Many people assume that a
nursing home is the only option
for parent or older persons who
can no longer live alone in their own homes.
However, there are many housing alternatives
available. The information listed below will
familiarize you with some of these options.
The questions that follow each section suggest
what you, your parent, or an older person
might consider before selecting an alternative
living arrangement. Please note that although
this section refers to "parent," it applies to
both parents.
For many people, having a parent move in
with them is the best choice when living alone
is no longer possible for the older person. For
other people, it can be a difficult choice. If
you are considering such an arrangement, you
need to talk seriously with your immediate
family and your parents to understand how
each one of them feels. You also need to be
sure to express all of your feelings about the
situation. Talk with friends whose parents live
with them and try to understand what it's like
for them. Think through the questions listed
below for both parents and children and
discuss the issues together before agreeing to
this living arrangement.
Questions for the Adult Child
Do you want your parent to move in?
Have you been honest in expressing your
feelings about it?
Are you aware of local services that could
help you through difficult situations?
If you don't want your mother or father to
move in, but it must happen anyway, will
you be able to handle it?
How much time can you spend with your
parent? Have you explained what your
weekdays and weekends are like?
Do you expect your parent to do chores
around the house? Is this a reasonable
expectation? Have you talked to your
parent about what to expect and why?
Can you afford it?
Questions for the Parent
Does your son or daughter want you to
move in? If not, and
you move in anyway,
will the emotional strain
be too much on you?
How will living
expenses be shared?
What will you use for
transportation? Will
you have easy access to
shopping, a place of
worship, friends, and
other interests of your
own?
Do you have friends in the area where
your children live? Are there people close
by with whom you can create friendships?
Will you be able to accommodate your
child's lifestyle?
Will you be able to live with your
children's children?
Can your children afford to have you live
with them?
How will your presence affect family
relationships?
How much time will you expect your child
to spend with you?
Foster Care
Foster care is a social service that places an
older person who is in need of a modest
amount of daily assistance into a warm home
environment. The costs vary, and may be
covered by the State social services program.
The older person may be expected to
contribute to the stipend paid to the family
providing the foster care. The availability of
this program is limited. Contact your AAA
for more information.
This page can be found on the web at the following url: http://www.opm.gov/Employment_and_Benefits/WorkLife/OfficialDocuments/handbooksguides/ElderCareResources/elder05.asp