents know their children well and should take notice of mood or behavior changes like in eating or sleeping. The key is to provide children with opportunities to talk about their feelings and help them learn to cope. Maintaining good communication with a child’s teachers, coaches, and other adults in their lives will also provide insights into their needs and ways to address them.
Self care – It is important for parents to recognize their own signs of anxiety, stress, and depression so they can be more emotionally available for their children. Whether a parent is the one being deployed or staying behind, managing one’s own stress and attending to general health and well-being are essential to care of others. Adults must recognize the need for time alone, to talk to friends, or seek additional professional help, if needed.
Take advantage of existing supports – The Department of Defense has created multiple Web sites and publications to provide information about every aspect of moving and relocating children and supporting a military family’s needs. Consult the school liaison officer at the new location and call supervisors to get the resources needed for emotional or practical support. (Read more about the supports families can receive from the military in the Military Supports for Students section by clicking here.)
Keep to an existing schedule – Children of all ages thrive on routine. This is especially important in times of change, when any level of predictability comforts families. Parents should try to keep bedtime, mealtime, and other routines. They should also make sure to continue to attend events such as soccer games or school plays, as always. These steps help children to know that the location may change, but the family itself and the relationships they cherish the most will remain constant.
Remember to say “Goodbye” – Teaching children how to separate is a critical life skill. Those that learn to do this well understand how to keep the positive memories of one relationship and can embrace new ones.
Over the course of a military child’s academic experience, on average, he or she may change schools six to nine times. These changes help children become very adaptive to new environments and making new friends. All children require ongoing support from parents and guardians to ensure that each academic transition is well managed and supports achievement. But the children of military families may need even more involvement by their parents because they face changes more frequently than nonmilitary children.
When preparing for a move for example, parents and guardians must attend to a few key areas. Choosing a school for a child is the most important first step. (Strategies for making school selections will be discussed in more depth in the Choosing a School section). Once a school is chosen, documents and contact information about current medical care, school reports cards, lists of books, and extracurricular activities can expedite the transition.
Why are these important? First, Permanent Change of Station (PCS) orders may require a family to move in the middle of a school year. Receiving schools often process registration information more quickly when all the necessary documents are presented at one time. Waiting for the old school to send the information can take valuable time and delay the particular care a child needs. Also, most schools require proof of vaccinations before admission. If the vaccination requirements of a new location are different than an old assignment, a new doctor would be helped by access to the current medical records. Lastly, some things are not documented by the old school, only by a parent. The receiving school’s coach would be assisted if he or she can see evidence of what position the child played on the former team, for example.
While copies are very helpful, most public schools prefer official records from the “sending” school. The receiving and/or sending school(s) may ask parents to complete a “Request for Records” to allow an official transfer of records. The reason for this is that schools, by law, cannot request information about a child without parental authorization. (This law, called the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), is discussed in more detail in the For Everyone section.)
Since the U.S. education system is one in which States have authority over content standards, student testing, school schedules, and graduation requirements, military families moving from one State to another will find a great many variances between school systems. Some families also find variances between levels of schools and need to be attentive to the requirement variances between elementary to middle school and middle school to high school. The following is a list of the most important types of information needed to ease school transitions and facilitate appropriate placement and support of a child:
Course descriptions – These describe the nature of a course and facilitate the new school being able to place a child at the appropriate level. These documents are especially important for high school students who may need to complete certain courses in order to graduate or just to progress to the next academic level. Without this information, a child may waste time repeating material already taught in the old school. Parents should also pay attention to college entrance requirements for courses such as Algebra, Calculus or foreign languages. Sometimes the receiving school may not offer a course such as Algebra in eighth grade, which can delay the sequence of courses needed. It is also important to note that since social studies courses in States require that State’s specific history, a child moving to another State is often required to take the social studies course again.
Grading scale used by the current school, including weighted grading systems – While there is no central grading system in the U.S., there are generally accepted standards of grading. Most school systems grade on a five-point scale, A through F, beginning in early elementary grades. Each letter grade represents a numerical value, with “A” generally being equal to 4.0 and F equal to 1.0. In some States, especially in high school grading systems, students can receive additional numerical values or a “weighted” score if they take advanced placement courses. An advanced class in calculus could earn a 5.0 for an A, versus a more standard 4.0, for example. Matching the old and new schools’ grading systems can ensure that a child receives the appropriate credit for courses taken.
These variances become important when grades begin to translate into credits earned toward high school graduation. Grades are also used to place children in various levels of academic classes, from very rigorous to remedial. Therefore, in order to assign appropriate credit hours and report card averages, the new school should understand the specific grading system of a child’s current school.
Parents and guardians can relay this information by taking a copy or official transcript to the new school. The new schools may also request such information from the current school, but only with a parent’s authorization.
Course schedule – Documents that list the progression of courses that a child has completed, in order and by the progress to date in each course.
A list of all titles of textbooks used in the current school – This list is useful in helping to substantiate the curriculum and topics reviewed in a child’s current school.
Special education records – Reports from the sending school about a child’s IEP (Individual Education Plan), and/or therapeutic interventions are important to hand-carry. Delay or failure to provide these types of records to the receiving school can impede progress that the child may have made with additional supports.
Moving With Special Needs Children:
Copies of important records, such as IFSP, IEP, letters from doctors or EFMP confirming Category Four status for priority housing (Navy and Marine Corps), birth certificates, and passports
Refilled prescription(s)
Contact information for medical connections in the new location
Contact information for current physician and dentist and/or specialists
Health records – Immunizations are essential for public school enrollment nationwide. Parent should make sure to take the most updated and accurate copies of immunization records along. The physician in a new location can request official copies, but most physicians will consider a signed and date-stamped copy. Ultimately though, receiving schools will require that students’ immunizations are in accordance with the requirements of the State. They may even require that records be completed on specific forms.1
Informal school files – A portfolio of a child’s extracurricular activities and accomplishments can assist students by better integrating them into sports teams, by allowing them to participate in national groups (like National Honor Society), or by assisting high school seniors in their college applications. This information can be in the form of newspaper articles, letters of recommendation from coaches, and official commendations or representations of art work.
1For further information about the requirements of immunization, see the following resources from the Centers for Disease Control: Parent’s Guide to Childhood Immunization http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/recs/schedules
Supporting the Unique Needs of a Military-Connected Child
This section will help Military Families address the following topics:
Supporting Children Through Family Changes
While most military-connected children are able to adjust well, dealing with parent deployment, changing schools, changing homes, and even a parent’s return from deployment can cause stress in children. Children and youth are also keenly aware of their parents’ feelings and can react to them. When military-connected children’s worries and concerns are not addressed, parents may notice a change in their child’s behavior. The American Academy of Psychology, in its 2004 report on military families, described behavioral changes for children at various ages. The following is an excerpt from the report:
Parents and guardians can take important steps to help children express their feelings and gain control of their changing situation. Some ideas are as follows:
Involve children in the process – Provide open and transparent information to children about the move, when a parent will be deployed, or other expected change. For example, parents can help children feel more control over the move by involving them in the planning and research of the new location. For younger children, this can take the form of pictures on a calendar to mark when the moving van will come.
Watch for changes and talk about it – Parents know their children well and should take notice of mood or behavior changes like in eating or sleeping. The key is to provide children with opportunities to talk about their feelings and help them learn to cope. Maintaining good communication with a child’s teachers, coaches, and other adults in their lives will also provide insights into their needs and ways to address them.
Self care – It is important for parents to recognize their own signs of anxiety, stress, and depression so they can be more emotionally available for their children. Whether a parent is the one being deployed or staying behind, managing one’s own stress and attending to general health and well-being are essential to care of others. Adults must recognize the need for time alone, to talk to friends, or seek additional professional help, if needed.
Take advantage of existing supports – The Department of Defense has created multiple Web sites and publications to provide information about every aspect of moving and relocating children and supporting a military family’s needs. Consult the school liaison officer at the new location and call supervisors to get the resources needed for emotional or practical support. (Read more about the supports families can receive from the military in the Military Supports for Students section by clicking here.)
Keep to an existing schedule – Children of all ages thrive on routine. This is especially important in times of change, when any level of predictability comforts families. Parents should try to keep bedtime, mealtime, and other routines. They should also make sure to continue to attend events such as soccer games or school plays, as always. These steps help children to know that the location may change, but the family itself and the relationships they cherish the most will remain constant.
Remember to say “Goodbye” – Teaching children how to separate is a critical life skill. Those that learn to do this well understand how to keep the positive memories of one relationship and can embrace new ones.
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Ensuring Academic Success and Positive School Transitions
Over the course of a military child’s academic experience, on average, he or she may change schools six to nine times. These changes help children become very adaptive to new environments and making new friends. All children require ongoing support from parents and guardians to ensure that each academic transition is well managed and supports achievement. But the children of military families may need even more involvement by their parents because they face changes more frequently than nonmilitary children.
When preparing for a move for example, parents and guardians must attend to a few key areas. Choosing a school for a child is the most important first step. (Strategies for making school selections will be discussed in more depth in the Choosing a School section). Once a school is chosen, documents and contact information about current medical care, school reports cards, lists of books, and extracurricular activities can expedite the transition.
Why are these important? First, Permanent Change of Station (PCS) orders may require a family to move in the middle of a school year. Receiving schools often process registration information more quickly when all the necessary documents are presented at one time. Waiting for the old school to send the information can take valuable time and delay the particular care a child needs. Also, most schools require proof of vaccinations before admission. If the vaccination requirements of a new location are different than an old assignment, a new doctor would be helped by access to the current medical records. Lastly, some things are not documented by the old school, only by a parent. The receiving school’s coach would be assisted if he or she can see evidence of what position the child played on the former team, for example.
While copies are very helpful, most public schools prefer official records from the “sending” school. The receiving and/or sending school(s) may ask parents to complete a “Request for Records” to allow an official transfer of records. The reason for this is that schools, by law, cannot request information about a child without parental authorization. (This law, called the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), is discussed in more detail in the For Everyone section.)
Since the U.S. education system is one in which States have authority over content standards, student testing, school schedules, and graduation requirements, military families moving from one State to another will find a great many variances between school systems. Some families also find variances between levels of schools and need to be attentive to the requirement variances between elementary to middle school and middle school to high school. The following is a list of the most important types of information needed to ease school transitions and facilitate appropriate placement and support of a child:
Course descriptions – These describe the nature of a course and facilitate the new school being able to place a child at the appropriate level. These documents are especially important for high school students who may need to complete certain courses in order to graduate or just to progress to the next academic level. Without this information, a child may waste time repeating material already taught in the old school. Parents should also pay attention to college entrance requirements for courses such as Algebra, Calculus or foreign languages. Sometimes the receiving school may not offer a course such as Algebra in eighth grade, which can delay the sequence of courses needed. It is also important to note that since social studies courses in States require that State’s specific history, a child moving to another State is often required to take the social studies course again.
Grading scale used by the current school, including weighted grading systems – While there is no central grading system in the U.S., there are generally accepted standards of grading. Most school systems grade on a five-point scale, A through F, beginning in early elementary grades. Each letter grade represents a numerical value, with “A” generally being equal to 4.0 and F equal to 1.0. In some States, especially in high school grading systems, students can receive additional numerical values or a “weighted” score if they take advanced placement courses. An advanced class in calculus could earn a 5.0 for an A, versus a more standard 4.0, for example. Matching the old and new schools’ grading systems can ensure that a child receives the appropriate credit for courses taken.
These variances become important when grades begin to translate into credits earned toward high school graduation. Grades are also used to place children in various levels of academic classes, from very rigorous to remedial. Therefore, in order to assign appropriate credit hours and report card averages, the new school should understand the specific grading system of a child’s current school.
Parents and guardians can relay this information by taking a copy or official transcript to the new school. The new schools may also request such information from the current school, but only with a parent’s authorization.
Course schedule – Documents that list the progression of courses that a child has completed, in order and by the progress to date in each course.
A list of all titles of textbooks used in the current school – This list is useful in helping to substantiate the curriculum and topics reviewed in a child’s current school.
Special education records – Reports from the sending school about a child’s IEP (Individual Education Plan), and/or therapeutic interventions are important to hand-carry. Delay or failure to provide these types of records to the receiving school can impede progress that the child may have made with additional supports.
Health records – Immunizations are essential for public school enrollment nationwide. Parent should make sure to take the most updated and accurate copies of immunization records along. The physician in a new location can request official copies, but most physicians will consider a signed and date-stamped copy. Ultimately though, receiving schools will require that students’ immunizations are in accordance with the requirements of the State. They may even require that records be completed on specific forms.1
Informal school files – A portfolio of a child’s extracurricular activities and accomplishments can assist students by better integrating them into sports teams, by allowing them to participate in national groups (like National Honor Society), or by assisting high school seniors in their college applications. This information can be in the form of newspaper articles, letters of recommendation from coaches, and official commendations or representations of art work.
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Notes
1For further information about the requirements of immunization, see the following resources from the Centers for Disease Control: Parent’s Guide to Childhood Immunization http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/recs/schedules