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"Step 2: Put up the long rod" = also a good *first* step for making your bed romantic, if you catch my drift. (LADIES DIG WELL-ENDOWED MEN!) |
I'm building an article from the January issue about making your bed romantic by hanging curtains around it. "Step 2: Put up the long rod." |
The insanely constricting Spanx body shaper I'm wearing under my dress...is crotchless. So, I can't breathe, but my downtown ladyparts can. |
Tonight the best boyfriend in the world, @buzz, is taking me to early b-day meal at Blue Ribbon Sushi & to see Stella live. (That's pride.) |
Too lazy to run to sink, so I used Purell to wash BBQ Frito dust off my hands. There's sloth & gluttony. Can I manage all 7 sins in 1 day? |
I called in bi-curious today. So, like, I'm working...but I'm not thinking of the "work" while I am doing it. |
Trashed my fave old coat with a broken zipper. It's hard to admit when things don't work, even if it's only a coat. #carriebradshawvoiceover |
My Bareminerals makeup demands a "Swirl, Tap, Buff®" application. There's even a *DVD demo*. With great powder comes great responsibility. |
Thai place receipt says my server was "Hon." Not sure if that's her real name, or if she's just trying to make patronizing dads feel better. |
Deep throat a candy cane, ladies! It's Christmas on iStock! |
My boss, @douls, rocks 3-day bedhead like a hipster goddess. I skip 1 shower = used-car salesman. Is it cuz I don't live in Brooklyn, hair?! |
How I Judge Your Fingerless Gloves. On Ladies: "Cute hint of vintage Madonna cheek!" On Men: "I hope you're going to an 'Oliver!' audition." |
Cabbie from JFK peed in a cup while driving me, dumping piss out the door @ lights. Then demanded a bigger tip. NYC: "Welcome home, Briana!" |
@killig & I just got back from a biz trip @ Langham Huntington Hotel & Spa in CA. It's so nice, I'd clean up before letting housekeeping in. |
The new First Lady can't say it again, so I will: “For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country." |
Forced to edit an article to a stringent word count, I turn into that toilet paper lady from Seinfeld. Dude, I DON'T HAVE A SQUARE TO SPARE. |
@apelad I totally saw your (|:|/) 's ∑:*) last night. I ////Ö\\\\ taking off her clothes. |
@jimray Just don't hash it/and leave it/or I'll compute quick and retrieve it |
@jimray When it comes to passwords/info ain't got nuttin to do with my selection/36-24-36?/Only if it's not my student ID |
