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... and if anyone suspects my last 2 posts are related: NO, my girlfriend's NOT torn between me and Johnny Depp. (He won't return her calls) |
FYI: it takes 157 words, including "Do we agree we must discuss further/sooner/later/never?" to say "shit or get off the pot" diplomatically |
I thought it coincidence that every girl I've dated is hot for Johnny Depp, but now I realize it's only because I haven't dated any lesbians |
Much love also to @kolebee, @itsbynnereel, @vmarinelli for the replies. Um... to get to the other side. |
Forget "Followers". I want a tally of people tolerating me enough to let me vibrate their pockets during dinner. (Inspired by a @girk chat.) |
If I had a dollar for every complaint I overheard... I'd never shut up. |
I really do want to be cremated. I like the idea of potentially being confused with Sanka. |
dimple, lime, vicissitude, ass-face, mitochondria, hiccup #6randomwords |
@hotdogsladies We didn't know you were offering! #6wordhint |
I wanted cremated assholes, you assholes! #grossRestaurantComplaints |
I wanted to be cremated, assholes! #6wordepitaph |
See this watch? This watch cost more than your car company. ( @scottsimpson) |
Hey, don't yell at me. I'm just reporting what Wikipedia said I said
it said I said it said. |
According to Wikipedia, verifiability is as good as truth. http://snurl.com/76d5b |
Wikipedia: "Verifiability is just as good as truth.[1] Thus, Wikipedia is reliable. 1.^ Remiel on verifiability: http://snurl.com/76d2g" |
My favorite part of doing banner advertising is filling out the creative briefs. Nothing grabs the eye like a provocative, glittery bulge. |
I don't always know when to go home, but a browser tab entitled "Great Spotted Kiwi - Wikipedia" definitely means I've run out of work juice |
Oh, and @bcompton wins: http://twitter.com/bcompton... |
From my third day on Twitter, entered as Exhibit A: "What if you tweeted as though every update were shown on a billboard in Times Square?" |
To be fair, I was posting Favrd bait long before there was a Favrd. Before anyone was even listening, in fact. Oh god please love me. |
