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TinaFey

It's not Christmas with out Karen Carpenter.
Phew! Macbook back from wherever they send these things. Interwebz here I come!
Somewhere a man named Barack Obama sits on a toilet and thinks the same thing I do: I need to trim my toe nails.
Why do they say, "I'm Prairie Doggin' it", when "I'm doin' a turdle!" would make more sense. And be punny.
You may all return to your previously scheduled poop jokes, sex references, and general vulgarity.
"But Daddy, Obama's kids are getting a puppy, why can't I?" Because Daddy voted for McCain.
I can't remember the last time I was this proud to be an American. I am so proud of all of us.
READY THE SHOT GLASSES AMERICA.
When they call it for Barack, we all do a shot.
Please make the right choice today.
Is it too early for nachos?
For some reason my farts smell like dog food. I don't think I ate any
What would be a funny name for a garbage man?
Halloween is good because I can pretend I'm buying candy to give away.
When it comes to sex my only rule is no ifs, ands, or butts. Literally.
Dude, those new Macs are super sexxay.
People peeeeeeople, get it straight. The saxophone is the devil's tool. Duh. That's why it's the only instrument capable of the brown note.
So basically jazz is amazing. But only old jazz! None of this midi bullshit. Fuck you smooth jazz.
Common Consensus: Excedrin Migraine. Thank you!
Guys, what's the best headache medicine?