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Me: "An apron is what you wear when you cook." Leta: "Then why do you have one?"
Jon must narrate Macworld out loud. This habit of his is right up there with owning footwear made for gnomes.
No, I will not share my cookie with you, Leta. I shared my womb. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.
If Twitter replies are any indication, an alarming number of people really do think they're going to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt.
Turns out it's a bit of a disappointment if you thought you were going to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt.
Damn you, Brody Jenner. Give me back that hour!
Next three hours will be spent furiously wrapping presents. Santa Claus is such a procrastinator.
GUESS WHO REFUSES TO TRY A CINNAMON ROLL.
Inroducing Leta to cinnamon rolls. Had to break it to her that, no, we don't dip these in ketchup. She was horrified.
Just heard baby's heartbeat, a solid 144 beats per minute. There's a rave going on in my womb.
Just spoke to a room full of marketers from Unilever. My line about tearing during labor and delivery KILLED.
Jon and Leta are watching America's Funniest Videos, and their laughter is almost deafening. What can I say? We like fart jokes.
SLC: I'm doing an interview tonight on KRCL 90.9 FM between 6-7PM, will be streaming live at krcl.org. Promise to mention nuts on air.
The server at Chili's brought me four mugs of Diet Coke, and I was so happy about this that for a second I finally understood Sarah Palin.
Leta: "Mom, I think the baby is a girl." Me: "What if it's a boy?" Leta: "Um... I'll scream."
Leta, I don't think I need to give you a reason why I refuse to smell your feet.
It was obviously a man who coined the term "morning" sickness, she says as she throws up dinner.
Every morning for the past three days Leta has eaten four pancakes for breakfast. Then she announces that the baby in her tummy is a girl.
I ate twelve meals today, and only one of them included potato chips. However, all of them included ketchup.
"Can you actually eat turkey testicles?" "Of course! It's called tendergroin."
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