Moving – Blog Brigade

PCSing With Your Dog: Mind Your Mutt’s Manners

Posted by on August 22, 2016 at 07:00

Aug 222016

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Julie

Moves happen all the time in the military community. There’s that span of time, as your neighbors are moving in, where you hold your breath waiting to see if they’ll be good neighbors (respectful, kind and friendly) or the kind that make you count the days until your next PCS. Your dog’s behaviors escalate the risks of the latter. Here are a few ways to make sure you and your four-legged fur-amily members are a welcomed addition to the neighborhood.

Avoid bad-neighbor status

When you’re are running or walking through your neighborhood and you see THAT pet owner with their uncontrolled dog on the leash coming toward you — your muscles start to clench and you sweat a bit more from that underlying fear that this time the dog will lunge and take a chunk out of your leg. Don’t be that neighbor everyone dreads passing. Here are the behaviors that give your dog (and you) a bad name:

Pulling on leash and lunging at strangers
Jumping on visitors
Growling and barking at visitors
Hiding in fear of visitors
Barking excessively
Stealing food from the counter or people’s plates or hands
Behaving aggressively with other dogs
Refusing to come when called
Neglecting to clean up after your dog when he voids outside of your yard
Roaming around unattended outside your yard

Choose to raise a well-mannered fur-amily member

Every family parents pets differently. There’s nothing wrong with doing things your own way, but make sure your fur babies know how to behave in a way that keeps them, other people, dogs and property safe, because it’s your responsibility. Choose to be proactive with your pet. Decide how you want to train your dog to behave. There are numerous ways to train your canine, including:

Private classes (you and your dog with the instructor)
Group classes (you and your dog with other pet-owner couples and an instructor)
Camp training (dog goes away with the trainer for a few weeks and comes back trained)
Do-it-yourself training from a book, the internet or prior knowledge

I’ve tried the do-it-yourself method from a book and it worked, but I’ve always had the best and quickest results when I attended group or private classes and practiced at home. Half of training your dog is training yourself to understand your dog (how she thinks, what motivates her, and how you become and remain a trusted pack leader). I highly recommend a training course where your dog is exposed to other dogs and people. Socialization, learning to interact well with others, is a huge part of being a good neighbor.

Coco

You can teach any dog manners

Whether your dog is a puppy, a geriatric, stubborn, or a complete klutz (I’ve had a few that chase balls right into walls, doors and fences), they are trainable. You may need to reach out to your veterinarian, a licensed dog trainer or an animal behaviorist to help you if your dog is excessively fearful or aggressive. There’s hope for all pets, they just need the right instruction and consistent practice.

After our fur-child of 14 years, Faith, died earlier this year, we decided to adopt another dog from the local shelter. After a few visits, we found our sweet Coco, a 2-year-old special, and realized we had a lot of energy on our hands. We quickly learned to take her on a walk or play fetch with her multiple times a day so she could run out her energy and curb her night crazies a bit.

We also started taking her to private lessons from a trainer, worked with her at home and then went to Canine Good Citizen training course through our veterinarian’s office. The training and test cover the basics of good behavior for dogs. Dogs that can perform the 10 skills on the test are truly a pleasure. Here are the 10 good-behavior goals for your dog:

Accept a stranger (shows no signs of fear or aggression and not leave your side to greet them)
Sit for petting (doesn’t move from sitting position and allows stranger to pet them)
Tolerate grooming (lets stranger groom and touch paws, tail, ears)
Walk on loose leash (no pulling, is attentive to owner and follows where they lead)
Walk through a crowd (no pulling on leash, no signs of fear or aggression while following owner)
Stay in sit or down position (remains in stay when owner walks 20 feet away and back)
Come when called (immediately returns to owner when called)
Be polite around dogs (shows casual interest in other dogs walking by, no pulling toward them)
Remain confident when distracted (shows confidence, not panic with loud sounds or visual distractions)
Stay calm when separated (can be left with another person for brief time and maintains manners)

Sometimes we get so busy with work and life that we forget to get involved with our animals beyond the couch cuddles and feeding time. Invest in your dog as you do your children. OK. So maybe your dog doesn’t need tap dance or soccer lessons, but remember that your dog needs some interaction and a purpose or job to do each day too. You can do obedience training, teach your dog tricks or jobs around the house, train for agility trials, practice fetch with Frisbees, learn therapy dog skills or just go on daily walks. Your dog will love every moment of that time with you, and you and your dog will earn a welcomed spot in the neighborhood.

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5 Things You Get When You Move Off Cycle

Posted by on August 15, 2016 at 07:00

Aug 152016

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Kristi

All the boxes — I’ll take all the boxes. That’s my thought every time I see a post on our community’s Facebook page from yet another new neighbor that advertises “boxes and packing paper free on the porch.”

There’s nothing like the smell of cardboard in the summer in a military-heavy neighborhood, but it’s hard to get in the spirit of moving season when you watch new faces settle in as you scramble to get your kid ready for kindergarten while simultaneously filling out paperwork for a mid-year transfer on the complete opposite side of the country — 2,869 miles to be exact.

This is my first move off cycle, and so far I can describe it as having our invitation to the party lost in the mail.

#1: School breaks never, repeat never, align.

A summer PCS takes advantage of a season-long vacation from school, but moving literally any other time in the year means pulling kids out of one school and dropping them in another mid-year.

This leaves parents like me doing crazy real-life word problems like, “Student A starts spring break in California on March 20 and has two weeks off. His family leaves to move across the country on March 31. He arrives at his new home on April 8. His new school takes spring break from April 10-17. How many weeks of school will he miss?” Four — the answer is roughly one month out of school. Widen your eyes just a little more, and you’ll be at my level of amazement.

What’s a parent to do? We do our homework — lots and lots of homework — to make sure every little detail is attended to (enrollment paperwork, grade transfers and school physicals), so that all we have to do is show up and be the new kid (and we hope that doesn’t become an issue all its own). So far, the school liaison at our future installation has been amazing. Make this lifeline your first point of contact every time.

#2: Weaving a vacation into an off-cycle PCS is tricky.

Our summer move to California was the stuff of dreams. We could have been the spokesmodels for the great American road trip. State by state, we checked items off our bucket lists. Naturally, I wanted to replicate this grand cross-country trip (the optimist in me thinks this might be our last time driving all the way across), but we planned to take a northern route. Funny thing about the north in early spring: It’s frozen. I’ve already axed the Yellowstone adventure and glamping in Montana. We’ll hit Seattle, Mount Rushmore, Chicago and hope we aren’t racing a late blizzard.

#3: Rental houses hibernate in the winter.

If you’re ever bored (or you’re just a premature house hunter, like me), take a peek at rental listings during the summer. Our future duty station currently has pages and pages of options within our housing allowance. I have serious concerns that we’ll be dealing with a skeleton crew when we start our search after the holidays. Maybe I’m wrong — I hope I’m wrong — but from my experience as a landlord, I know that pickings tend to be slim outside of the summer months.

#4: We mean it when we insist on no gifts for the holidays.

Oh, Grandma and Nana — and you too, Uncle K, with your tradition of gifting gigantic stuffed animals — the months leading up to a move are traditionally the purging months in this house. If I’m not running things to the dump or the donation bin, I’m probably hosting a yard sale in which everything must go. The last thing I need is one more thing to pack and unpack. What I won’t say no to are some things that could be helpful during the move — maybe a road trip game, a book, a movie, travel funding, etc. We are all in agreement that we want the kids to have a memorable holiday, and believe me, they will — we’re planning a trip instead of focusing on gifts. And, if that’s not enough, just wait until you see their faces light up as they unpack everything that’s been in storage for two years, “And you get a kitchen set. And you get a trampoline. How about a TV for the playroom?”

#5: “One [really] is the loneliest number.”

No one throws around Facebook “likes” like I do in the summer — moving boxes, moving trucks, PCS vacations, saying goodbye to old friends and embracing new friends. Like, like, love, sad face, like — I really get in the moving season spirit. But it’s bittersweet when you watch all the friends you’ve made at a duty station pack up and leave without you. We’ve already said goodbye to friends here, and there’s another wave coming just before the holidays. We’ll be holding down the fort here on the block all by ourselves for three months after our friends have moved on.

I’m pretty independent, so I’ll be OK (aside from missing them dearly, of course). But I think about my kids starting to lose their friends months before their move. That’s a long timeline of emotion for such tender hearts. I also think about how — even on the days we weren’t purposely spending time together — our neighbors and friends were just part of our lives here, and that even simple things, like checking the mail or taking out the garbage, will be a little different without them.

It’s not all bad

Like any other part of military life, we can’t change the fact that we may once (please) or twice (hopefully not) have to move off cycle. So, we can wallow in the unfortunate timing or dig through that packing paper for a silver lining. Some perks of moving off cycle, include:

All the gently used packing paper and boxes we can handle
Cooler temps on moving day (in theory, anyway)
Built-in child care on moving day (unless your kids happen to be on a school break)
Lower home prices (also in theory — homeowners that didn’t sell or rent their places in the summer may lower the price to entice buyers or renters)

I am sure when it’s all said and done, I’ll have a whole new blog to write about “what not to do during an off-cycle move,” but I’m going to roll with it for now and try to get my 5-year old to keep his enthusiasm for his month-long spring break at a minimum.

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Moving With Teenagers: It’s a Whole New Experience!

Posted by on June 28, 2016 at 21:28

Jun 282016

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Kelli

Before you say “been there done that” regarding a PCS move, note that all moves are not created equal. Each time you move, your family is a little older, a little more involved in your community and sometimes a little bigger. If you’re moving with teenagers, strap in; it’s a whole new experience!

Moving with small children was a challenge. It was more exhausting than I realized. As our family grew and we added babies and dogs, the logistics of a move became overwhelming at times. Now that my children are all into the preteen, teenager and “they think they are grownups” stages, I look back fondly on those early moves as being a piece of cake. What I didn’t take into account was TEENAGERS and all their emotions, feelings and independent thinking. How dare they start to grow up and become their own person! Throw out everything you think you know about moving when it comes to moving with teens.

I’m not sure when the shift happens, and it’s different with each child. But when it does and they suddenly become aware of what moving means on deeper levels, you have your work cut out for you. When the kids were little, we could say we’re moving, and you get a new house and a new room! We focused on the journey and all the fun things we would do in our new location. It was an exciting adventure for all.

Teenagers will not swallow that spoonful of sugar so easily. They are egocentric to begin with, it’s just the nature of being a teen; add to that a change in their whole world, and you could possibly have a melted pool of emotions at your feet bemoaning their fate. Preparation for a move takes on a whole new meaning.

In their defense, the teen years are fraught with emotions, hormones, weekly self-esteem crises and the ever-evolving social circle. It’s more like a social amoeba oozing through middle and high schools organizing and reorganizing best friends and social groups.

In parents’ defense, we really never know how our teen is going to react, so really I don’t know that there is any true preparation. It’s more like damage control after you announce the impending orders.

I have one son who was ready to move, or so he thought. He was relatively easygoing through the whole process — even helpful! I was shocked. He and I were the last to leave our duty station heading to our new home. Our family is so large we left in three shifts. You could say he and I were the rear detachment — finishing up the last few things like the packers and movers, cleaning the house, turning in the storage keys and being the last to kiss the town goodbye. Fast forward six months, and it dawns on this man child that he desperately needs to go back and live with someone there. I’ll give you 10 days to visit son-shine, but that won’t happen! His adjustment was a bit rocky and hard to watch. No one wants to see their children hurting, sad or feeling friendless. After about 18 months, he began settling in, finding his niche. Yes, I said EIGHTEEN MONTHS. (This is where you should feel sorry for me.)

On another move, one daughter literally melted onto the floor sobbing when her dad came home and announced orders. “I’m going to die!” “I’ll never make new friends!” “How will I go on?!”

Once we got Princess Dramatic up off the floor, the discussions began. They turned into negotiations of potential visits to ease the pain of leaving and then threats of finding a tower to put her in if she didn’t pull herself together. She not only made new friends, rather quickly I might add, but has yet to go back and visit. Life took over and she quickly adjusted. Who knew?

Here is my advice for moving with teenagers:

Education

For us this was a big one. I recommend you find a Military School Liaison Officer. NOW. Even if you are moving from one military community to another, you still need to know who to go to if the need arises. You’d be surprised at the “needs that arise.” If you have high school-age students, the officer can be instrumental in helping you navigate the required graduation credits from one state to another.

Emotions

All of a sudden these tiny children, who you could tell what to wear and lead by your example on how to feel about all of it, are suddenly independent and HAVE THEIR OWN IDEAS AND FEELINGS about the move. It can be exhausting. However, it’s so important you acknowledge their feelings and validate them. They have a right to feel the way they feel. It is also important you not get sucked into their feelings, but keep an eye on the big picture and help them navigate those emotions. Think of it as a chance to help them develop coping skills that will stay with them long after life with you and the military is behind them.

Social

Making new friends is not easy for everyone. I have some children who dive in and come home with a new best friend within the first week. I have others who have struggled to find their place. I wish I could tell you how to help manage that process, but I can’t. All you can do is be a soft place for them to land as they navigate the waters of teenage society, and guide them along the way.

These wonderful, difficult, fabulous children are blossoming before our very eyes into incredible adults. We are instrumental in that growth and development, and our role does not take a sabbatical during a move. Do your homework, use the resources provided to you through the installations and Military OneSource to be more fully prepared to help them through the adjustments that come with a move.

Most of all, look forward yourself with a glass-half-full attitude. If you do, you’ve already laid the ground work for an incredible new adventure for you and your family.

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Congratulations, You’re Still Homeowners

Posted by on May 23, 2016 at 11:18

May 232016

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Kristi

That sparkly American dream saw us coming from a mile away. My Marine and I got married, got orders and got right into homeownership in North Carolina in 2009. If you know anything about the housing market at that time, you’ll recall it was a “buyer’s market.”

With rock-bottom home prices, a new neighborhood popping up on every block and a VA home loan burning a hole in our pocket, we bought what we now only semi-affectionately call our “cookie-cutter” starter home — because it was the textbook 3-bedroom, 2-bath floorplan that looked just like the house next door…and the house across the street…and you get the picture. What could possibly go wrong?

If you’re reading this and thinking that I’m telling your story, then you know exactly what went wrong: We all had the same idea. When we received orders three years after signing our mortgage on the dotted line, selling our house was hardly a viable option. If — and that is the most hypothetical “if” I’ve ever tossed into the internet — we were able to sell our home in a timeframe that didn’t leave us strapped paying for housing in two places on one basic housing allowance, we were going to take a major financial loss on the deal.

Not fans of losing hard-earned cash, we opted to hang onto our house as an “income property” — I’ll get to the seemingly unnecessary quotation marks in a second — until the new construction calmed itself down and we stood a chance of at least breaking even on our investment.

Renting for beginners

Between the two of us, my husband and I knew only one thing about managing a rental property from thousands of miles away: We couldn’t do it on our own. Some military property owners can successfully manage property across state lines and time zones; let me take a minute to give you a slow clap because that is impressive. Instead, we hired a property management company to manage our house and our business — because that’s truly what it is, a business.

If you’re considering using a property management company, you should expect a reputable company to:

Advise you on price and lease terms
Advertise your property
Find renters and run credit and background checks before agreeing to lease to them
Serve as the liaison between you, the property owner, and your renters
Handle rent collection and deposit to the account you name
Take a cut — in the ballpark of 10 percent (in North Carolina, anyway)
Inspect your home on an annual, semi-annual, quarterly or monthly basis depending on your lease terms
Alert you to issues with your home that require your attention (and your cash), like broken appliances, leaks, etc.
Handle turnover to new tenants, including walk-throughs, deposits and readvertising
Communicate openly and respond promptly to your concerns

The absolute best way to find a good management company is to ask around for recommendations, but remember that it’s a big job. You’re putting a lot of trust in one company to care for your biggest investment, so get input from more than one person and check with the Better Business Bureau before you sign anything.

The anti-income property

You’ll recall those quotation marks around “income property” a few paragraphs ago. That was to indicate that our home brings us very little income. Currently, I’d say we make about $25 a month on our house. But, I did get an email that our garbage disposal cracked last week, so that will probably wipe out our “profit” from that last year — there I go with those quotes again.

For a while, I found this lack of extra income incredibly discouraging. Why wasn’t I looking more like the Monopoly guy? Perhaps we impulsively took Baltic Avenue under our wing with false hopes that it would magically transform to Park Place overnight. But, something adjusted my expectations in a big way.

Just before the holidays two years ago we found out that our perfect renters were breaking their lease six months early, penalty-free (thanks to their military clause — which you should absolutely use to your advantage every time). If you know anything about renting, you know that it’s typically easier to rent in the summer months, so smack-dab in the middle of the holidays is not ideal. Our house was empty for almost six months. For six months we drained the account dedicated to receiving rent and paying the mortgage — luckily we actually were profiting during their lease term or we would’ve been in serious hot water.

We were forced to lower the rent, and at that time we finally landed a qualified renter. It was when my husband and I were wrestling with whether or not to lower the rent to a cost that would no longer cover the mortgage payment that we concluded: Getting some of our payment covered was better than fronting all of it ourselves.

So, for almost a year we actually paid $25 each month to our mortgage payment in addition to the rent we collected, and only now that the rates have shifted for 2016 are we making a few adorable little dollars each month.

Why selling wasn’t for us

In the military community, we don’t have the luxury of hanging around until the house sells. When we have to go, we have to go. This was our primary reason for renting instead of selling. If we could’ve hung around a few more years updating and upgrading things, I might be telling a different story now. We hope that when our current renters move out in another year, we will be in a better position to sell. The uncertainty, the monthly gamble of it is not our idea of fun — or a lucrative side business.

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7 Things to Pack for Your Weight-Restricted Overseas PCS

Posted by on May 5, 2016 at 08:17

May 052016

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Melissa

I have so many friends who recently received orders for overseas duty stations. Some are headed to Europe and other exciting locales. But most people I know are headed to Japan, which is weight restricted for some branches of service as far as household goods are concerned. I won’t get into the nitty gritty of all of that, but usually folks are looking at being able to take 25 percent of their maximum allowable weight or in plain English, about 2,500-4.500 pounds of their “stuff.” If you want to get into the nitty gritty, check your spouse’s orders or visit Move.mil for the current weight allowance charts.

While only taking a fraction of your stuff may cause you to panic, remember that there is loaner furniture available to you during your tour. It will not be extravagant or Pinterest-worthy, but it’s furniture. A question I keep getting repeatedly is what folks should take to fill that maximum allowed. I am not going to tell you about taking the obvious stuff such as clothes, kitchen items, silverware, etc. Instead, here is my list of things I wish I had brought or was so glad that I did.

Items to consider:

Holiday decorations. I was soooooooo glad I brought one tote of Christmas items. It made the holidays feel more “real” to me having my familiar favorites. Also, I liked not having to fight the good fight over the last package of generic-colored ornament balls.
Hostess and serving pieces. I have no idea what I was thinking by not taking extra dishes, extra serving trays, party supplies etc. Being overseas is so much fun because everyone becomes your family, and that means you are always at someone’s home or your own having a big feast, especially at holidays. I am now back in America with double of all my hostess items since I couldn’t go 3 years without hosting people for dinner.
Home décor. I foolishly followed advice to leave all home décor at home. I wish I had brought a few framed art pieces or mirrors, a few throw pillows or SOMETHING that would have made our little bunker feel more like home without having to repurchase items once we got there. Please don’t bring your whole house full of décor, but a few neutral pieces that can work anywhere are advised.
Personal pictures. I took all of our photo albums to my parents to store while we were overseas. I wish I had taken at least one or two albums to peruse during our three-year tour. Call me cheesy, but I missed thumbing through our wedding album every year on our anniversary. I also wished I had pictures of our families.
Craft/hobby supplies. I am an avid sewist and wish I had brought tons more fabric. Yes, you can more than likely get craft supplies in your new location or you will be able to order them, but sometimes I just wish I had more of the basics already on hand. So if you have a specific hobby, consider bringing along extra of whatever it is you may use most.
Your bed. Yeah, yeah, I know I mentioned you will be given loaner furniture during your tour, but the government beds aren’t exactly dual pillow-top memory foam if you are catching what I am saying. So if a comfortable bed is important to you, pack it up and ship it over! No need to send the whole matching solid wood bedroom suite over. Just the mattress and rails. No all your furniture won’t match, but that’s part of the charm of overseas living.
Clothes for another climate. If you are going to Guam you may think you can ditch the winter coats and snow gear at home. But what happens if you go back to America during the winter and your family lives in Billings, Montana where there is likely snow on the ground. You don’t want to arrive in flip flops now do you? Many folks I know, took vacations up to snowy and cold Sapparo, Japan and needed their winter coats. So don’t take a whole wardrobe of winter gear, but a few outfits, just in case.

Remember, no matter what you take or leave behind, it isn’t forever. No one expects matching plates, silverware, home décor or furniture when you are living overseas. We all “get it,” so don’t stress it. Spend more time out their exploring your new home instead of worrying about what you left behind!

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12 Mistakes to Avoid When Getting Ready for Your PCS

Posted by on March 23, 2016 at 08:00

Mar 232016

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Kristi

Moving in the military is very much a learn-as-you-go process. Which, I have to admit, totally stinks because that means you’re basically gambling for success while using your stuff and your family’s comfort as collateral. Talk about high stakes — no pressure, right?

My first move as a military spouse was textbook disaster. A PCS was described to me (by my brand new husband) as a piece of cake. “People come in and do everything for you,” he said. “You don’t have to worry about a thing,” he said.

So, I headed off to a full day of teaching seventh graders without a care in the world. Long story short, we lost the deposit on our apartment for lack of cleaning — which, by the way, I will still contest as my expensive, custom bleach trays were lost forever, and I unpacked a trashcan full of trash in North Carolina. Those were just some of the highlights.

Lessons learned, right? I would never again be so trusting. The helicoptering, micromanaging mover was born. Our next PCS was with a dog…and a kid. So, obviously the challenges changed. Our stuff arrived accounted for and in one piece, but I was teetering on the brink of lunacy strategizing what toys and snacks to pack in the car. We ended up packing two full cars (and full is not an exaggeration). And I completely spaced on the logistics of pit stops with a dog. Obviously, we couldn’t all spend an afternoon experiencing a museum or taking an hour to venture into an actual restaurant instead of fast food because there was a dog in the car. And hotels — I learned an important lesson: pet-friendly hotels fill up quickly during PCS season.

Then there’s the most recent move. Things were broken. Things were lost forever. A half-eaten sandwich that we bought for our movers was packed in a box along with my office supplies — we found them when we unpacked a month later. I’ll never eat another roast beef sandwich as long as I live.

There are mistakes to make and lessons to learn, but, luckily, I’ve made enough PCS mistakes to teach us all a little something:

Never assume anyone cares about your stuff as much as you do. Movers work against the clock. They start rocking and rolling, and when quitting time rolls around, they’ve been known to roll anything in sight into the last box. Keep your eyes peeled for haphazard packing, and speak up for your stuff.
Always buy lunch and water for the movers. I used to feel like this was a matter of preference, but I’ve changed my mind. Failure to provide food and drinks can mean your heavy lifters take off for a 2-hour lunch. Your one-day job might just turn into a two-day job. That being said, offer to take their trash. That’s the best way to ensure that leftovers don’t move with you.
Always purge clutter and toys, books and clothes you’ve outgrown before the move. If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself why in the world we moved “blank,” I wouldn’t be writing this blog right now because I would be independently wealthy. If you don’t like something now, you won’t magically fall in love with it in a new place. Kick it to the curb — better yet, kick it to a donation bin.
Always isolate items that you plan to hand carry on the move. Hide your keys. Hide your purse. Hide your phone charger. Lock up the dog food. For any other suggestions, see a full list of items to hand carry. If you will need it, lock it up — no exceptions.
Always handle utility hookups and cutoffs in advance. Waiting until the last second could make you the lucky recipient of double utility payments, cancellation fees or a week without Internet at your new place (oh, the horror).
Always clean. Clean after the truck is loaded. Clean before the truck arrives. It might just save your deposit at point A and your health at point B.
Never wait for “them” to call you. It doesn’t matter if “them” means the moving company, your landlord or even the monitor while you wait for orders. Be proactive and be impressed with how efficiently stuff gets done.
Always factor travel expenses into your moving budget. Hotels, gas, airline tickets and food add up during a move. Sure, there’s an allowance, but don’t always count on getting that on the front end of the move. Make sure to save any receipts you’ll need as documentation for reimbursement.
Always scout out pet-friendly hotels on your route. Your fur babies can make it tough to stop for the night, so give yourself some options.
Never be so preoccupied by the destination that you forget the journey. Even the speediest of moves leave a little time for sightseeing. Break up your trip and see something new or someone you haven’t seen in a while.
Always use your network to learn about your new home. Get to know that friend of a friend of a friend at your new duty station. Blast private Facebook groups in your new area with questions. Word of mouth is a great way to learn about neighborhoods, schools, physicians, dentists, activities for the kids and more.
Always, always take pictures of damaged items. If you expect anyone to care about your dented ironing board or your whale statue that is now tail-less, take pictures before you trash them or glue them back together.

Yes, there’s always something to learn with each PCS, but my face-palm moments don’t have to only teach me. Hopefully you’ll walk away less likely to find a fuzzy sandwich while you unpack.

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Check It off the Bucket List Before You Move

Posted by on January 22, 2016 at 11:09

Jan 222016

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Kristi

It’s Saturday morning after the workweek that just wouldn’t quit, and you have a decision to make. Is it time to lay around and sip coffee in your favorite sweats while you catch up a week’s worth of prime-time TV? Or, is it time to get out and experience the little area where the military has plopped you for the time being?

A year ago, I would’ve been perfectly content to stick around the house all weekend, but something clicked for me recently — maybe it was turning thirty, maybe it wasn’t, but there’s no need to draw attention to that (or ever, ever mention it again).

The point is, I suddenly realized that life is short, and our time at each duty station is even shorter. The silver linings of mandatory relocation is getting to see different parts of the world that this girl from south Texas might never know of otherwise.

So my new philosophy is to do as the locals do and squeeze every ounce of experience I can out of each duty station. But, regular, everyday life does have to happen between once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and you’re finances have to be up for adventure too. Here is how I organize our installation bucket list:

Plan ahead

Obviously, coordinating the moving truck and housing is your first priority after receiving orders, but close behind should be your installation bucket list. It can be as formal or informal as you prefer — store it in the back of your mind or list it alphabetically and laminate it — your call. Just start talking up a list of must-do activities with your family, and start soon.

Give yourself some space

If I had my choice we would just all call in sick to work (and preschool) for three months and fly through our bucket list in one fell swoop. But that’s not really a viable option since we need cash to fund our fun. So, the admission tickets, hikes, road trips, etc. have to be spaced out over weekends, holidays and that blissful vacation time.

Spread the wealth

Chances are your installation bucket list has some free fun, like free outdoor activities (although, don’t be surprised if you encounter parking fees or park admission fees), activities that require a ticket, like museums, aquariums, and theme parks, and you probably even have a road trip or two in there, also.

My method is to space out the high-cost trips and fill the time between with cheaper experiences. To help you manage the big fun with the big price tag, be sure to:

Score your America the Beautiful national park pass with your military ID.
Check for tickets through Information, Tickets and Travel.
Rent any necessary equipment from your installation’s Morale, Welfare and Recreation Program. This will save you from dropping hundreds of dollars on ski equipment or camping supplies that you might not have on hand.
Make reservations at military lodging whenever possible.
Inquire about military discounts everywhere adventure takes you, including restaurants, hotels, museums, parks, theme parks and more.

Consult the calendar

Once you have a rough idea when you’ll head to the beach or hike up a mountain, it’s worth peeking at the calendar to make sure your plan makes sense. For example, if you hope to see roaring waterfalls in Yosemite, but you have a winter vacation penciled in, think again — those roaring waters are going to be frozen and parts of certain parks may even be closed seasonally. Think about what you want out of the experience, and make sure your timing allows for it. Also, take into account the peak seasons. A relaxing weekend on the Outer Banks of North Carolina is not so relaxing when every college and high school on the east coast is on spring break.

After six months of taking in panoramic views, visiting iconic places and living like a local — which currently means dropping everything to see a pod of whales or a purple sunset — I’ve never greeted a Monday morning wishing I would have just drawn the blinds and lounged around all weekend. Instead, I’m bombarding my Facebook friends with picture after picture of living life to the fullest.

It just takes a little planning on your part, and you may need to neglect your sweatpants and couch, but they’ll get over it because — well — they don’t have feelings. Don’t pack regrets the next time you move. Get out there and make some memories.

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Inside the White Walls of Base Housing

Posted by on September 3, 2015 at 14:11

Sep 032015

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It’s a strange hobby of mine to decode real estate listings. Could you imagine living in a world where base housing units were fluffed just like traditional listings? It might look something like this:

Kristi

This charming 1950s bungalow is available in a safe, family-friendly community. This blank canvas is full of potential and ready for your personal touches to make it feel like home. Some appliances and fixtures are updated, and anything that is not updated just adds to the character of the home — they don’t make them like this anymore. The walls have a fresh coat of paint (sometimes lots and lots of coats at no extra cost). Utilities, lawn and maintenance are included, and your monthly payment just happens to equal your housing allowance. This unit will move quickly — don’t miss this chance to call it home.*

*But in case you do miss this one, the one down the street, across the street and even right next door are exactly the same, give or take an updated appliance.

Let’s break it on down now, base housing style:

Charming – It’s small and quirky (creaks in the floor and doors that don’t close completely).
1950s bungalow – Get a count of bathrooms, electrical outlets and square footage before you sign anything.
Blank canvas – It has white walls — lots and lots of white walls — blah carpet and matching cabinets. I was surprised to learn that our local hardware store even has a specific shade of white paint named after our neighborhood. That is taking white paint to a whole new level. On the bright side, “blank canvas” also implies that it’s clean, which is more than I can say for some of our previous rentals.
Updated appliances and fixtures – Unless it says all of them, you’re either cooking on grandma’s stove or rinsing your toothbrush with water from the same faucet as the greatest generation. Your call on whether that’s a deal breaker or not.
Character – It’s old and quirky. Also, see charming.
Fresh coat of paint – This is typically a selling point, but in older base housing, you could be dealing with layers upon layers of paint (some of which could be lead — there’s a fun little guessing game). It can be thick and tacky, like an ugly holiday sweater, and has been known to peel off just by looking at it the wrong way.
Extras – Utilities are often included in full or in part, but it can vary in privatized base housing (even within one installation). That seems fair since your basic housing allowance is meant to cover the basic costs of living, like electricity and running water. Lawn and maintenance services vary from place to place too, and based on the management company, you could be waiting for a while. This happens in off-installation housing too, to be fair.

Kidding aside, I’m typing this from my beige couch (crammed with all four members of my family), in our base housing, white-on-white living room. We knew the drawbacks, but we frantically rushed (seriously, it was like the Black Friday of housing) to get our name on a waiting list, and then agonized for four months waiting to see if we “won” a house. It was like the worst lottery ever, minus the fact that we did eventually win.

Base housing is a new adventure for our family — technically not for my husband, since he lived in base housing as a kid and he called a few single service member housing options home before I enriched his life with draperies and scented candles.

Why we chose base housing (this time)

Glutton for punishment? No, base housing really was the best option for our family. We already own a house that, in theory, should be an income property, so we were hesitant to buy again. And rental properties near our current installation were few and far between. Many were just as old and small as our current base house, but at least we had the guarantee of a safe neighborhood in an unfamiliar place. Did I mention on base we could get a 3-bedroom place? After weeks of hotel stays, this mama was like, “Three cheers for walls.”

Here’s how we decided on base housing:

Safe, strictly military community — great for kids, jogging and making new friends
Short commute — for my husband and, eventually, for our son who starts kindergarten next year (I will not cry…I will not cry…hold it together, Kristi.)
No utility costs
Better floor plan than we could’ve afforded in the civilian community
Clean at move-in — apparently not always
A yard — hard to come by in some areas
Comfortable renting sight unseen

Should you choose base housing?

It might not be for everyone. We dramatically lowered our expectations. Our townhouse is basically the inspiration for the real estate blurb up top (you might have guessed). But, you know what — we’ve made it home for now. I’ve covered as much of the white walls and dorm room-esque cabinets as possible without actually painting. It’s small, and depending on the humidity, the bedroom doors don’t close, but it’s only temporary.

We wanted to make the most of this duty station, and that means leaving here with no regrets. We want to say that we saw everything we wanted to see and experienced everything we wanted to experience in our short stay here. Those memories will last longer than those of “that really cool house we lived in that one time that was so expensive that we couldn’t afford to do anything but live in it.”

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Maddie’s Answer: Settling in to Your New Duty Station

Posted by Blog Brigade on July 27, 2015 at 13:08

Jul 272015

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Dear Maddie,

We recently PCSed after 3 years at our last duty station where we had a great circle of friends. We currently do not have children and I am finding it difficult to make friends. I feel like all the moms think that I don’t want to be friends with them because we don’t have children ourselves and that just isn’t true. How do I crack the code and make friends here?

Kara

Dear Kara,

I have been on both sides of this equation, so I understand completely where you are coming from. And kids or not, it is hard to make friends after a move, especially if you have a great, established circle of friends back at your old duty station. Moms may seem like they have the advantage with the bus stop chatter, play groups and sports teams, but sometimes moms want friends outside of their kids’ circle. I think the standard rules of making friends apply whenever you move. Regardless of your kid status, you will also build up a great network of friends at your new installation with a little bit of elbow grease and some old school methods. Just like dating, you need to find an activity or hobby you are interested in and pursue it in your new community. Obviously solo, anti-social activities do not apply, but let’s be real, you can even make a love of reading books into a social activity with book clubs. If you are racking your brain trying to figure out a hobby, then consider the old cliché of volunteering in the meantime. It’s cliché because it works. I have yet to leave a volunteer activity without at least one new friend. It may take a few attempts before you hit it off with someone and other times you may hit it off with someone immediately. Not sure where to start? Consider a program on your installation (where volunteers are always needed) or a passion in your local community (dog walkers at your community pet shelter anyone?). There you will find like-minded people and it will already lay the groundwork for a friendship. Also, why not put yourself out there? If you are a foodie and dying to check out a new restaurant, post in a spouse group on social media to see if others want to plan a meet up. Same thing goes with a movie you want to see or activity you want to check out. Of course it goes without saying to use caution when meeting people for the first time, so make sure it’s a public place and let others know your plans for the day. I believe your friend circle will soon be growing regardless of the “mom status” of you or your new friends!

Dear Maddie,

We just got to our new duty station and to sum it up, I hate it. How do I survive the time we have left here?

Brandee

Dear Brandee,

I know you want to pack your bags and head out of town and tell your spouse you will see them on the flip side, but put the suitcase down. Most spouses have been in your shoes and have lived to tell the tale! I promise I am not going to sit here and tell you that you will learn to love it, or ask what is wrong with you. I firmly believe that it is OK to not like where you live. We are all meant to thrive in different parts of the world. However, I will tell you to bloom where you are planted. That phrase used to be nails on a chalkboard to me, so I modified it to fit my situation. Sure. I will bloom where I am planted, but only short, sustainable roots that can easily be picked up and moved to another location to thrive.” I made the choice to power on by finding the good things about our new location. I also had to psych myself up with daily positive affirmations about the benefits of living in that particular place. Literally, I would publicly share on my Facebook page something positive. It was a bit of a mind trick and it got me through. I got really involved in social activities and volunteering and before I knew it I had some of the best friends I had ever met and suddenly our time was up! I was sad to leave! Sad! Can you believe it? Not so much because of the duty station itself, but because of the friends we made. Since you mentioned that you just got to your new home, might I suggest my rule of thumb? I make sure not to make a decision on a duty station before we have lived there six months. That gives me enough time to experience a few season changes, get to know my way around, and get settled. If at the end of the six months I still don’t like it, I allow myself to be OK with that, but still find ways to thrive. I am willing to bet you too will find the positive in your new place and grow your roots to fit your situation. Best wishes!

♥

Maddie

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How to Be a Good Landlord in the Military

Posted by on June 26, 2015 at 12:30

Jun 262015

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Even after renting from landlords and being a landlord, I still have this completely cliché picture of what a landlord does. I just can’t seem to let go of this fictional image of a guy in overalls with a utility belt, who comes to the rescue at 3 a.m. when the kitchen faucet springs a leak or the toilet overflows.

Kristi

This is not only false, but just downright comical — I mean, who wears overalls at 3 a.m.? And while we’re clearing up landlord myths, is “landlord” not a widely used term anymore? My spell check is insisting that the right term is “property owner.” Agree to disagree, squiggly blue line.

My husband and I became landlords when we couldn’t sell our little starter home in North Carolina. Our first move was to hire a property manager. What was our reasoning? Simple, we have:

No knowledge of drafting contracts
No knowledge of real estate (aside from buying a house once)
No time to learn either of the above
Little to no time to research repairmen, painters and carpet cleaners
Thousands of miles and a handful of time zones between our rental property and our current home

Right about now you’re either raising your hands to the sky, thanking the universe that someone gets the need for property managers, or you’re rolling your eyes and elbowing the person closest to you to announce disagreement with our decision to hire a property manager.

Well, you say “potato” and I say “potato.” OK, so some things don’t translate well to print, but you get it. There are two very strong sides to the property manager versus no property manager debate. Neither side is in the right, neither is crazy…or wrong…or misinformed. It’s gray, not black and white.

Heated debate aside, you can be an awful landlord with or without a property manager. And you can also be a really fantastic landlord either way.

What makes a good military landlord?

Trustworthy military family seeks a three bedroom, two-bath home with a yard and a good landlord.

Communicate well.

If you’re doing a walk-through next week, tell your tenant. If your tenant calls three times and leaves three voice mails, something is probably up. Don’t wait three days to call back.

Fix things when they’re broken.

We once moved into a house with all kinds of problems. We picked our battles: rusty dishwasher baskets. After two months of waiting, I was expecting a delivery any day. Instead I got a text message saying our landlord had some unexpected car expenses, so the dishwasher baskets had to wait. Say what, now?

We’ve also dealt with:

Humming toilets
Rotten exterior walls
A play set that looked like a death trap
A kitchen faucet held together with tape
A front-loading washing machine that I can only assume was used in a mildew-growing science experiment
Dead, thorny vines covering our patio
A water heater that flooded our garage
An air conditioner that just blew around hot Texas air
Light fixtures that don’t light on one side
Carpet covered in holes and stains
Carpet with puddles and stale laundry smell after a flood — this was especially fun two weeks before our move out. Instead of checking for damage or mold, our landlord simply hoped the rain would end soon.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, girl, that’s your fault for not telling your landlord.” We were upfront, open, honest and punctual with all updates. Unfortunately, we can’t control how our landlord reacts to that information.

Don’t complain about a tight budget.

Back to the dishwasher debacle of 2012 — if I’m paying full basic allowance for housing to live in your house, please don’t tell me you can’t front the money to fix a situation. Landlords have to just make it work — we’re all working with BAH and unexpected expenses. As someone who has a middleman (aka property manager), if our dishwasher had rusty baskets, the baskets would be fixed ASAP, and it would’ve come out of our monthly check. You’re in charge of someone else’s quality of life; don’t take it lightly.

Understand the definitions of “turnover” and “normal wear and tear.”

When we moved into our current rental, we picked up our keys from the previous renters on their way out. There was obviously no final walk-through, let alone cleaning of any kind. Sure, the worn-out carpet was steamed, but that was like putting a bandage on a broken bone — it did nothing.

Take time for turnover — clean, fix, touch up and update. If you can’t see your property in person between renters because you’re stationed out of state, get your property manager, neighbor or friend to share pictures of the house.

Recognize time zones.

If your renter is calling you at 4 a.m. your time, it’s probably a big deal. You should probably answer it. If you’re a landlord texting at 11 p.m. in your renter’s time zone, it better be important.

Be professional.

The neighbor — who just happens to be the landlord’s buddy — is not a neutral, third-party individual capable of performing a final walk-through.

Recognize inconvenience. Our current landlord is trying to sell the house after we leave. This creates a triangle of chaos between the renter, landlord and realtor. It’s not ideal for any party, but I might argue that the renter is the most inconvenienced. The renter reaps no benefit from the sale. The renter is the one getting kicked out of their house (sometimes with 15-minutes notice…with kids…and work).

I’ve heard rumors of landlords who discount rent or drop gift cards in the mail as an incentive to cooperate during the home-sale process. It doesn’t have to be a huge monetary gesture — just a little something to say, “Hey, I know this is a pain in the you-know-what, but thanks for cooperating.” And, if you’re lucky enough to have cooperative renters, don’t take advantage of a good relationship.

Let renters “live” in the house. I’m a control freak, so this is hard to say: landlords have to let go. Even though it isn’t home forever, renters need to feel at home for a while. You don’t have to cave on everything, just keep an open mind about paint colors, pets, landscaping.

The whole landlord-renter relationship is weird isn’t it? Technically, renters are houseguests in a landlord’s home, but renters pay landlords. So — landlords work for their houseguests? Maybe this is a golden rule scenario: Just treat everybody the way you want to be treated. And the same goes for how to treat a house.

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