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1WP Awards: Have to take the boys to a birthday party for a vegan kid today. Couscous is not an acceptable substitute for burgers, dude. 12:00 PM Dec 6th from TwitterFox |
First World Problem (1WP) Awards Nominee: My next-day-turnaround iPhone repair didn't fix the proximity sensor! 11:54 AM Dec 6th from TwitterFox |
I need to learn to talk to groups. Through the judicious use of nervous backpedaling, I manage to undermine my own opinions as I speak them. 10:26 PM Dec 5th from TwitterFox |
That empty textarea, the just-started word processor, a blank piece of paper -- holy shit! They're not obligations, they're _permission_! 8:10 PM Dec 5th from TwitterFon |
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Tom pointed out that Leia should have been called Queen as soon as Alderaan was destroyed. I can't decide if I'm proud or terrified. 11:55 AM Dec 5th from TwitterFox |
Actual Steps to Taken Towards Personal Reinvention: Park in space one over from usual spot. Feel vaguely discomfited about it. 11:46 AM Dec 5th from TwitterFox |
Actual Steps to Taken Towards Personal Reinvention: Tape stingingly appropriate mockery to wall in front of desk. 11:44 AM Dec 5th from TwitterFox |
I got my iPhone back from being repaired, and celebrated by losing my earbuds. I'm going to pay for this damned thing twice, aren't I? 8:50 AM Dec 5th from TwitterFox |
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror. The dollar menu is _so_ not worth it." 9:27 PM Dec 4th from web |
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I have never understood what, exactly, is intended by the phrase "balls to the wall." 10:34 PM Dec 3rd from web |
Didn't to talk to a pretty girl, because she was trying to get me to do something nice for children or the environment. Wow, I'm an asshole. 4:43 PM Dec 3rd from TwitterFox |
"The Christmas [Article of Clothing]" formula: Child, dead parent, touchstone, epiphany. "The Christmas Crotchless Panties" will be HUGE. 2:13 PM Dec 3rd from TwitterFox |
Saw an ad for Barak Obama commemorative plates yesterday. Boy, are _those_ non-overlapping demographics. 1:46 PM Dec 3rd from TwitterFox |
I hope the surprise ending of Glenn Beck's "The Christmas Sweater" is that it's a fat guy climbing stairs. 1:42 PM Dec 3rd from TwitterFox |
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