Four Awesome Food Events in Dallas This Weekend, December 4-7

Sara Kerens

"Cheesemonger's Birthday Surprise." Is it:

A) a clunky translation of the 1960s classic French film, "Joyeux Anniversaire, Propriétaire Fromagerie"

B) an actual food event

C) the term for an illicit act believed to have originated in Antiguan prisons

If you guessed B then you are right, which means you have won nothing! Scardello's cheesemonger, Rich Rogers, is having a birthday. He is celebrating in typical cheesemonger style by pairing his favorite cheeses with his favorite wines. The best part? You're invited. Tastings are $35 per person.

What it be: Cheesemonger's Birthday Surprise

When it do: Thursday, Dec. 4 from 4 - 7 p.m.

Where dat is: Scardello Artisan Cheese 3511 Oak Lawn Avenue Dallas, Texas 75219

You know those sad stand-up comedy bars? The ones that smell like nachos and tears? Don't go there. Go to Community Beer Company instead, where they will host the Brew-HaHa Comedy Series. For $20, a ticket to Brew-HaHa gets you entry into and a mini tour of the brewery, a comedy show featuring 10 comedians, as well as three beers and a commemorative pint glass. They will be doing a Toys for Tots drive that evening, so be sure to bring an unwrapped toy to donate. It's only fair -- you're getting Ale for Adults, after all.

What it be: Brew-HaHa Comedy Series

When it do: Thursday, Dec. 4 at 7 p.m.

Where dat is: Community Beer Company 1530 Inspiration Dr. #200 Dallas, Texas 75207

Denton Main Street Association

Town squares better watch out: Denton just upped their merriment game. On Friday, the Denton Town Square will be cast in a soft, magical glow - the kind that can only be generated from thousands of twinkling Christmas lights. Or a dumpster that caught on fire. As the square becomes illuminated, merchants will dispense piping hot cups of wassail. In case you didn't know, wassail is a hot beverage made from the blood of young apples. And it is delicious. The festivities will continue on Saturday, so your weekend schedule should read something like this:

Friday night, wassail.
Saturday afternoon, more wassail.

What it be: Wassail Fest. For a list of participating merchants, click here.

When it do: Friday, Dec. 5 at 5:30 p.m. and Saturday, Dec. 6th, 2014 at 2 p.m.

Where dat is: Downtown Denton Square 110 W. Hickory St. Denton, Texas 76201

Wikimedia Commons

North Pole Dancing

Whole Foods is holding a gingerbread house decorating workshop this weekend. This event is supposed to be for kids, but if you're anything like me then you'll be putting your hair in pigtails, squeezing into a pair of Osh Kosh denim overalls and taking candy canes to royal icing with the best of them. For $25, Whole Foods will supply the works: pre-fab gingerbread houses, icing, candy and of course, expert guidance. Here's hoping your kid brings home a scale replica of the Kaufman House.

What it be: Whole Foods Gingerbread House Workshop

When it do: Saturday, December 6 from 10 a.m. to noon

Where dat is: Whole Foods Market 8190 Park Ln #351 Dallas, Texas 75231