Budget and Save – Teaching Children to Love Those Two Words

Learning to budget and save — two words I wish weren’t so painful for me to hear. As a consequence, I have struggled to pass those two talents on to many of my children. I have, over the years, tried different methods. All of which worked for a little while, but eventually failed, mainly

because I didn’t keep up my end of maintaining whatever program I had started. You can apply this to chore charts, grade charts, reading charts and just about anything that has the word chart in it.

What it comes down to is the iron will to say no and watch your sweet fabulous angel crumple or melt into a pool of despondency right in front of you, and often the entire human race in whatever store you are in.

I didn’t always have this iron will. Especially in the middle of a deployment when it seemed it would never end, nothing was going right and I just wanted my husband, so I might possibly have been out for some retail therapy myself.

Pulling me back into a good place financially hasn’t always been easy, or consistent, but I am making headway. Here are some lessons learned:

• Do talk about it. You don’t have to reveal every little penny you make, but helping your children under the cost of just living in a home and having food might help them put into perspective why they can’t have $150 shoes that month.
• Do explain why you might make $10 an hour at the after school job, but after taxes, gas money, lunch money and any other applicable donations they really can’t afford to fork out $150 right away to buy those shoes themselves.
• Do lay out a spending plan, budget for just them and a savings plan. Setting $25 a month aside to buy those ridiculous — I mean fabulous — shoes will go a long way to teaching them the value of a dollar earned and a dollar spent.
• Don’t belittle what they value, you know, like I just did. Let them figure out if saving for 6 months for a pair of shoes is really worth it. Best case scenario, they do buy them and then discover all that self-discipline wasn’t well spent because what they liked six months ago has changed. Now they have a pair of ridiculous shoes they don’t even really like, instead they really wanted a new lacrosse stick or baseball bat.
• Do let them make poor financial decisions and let them feel those consequences. It’s hard, but better they squander a small amount today and learn a valuable lesson than have to learn it with a few babies in the house. Then everyone moves in with you and that’s just a mess.
• Don’t bail them out because you know how much they want something, you love them and want them to be happy. If you love them, let them suffer now and avoid the scenario I just told you about.
• Don’t say yes to a prize or treat every time you go to the store. We set up even our youngest angels for heartbreak when one day we really can’t buy them something. They need to learn that no or not now doesn’t mean I don’t love you; it means I love you and you need to learn to wait, save and know you are more than what you can buy.
• Do help even your tiniest little spender save up enough to buy something attainable and then celebrate and make a big deal when they finally have enough to go to the store and get that $5 item. You’ll have to help them “earn,” that money as I’m pretty sure it’s still frowned on to let six-year-olds get jobs.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is an understanding of saving, the satisfaction of finally purchasing that great (fill in the blank) and the satisfaction that not only did they earn it, but they own all of it free and clear.

Debt is one of the top stressors in our families. If you are like me and need a little extra help getting your own life right with your checkbook and savings account, take the time to reach out to the resources on your installation and through Military OneSource that can help you do just that.

Savings happens just one penny at a time and together you and your children can both learn how to make that happen.