In the past hour, I have broken my glasses, dropped my iPhone, and fallen twice, hard, on icy sidewalks. I am sore and grouchy and drinking. about 2 hours ago from twitterrific |
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When AI is perfected, I won't be friends with any of them that insist on telling me the mathematical probabilities of everything. about 7 hours ago from twitterrific |
I’m afraid to google the Redneck Apocalypse idea I had—“Arma-Git-'Er-Done”—b/c if it’s not original that would just be too much to bear.... about 9 hours ago from twitterrific |
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The cat's reward for successfully knocking down the decorations is getting to eat the tape that was keeping them up. about 15 hours ago from twitterrific |
When the first Google result is Encyclopedia Dramatica, you don't actually need to know what that acronym stands for. 8:38 PM Dec 6th from twitterrific |
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Stephanie has a shirt that does her a lot of favours. And by her, I mean me. And by me, I mean her breasts. 10:08 PM Dec 5th from twitterrific |
We had dinner at a restaurant so classy I would have felt awkward twittering from it. Now: Home, sweatpants, gin. 8:00 PM Dec 5th from twitterrific |
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"No, it definitely happened at night."
"What?"
"Not during the day."
"...I said *date*. *Date* rape."
"Oh. Yeah, it was that, too." 2:44 PM Dec 5th from twitterrific |
Was going to create a Wikipedia article or two this afternoon, and then I remembered I don't give a shit about WIkipedia. 1:18 PM Dec 5th from twitterrific |