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If my printer had a face, I would punch it. |
Finally scheduled PT for my shoulders! Which is good because Henry told me he's tired of my "ow"s. |
Your obviously superficial scanning of my latest post has convinced me that I want to promote your product! I applaud your lack of effort! |
I have a stitch in my side and I'm not moving. This can't be a good sign. |
Scott woke me up with coffee and his Bill Moyers impression. Everyone should wake up to Scott's Moyers. Sadly for you, it is not to be. |
Dear WordTwist: SPACHUB is completely a word. So is CHAPBUS. |
Finished my phone session. Therapist didn't roll her eyes, SHE CLAIMS, but I did catch her playing the world's tiniest violin. |
Waiting for my therapist to call me for a phone session. Who wants to bet she'll be rolling her eyes the whole time? |
Recovering from an existential freakout in Whole Foods. |
Charlie is seriously glaring at me while I'm on the treadmill. "Oh my god. Why aren't you running outside. With me. DICK." |
Henry's snoring, Izzy's purring, Scott and I are typing. The dog is suspiciously quiet. |
On a positive note, I haven't trampled anyone today, so I feel pretty good about myself. |
You know, when someone gets TRAMPLED TO DEATH, maybe this fucking insane Black Friday idea should be scrapped. Just a thought. |
"Because without dreams, dreams can't come true!" Matt Lauer can't possibly read this copy and not die inside a little. |
HINGES: evidence that toilet-seat manufacturers do not understand the whimsical peeing habits of the six-year-old. |
Oh my god, you cannot come see my house the day before thanksgiving. Oh, who am I kidding, yes you can. Shit. Where's the vacuum. |
why I am watching entourage oh god I need stop watching entourage please stop me I'm still watching it |
Some days I really like never leaving the house. This was one of those days. The End. |
Two fire trucks just collided right outside my friend's building, and there's a fireman sitting on her stoop, crying. Holy shit. |
I cannot believe how much my stomach hurts. It's not like I'm repressing anything, as everyone around me knows, so what the fuck? |
