When faced with a conflict, each person has specific ways in which they tend to respond; these are known as conflict styles. The conflict style may be based on habits, learned patterns, belief systems, or factors such as mood, the nature of the relationship, the significance of the conflict to you, or how much time you have to address it. Learning how to respond constructively to conflict requires understanding what your tendency is when faced with conflict – this is why it is valuable to know your own conflict style.
There are five commonly identified conflict styles:
- avoiding - knowing there’s a problem and choosing not to deal with it
- confronting/ competing - pursing your goals to make the other give in without regard for the needs of the other person
- problem solving - working together to satisfy the needs of both parties
- accommodating - putting your interests last and letting others have what they want
- compromising - identifying a quick solution partially satisfactory to both, but not completely satisfactory to either
There are particular uses for—and advantages and disadvantages to—each of the conflict styles, depending on the situation. Generally, a problem solving approach is most likely to result in a win-win solution, where the needs and interests of all parties are sufficiently met.
Peacebuilders can use their understanding of conflict styles in order to respond intentionally to a conflict, rather than just react impulsively. This is a tool that can help seek the most appropriate response to conflict that will best contribute to its management or resolution.