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meowrey

"Step 2: Put up the long rod" = also a good *first* step for making your bed romantic, if you catch my drift. (LADIES DIG WELL-ENDOWED MEN!)
I'm building an article from the January issue about making your bed romantic by hanging curtains around it. "Step 2: Put up the long rod."
The insanely constricting Spanx body shaper I'm wearing under my dress...is crotchless. So, I can't breathe, but my downtown ladyparts can.
Tonight the best boyfriend in the world, @buzz, is taking me to early b-day meal at Blue Ribbon Sushi & to see Stella live. (That's pride.)
Too lazy to run to sink, so I used Purell to wash BBQ Frito dust off my hands. There's sloth & gluttony. Can I manage all 7 sins in 1 day?
I called in bi-curious today. So, like, I'm working...but I'm not thinking of the "work" while I am doing it.
Trashed my fave old coat with a broken zipper. It's hard to admit when things don't work, even if it's only a coat. #carriebradshawvoiceover
My Bareminerals makeup demands a "Swirl, Tap, Buff®" application. There's even a *DVD demo*. With great powder comes great responsibility.
Thai place receipt says my server was "Hon." Not sure if that's her real name, or if she's just trying to make patronizing dads feel better.
Deep throat a candy cane, ladies! It's Christmas on iStock!
My boss, @douls, rocks 3-day bedhead like a hipster goddess. I skip 1 shower = used-car salesman. Is it cuz I don't live in Brooklyn, hair?!
How I Judge Your Fingerless Gloves. On Ladies: "Cute hint of vintage Madonna cheek!" On Men: "I hope you're going to an 'Oliver!' audition."
Cabbie from JFK peed in a cup while driving me, dumping piss out the door @ lights. Then demanded a bigger tip. NYC: "Welcome home, Briana!"
@killig & I just got back from a biz trip @ Langham Huntington Hotel & Spa in CA. It's so nice, I'd clean up before letting housekeeping in.
The new First Lady can't say it again, so I will: “For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country."
Forced to edit an article to a stringent word count, I turn into that toilet paper lady from Seinfeld. Dude, I DON'T HAVE A SQUARE TO SPARE.
@apelad I totally saw your (|:|/) 's ∑:*) last night. I ////Ö\\\\ taking off her clothes.
@jimray Just don't hash it/and leave it/or I'll compute quick and retrieve it
@jimray When it comes to passwords/info ain't got nuttin to do with my selection/36-24-36?/Only if it's not my student ID
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