Once you adopt your stepchild, your family may face a transition period. You’ve navigated the legal necessities and considered the rights of the noncustodial parent, but it may take a while for your newly blended family to adapt to the change.
Don’t worry, the benefits of adopting your stepchild will be worth any initial issues. Here are some ways to make sure your stepchild feels comfortable with the adoption and plays an active role in decision-making:
- Discuss the adoption openly. While the extent of your conversations will vary depending on the child's age, discussing the adoption is important to make sure your stepchild feels comfortable and doesn't have any questions. Talk openly about the adoption to make the transition as easy on your stepchild as possible.
- Consult a social worker or counselor. Meeting with a neutral party can be especially helpful if your stepchild is confused by feelings of loyalty toward the birth parent. Check with your installation's Military and Family Support Center to find a counselor nearby.
- Get your stepchild a Department of Defense ID card. If you are a service member and your spouse is not, make sure you get your new stepchild a Department of Defense ID card to grant access to a wide range of military benefits.
- Enroll your stepchild in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System. Your child must be enrolled in this system, also known as DEERS, in order to be eligible for medical and dental care through TRICARE, the military's health care program. For more information, visit the TRICARE website or call the DEERS office at 800-538-9552.
- Help your stepchild get involved on the installation. Installation activities are a great way to help your stepchild get used to his or her new home and meet other military kids. Check out Morale, Welfare and Recreation programs to find recreation opportunities near you.
- Don't forget to celebrate. This is a special time for your family. On the day your adoption is legalized, you might want to take your child to his or her favorite restaurant or throw a party. Create a tradition and celebrate the anniversary every year.
Above all, remember that these things take time. Practice patience and understanding with your child as you and your family work through the transition.