Beauty of the yearbook photo tweet: Followers can't tell if it's spam or just a bad joke. Either way it served its evil purpose. about 7 hours ago from twitterrific |
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Disappointed that Luke won't get to be my flunky. Difficult to make someone your right-hand man after you've cut it off. 7:57 AM Nov 7th from twitterrific |
I wasn't around for the fabled celebration when the Empire fell, but I'm told it looked alot like what happened last night, Ewoks & all. 12:08 PM Nov 5th from twitterrific |
Had to return from a trip to the Outer Rim. Felt a disturbance in the Dark Side like millions of mavericks suddenly cried out... 11:31 AM Nov 5th from twitterrific |
Have honed my Force powers so that kids think I'm giving them Reese's & KitKats when in fact I'm handing out Smartees & dryer lint. Boo-yah! 10:48 AM Oct 31st from twitterrific |
Traded my lightsaber in for a shotgun and adjusted my O2 supply so I would fall asleep at important staff meetings. I'm all set. 8:24 AM Oct 30th from twitterrific |
Heard through the Imperial grape vine that Dick Cheney is going as me for Halloween. Funny 'cause I'm planning on going as him. 8:21 AM Oct 30th from twitterrific |
People are telling me my son has the hots for... his *sister*. Luke my boy, this is a galaxy far, far away, not West Virginia. 11:13 AM Oct 24th from twitterrific |
Just got my SMS Joke-of-the-day: "Whadda call a guy with no arms or legs who hangs on the wall? Art Vader!" Not. Funny. 9:02 AM Oct 22nd from twitterrific |
To all the wannabe Imperials who said Troopers don't have Force powers, true, but they do have something called a blaster. Try looking it up 12:50 PM Oct 21st from twitterrific |
To all troopers: When searching for droids with stolen Death Star Battle plans, check behind ALL doors, even the ones that are locked. 11:30 AM Oct 20th from twitterrific |