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Today at the gym, from about 20 feet away, I sprayed a man in the face with some industrial cleanser. So now I have to find a new gym. 9:49 AM Jan 28th from web |
I saw "RIP Updike" and I thought, "Monteiro, this time you've gone too far!" But it was a Coudal tweet and it's real and I'm sad. 10:44 AM Jan 27th from web |
Jonas and I were conspiring how to get food without leaving the house: "Let's send Daddy. He's got no brains." Even I thought it was harsh. 9:06 AM Jan 26th from web |
The man with thousands of dollars in cameras, pens, apps, and cables is going to give me shit about how much toilet paper I use? SERIOUSLY? 8:44 AM Jan 24th from web |
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Getting a child into school is both soul-sucking and gut-wrenching. And I should know, because I've been to law school. 7:31 PM Jan 23rd from web |
If I have learned one thing from the Eagles game, it's that I should be drinking for the Steelers game. 3:38 PM Jan 18th from web |
I'm glad I wasn't watching The Shining exactly 5 years ago, or this kid would be Scatman Gruber. 7:40 PM Jan 15th from web |
Me: "Since it's your birthday, you can get a soda." Jonas: "I AM GOING TO DRINK THE CRAP OUT OF THAT SODA!" Awesome. 5:16 PM Jan 15th from web |
You know how you spell in front of kids so they don't know what you're saying? Well, it also works on my husband. Cannot spell on the fly. 8:04 PM Jan 14th from web |
John is trying to convince Jonas that a piñata would be just as fun filled with Japanese pens, Field Notes, and paperclips. 12:05 PM Jan 14th from web |
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@tj You should also go to Primanti's. I can't recommend any fine dining because I was broke when I lived in Pittsburgh. 7:38 PM Jan 12th from web in reply to tj |
@tj Go to the O in Oakland. You might get shot, but the fries would be worth it. Be warned: we didn't call it the "Dirty O" for nothing. 7:25 PM Jan 12th from web in reply to tj |
Eagles fans at Best Buy: We're all excited, but let's hold off on buying the giant TVs for one more week. 12:43 PM Jan 12th from Birdhouse |
Ann Coulter has done an amazing job of making very stupid people believe that their hatred is a valid political stance. 9:29 AM Jan 12th from web |