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Me: "An apron is what you wear when you cook." Leta: "Then why do you have one?" |
Jon must narrate Macworld out loud. This habit of his is right up there with owning footwear made for gnomes. |
No, I will not share my cookie with you, Leta. I shared my womb. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH. |
If Twitter replies are any indication, an alarming number of people really do think they're going to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt. |
Turns out it's a bit of a disappointment if you thought you were going to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt. |
Damn you, Brody Jenner. Give me back that hour! |
Next three hours will be spent furiously wrapping presents. Santa Claus is such a procrastinator. |
GUESS WHO REFUSES TO TRY A CINNAMON ROLL. |
Inroducing Leta to cinnamon rolls. Had to break it to her that, no, we don't dip these in ketchup. She was horrified. |
Just heard baby's heartbeat, a solid 144 beats per minute. There's a rave going on in my womb. |
Just spoke to a room full of marketers from Unilever. My line about tearing during labor and delivery KILLED. |
Jon and Leta are watching America's Funniest Videos, and their laughter is almost deafening. What can I say? We like fart jokes. |
SLC: I'm doing an interview tonight on KRCL 90.9 FM between 6-7PM, will be streaming live at krcl.org. Promise to mention nuts on air. |
The server at Chili's brought me four mugs of Diet Coke, and I was so happy about this that for a second I finally understood Sarah Palin. |
Leta: "Mom, I think the baby is a girl."
Me: "What if it's a boy?"
Leta: "Um... I'll scream." |
Leta, I don't think I need to give you a reason why I refuse to smell your feet. |
It was obviously a man who coined the term "morning" sickness, she says as she throws up dinner. |
Every morning for the past three days Leta has eaten four pancakes for breakfast. Then she announces that the baby in her tummy is a girl. |
I ate twelve meals today, and only one of them included potato chips. However, all of them included ketchup. |
"Can you actually eat turkey testicles?" "Of course! It's called tendergroin." |
