I apologize that I haven't blogged in a while...not that I am so arrogant to think there are tons of people out there reading this...but just in case there's one. :) Truth is, I've been feeling kind of guilty. I mean here I am supposed to have quit, yet I'm still not. That sucks. A lil' bit o' guilt there. I guess that's the downside of signing up for a Internet campaign.
I did talk to my Quitcoach a couple of weeks ago. Here's the beauty of having a Quitcoach: He didn't make me feel bad, but he did give me a kick in the pants to get motivated again. It was actually what I needed. I mean, he asked on a scale of 1-10 what my current motivation was...I gave it a 5. Can we say easy answer? Right in the middle. I thought I would be ok with that answer...but alas...no. I got the "I can't motivate you. You have to motivate yourself." speech. And he was right.
I did find the value of family support in this kicking an addiction thing. My aunt and I were talking about me quitting and I was telling her how hard it was and what-not. She made a very good point: Until the benefits of not smoking outweigh the satisfaction of smoking...I won't be truly modivatied quit. We talked about how that was true in everything. Until someone wants to change, they won't. Until they see that changing a behavior is a better way of life...well, not even that...is more beneficial than continuing the current behavior...there's no real motivation.
The scales are slowly starting to tip to the "I'm not a smoker" side. I notice the smell a lot more now. And, man it stinks. yuck! And I notice other little things too. So, my Quit Coach and I came up with a new Quit Plan. That's one thing I really like about the Quitline...no one makes you feel guilty or bad because you smoke...but they sure don't let you get away with easy answers. :) So my new Quit Date is Monday. And this time, I'm going to try the Nicotine Replacement Therapy. I'm going to get the patch. For some reason, the gum and stuff just kind of freaks me out. Well, the patch isn't much better...but at least I don't get the picture of it burning a hole in the side of my cheek. I know, I can take thousands of toxins and the nicotine into my body when I smoke a cigarette and I'm worried about a little patch and the little bit of nicotine that's on it? Makes no sense...you're right.
Right now, I'm still celebrating small victories. I drove on a short road trip last weekend...Didn't smoke in my car the whole way. Normally, I would have had at least 4-5 cigarettes in the short hour and a half trip. I didn't smoke the whole way back either. Little things add up to big things I guess.
I guess the last thoughts I would like to share are these. To those out there who are trying to quit smoking or know some one who is going through it, remember that for some of us, this is a process. There are people out there who smoke and wake up one day and decide..."You know what? I don't want to smoke anymore." And they don't. Never again. Easy as that. Now, I imagine that they still get the cravings the first two weeks like the rest of us...but they never touch the stuff again. Then there are those of us, who have to practice. We have to get there mentally and have to really, really work at this. And it's rough. So, please, if you love a smoker who's trying to quit, be patient and kind with us. We'll get it...eventually. Practice makes perfect right?
And I must say that those who can just decide to quit and do...lucky b^$!%*#ds. lol.
I don't know how Monday is going to go...but I'm still practicing. Maybe someday I'll be perfect. :)
Good luck on your own Quit Plan!
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