Separation/Deployment – Page 2

Guest Blog | #MyMilFam Service Is a Choice

Posted by Guest Blogger on November 24, 2014 at 12:33

Nov 242014

BlogBrigade-Service-is-a-Choice-Posts-November2014

Guest Blogger: Claudia Chavez

If there’s a quality about military families that I want the country to internalize, it is our strength. We hear frequently about the sacrifices of military life — and there is no denying we make them. But I fear that sets up the idea that we are struggling.

Let’s be clear — there is no draft. Military life is our choice. It was my husband’s dream. Neither of us came from military families. Their lack of understanding – and often their fear – fed our determination. We are high school sweethearts and we married one year after my husband enlisted. He serves as a Gunnery Sergeant, who missed the birth of our twins when he was ordered to serve a one-year tour in Camp Fuji, Japan in 2002. Even though I was surrounded by family, it was a lonely and difficult time for me because I needed my husband, but no one ever knew that. I had a high risk pregnancy with a condition that dictated that my babies Bailey and Giani needed to be delivered early. They weighed barely four pounds. Giani suffered a lung collapse and was transferred to a hospital away from his brother. I shuttled between hospitals – keeping my husband updated via email and Red Cross message. They’re now nearly young men at the age of 11 and they have a seven year-old brother. As our boys have grown, my husband has deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, and is currently deployed to Kuwait. Of course, we miss his presence, but we are conscious to never leave him out of life at home.

We use our iPhones and iCloud account to share pictures with each other. We have an album titled “Family”. We snap pictures of happy milestones and upload them to the album. Everyone gets a notification through the family sharing network and everyone has the ability to comment or like the pictures. For example, Giani recently took pictures of all of his school exams with scores of 100% to show his dad. When my husband woke up the next day, he saw the pictures and told my son how proud he was. Also, yesterday my youngest son, Rey, came home with a paragraph he wrote in school about his hero and it happened to be about his dad. I snapped a photo, uploaded it to the album, and my husband saw it when he woke up. Little opportunities like these keep us strong and unite us while he is gone.

Deployments are not easy to endure, but they’ve given my boys an independence and strength I’m not sure they would have developed in civilian life. All of the boys demonstrate personal responsibility and they are my biggest supporters as I continue my college journey. The boys are always asking me if I need help with anything — they don’t need to be reminded of chores — the twins protect my youngest son and look after him. The love they have for each other is incredible.

Military life has not only made my boys strong minded, they are more open minded, too. Their exposure to other cultures and the uncommon things in life causes them to think about greater possibilities for themselves and others. Military families think a good deal about extending themselves to each other and to society at large. We have been richly blessed with this life and I want young military families – especially those who have no prior military history – to recognize the opportunities that await them, especially the opportunity to develop strong family bonds.

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Guest Blog: Staying Healthy When Your Spouse Is Deployed

Posted by Guest Blogger on April 25, 2014 at 14:36

Apr 252014

GuestBlogger-Rochel_HealthyDeployment

Rochel

Blogger Biography: Rochel is an active, creative recent college graduate and mom to two wonderful kids. She stays active running (literally) around her wonderful neighborhood and in local races with her friends, the Half-Momathoners (just for fun). She allows the creative juices to flow baking with her kids, being crafty and doing photography. The accomplishment of graduating college was a dream come true and she looks forward to a career in health and wellness. She has been a military wife for 17 years to an amazing husband. He is currently serving in Afghanistan.

As I write this, there is the chatter of my son and his friends playing a board game just 50 feet away, while my daughter and her friend record a mock news report on the computer. I pause and think of the words health and wellness and how important they are to me in my life right now.

We are at the beginning of a six-month deployment; my husband is away in Afghanistan. Health and wellness are not only a personal priority, but are necessary to get me going in the morning and a gentle reminder of how to successfully balance the upcoming months. Like many military families, this is a common story line, so I do not make my life out to be epic or unique, but rather to embrace this life and give a virtual hug to those balancing a similar situation. I do not have any magic tricks either (although I’d love to learn one for doing the laundry), but I feel comfortable in sharing what works in our life.

First, stay active. Moving somehow, someway, everyday… even if it’s dancing while vacuuming or throwing the football around outside with friends. For me, running is my therapy. I run by myself and with a group of friends, and even on the harshest days, I know I will feel better afterward, so I get dressed in my gear and head out the door. Being active also means making good choices about what you put into your body. It takes a little more effort to actively choose the healthier foods, but it is so worth it in the end.

Second, get involved. Getting involved in your community can be such a rewarding feeling. This is not something I have been very good about, but I am now looking for opportunities that will allow my children to feel a connection to people outside their usual interactions. We recently participated in Fanquest- a program that cheers on Special Olympics athletes. We did not know any of the players, and yet my kids cheered like it was the Super Bowl. The wonderful feelings from that night lingered for days.

Third, find something good in your day. When you mull on the things that went wrong in the day, you will easily feel overwhelmed, and that mental frustration can affect your physical well-being. Instead of asking my kids, “How was school?” I ask “Tell me three good things that happened at school today.” The answers are more active and mindful, usually generating more conversation.

Regardless of where you may currently stand in your own health and wellness, you have the opportunity to make better and more mindful choices for you and your family. Be glad in the life you live and rejoice and appreciate the fact that you have the capability to be active in your health and wellness.

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Guest Blog: Daddy’s Homecoming

Posted by Guest Blogger on January 29, 2014 at 17:46

Jan 292014

BlogBrigade_Megan-DaddysHomecoming

Blogger Biography: After almost 1½ years of separation, Megan’s family is together again. She and her National Guard husband “surprised” their daughter with his homecoming, and it was the most magical experience she has ever had!

My husband left for his deployment training last summer (June 2012) when our daughter was only 18 months old. We were worried she wouldn’t remember him, so we made sure to have pictures everywhere, plenty of books and lots of videos. We were very blessed that Kyle was able to call and video chat with us fairly often. I used all resources possible to help our family stay connected during this long separation. Military OneSource has multiple books and a Sesame Street short film about deployments and homecomings. Our daughter could still probably recite the entire film!

When we started getting ready for Kyle’s return, we read the “Home Again” book that was given to us by Military OneSource every night and talked about what it was going to be like when Daddy came home. At almost 3 years old, she would sometimes tell me she was excited or nervous to see Daddy again. Other times she would tell me she was mad that Daddy was coming home because she didn’t want to share her mommy or her home. We talked about how all of her feelings were OK and normal (if you couldn’t tell, she is a pretty bright little girl!).

The day Kyle came home, we were both anxious about our daughter’s reaction. She could have been overjoyed, shy or mad. We couldn’t predict how she would react. I had to pick Kyle up between 4 and 5 a.m. so our daughter stayed with friends the night before. We hired a photographer to take pictures that evening when they would see each other again for the first time in many months. Our daughter stayed with a friend all day so we could catch up and rest before our very excited toddler saw her Daddy! She knew the plan and what was happening because I didn’t think she was quite old enough to understand a surprise. I told her, “Daddy is coming home today. You are going to spend the day with your friend and then we are going to take pictures. While we are taking pictures, Daddy is going to come see you.” So she knew what was happening and was very anxious, but she didn’t quite know what to expect. Again, we were worried that she would be scared or upset, but we were hoping for a positive reunion.

After about 20 minutes of pictures, we told Kyle to come over to where our daughter could see him. The comic relief in this anxious experience was that at about the time we told Kyle to come over, a forever-long train came and he was on the other side!! Our daughter was reading her “Home Again” book and telling the photographer about Daddy coming home right about the time he came walking around the corner of the train station. At first she had an “I can’t believe it” face. When Kyle kept walking toward her, she just screamed over and over, “My Daddy! My Daddy!” as she ran and jumped into his arms. It was a better reaction that any of us could have anticipated. For about two weeks after he came home, she wouldn’t let him out of arm’s reach. Many nights he would have to stay in her room until she fell asleep because she was so worried he wouldn’t be there when she woke up!

GuestBlogger-Megan

As magical as the reunion was, after almost three months, the new has started to wear off for her, and she is back into her toddler tantrums full force! She is trying to find her new place in our family because she truly only remembers a life as a family of two. So there are good days and bad, but of course we wouldn’t change it. Through the separation, I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) want to imagine how difficult it would have been had we not been blessed with the friends, family and military community that banded together to help us, as well as the Military OneSource resources that helped our little girl wrap her mind around the experience that our whole family went through. Deployments are hard and homecomings are scary, but we were able to help our toddler through it because of the books, videos and people who were there to support us through the journey.

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Surviving a Crisis Alone

Posted by on December 13, 2013 at 16:08

Dec 132013

Kristi_SurvivingACrisisAlone

Kristi

Is there really any other way to face a crisis as a military spouse? We all know – whether from experience or urban legend – that things do not break or get lost while our service members are home, creepy crawlies never invade the house if we have reinforcements and natural disasters never pose a threat until we are “Sitting duck, party of one.”

The legend of the deployment curse basically guarantees that some sort of crisis will rear its ugly head while you are all by your lonesome – whether it’s during a 48-hour training exercise or a 12-month deployment. So, by the time my husband’s second deployment rolled around, I was prepared…or so I thought. This time I wasn’t just dealing with a dead car battery or a kitchen full of sugar ants; instead, I got the wrath of Hurricane Irene.

Should I stay or should I go?

My deployed husband begged me to pack up and head inland. Having grown up on the Gulf Coast, I assured him that he was too far removed from the situation and that the news was making it a bigger deal than it really was. I knew how to prepare for hurricanes, and riding out the storm in the comfort of our home sounded much more appealing than battling evacuation traffic and a cramped hotel with an infant. I was watching weather and evacuation updates around the clock and talking over plans with neighbors and friends, and just a couple days before Irene made landfall, I made the call; my son and I and our two dogs were staying put.

Going it “alone”

The next 48 hours I spent preparing for the storm. I did what I knew to be important from my experience; I hauled anything that could become airborne, including a huge doghouse, storage bench, lawn furniture, trashcans, garden hoses and a grill into the garage…alone. Most of these objects were bigger than me, but never underestimate the strength of a determined woman.

The night before Irene made landfall, this stubborn woman was reminded that no one in the military community truly faces anything “alone.” As I was preparing the inside of my house for the storm by lowering the temperatures of the refrigerator and freezer, doing a few loads of laundry, pulling out some candles, flashlights, and puzzles, and making doubly sure my son had enough baby food in case we lost power, my neighbors knocked on my door. Knowing that my husband was deployed, they offered to help me do everything I’d already done before they evacuated. Even though their offer was a moot point, I finally relaxed for the first time in a week. I realized that even though I felt like I was facing Irene alone, I wasn’t. I felt so much pressure to protect our son, our dogs and our home that I was overlooking all of the support right in front of me.

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The aftermath

When the storm eventually passed, the damage was obvious. I suddenly wasn’t as brave without the safety of boarded windows – that I was accustomed to during storms like this – and I remember staring out our dining room window just watching the pine trees bend to the point of breaking only to stand up straight again at the last possible second. I felt so vulnerable in our home that I abandoned my cozy bed to sleep – or, more accurately, lie awake all night – on the floor of my son’s room.

The morning after the storm, I walked the neighborhood to check on my friend since phones were dead and power was out. I saw things that took my breath away. Trees were snapped in half, uprooted and siding and shingles were missing from almost every house except for ours. We probably shouldn’t have been in one piece, but miraculously we were perfectly fine.

And the days that followed were almost worse than the mere hours of the storm. We spent days without power. It was hot, the food was spoiling, we cleaned up debris (with help, of course) and business was slowly returning to normal, but nearly the entire area was still facing a blackout. Once again, I was floored by the support of fellow military spouses. My good friend and I took turns driving around to charge our phones and enjoy brief moments of air conditioning. All around town, other military families who already had electricity restored opened their doors – and their hot showers – to other families who needed some relief from “camping” in their homes. It wasn’t until I was holding my cranky son – who was donning only a diaper at this point on account of the balmy 90-degree temperature inside our house – eating food on the brink of spoiling from the fridge for the sole purpose of not wasting it and sweating so badly my son nearly slipped off of my lap that I realized how ridiculous this situation was. If I had it to do all over again, I would’ve evacuated; I think most other families who remember that week would agree with me.

We were all alone during Irene, and because of that, strangely, we were all in it together. And that may be my favorite thing about this military life. It doesn’t matter whether we face natural disasters, dead car batteries, bats trapped in patio umbrellas, rodents in the garage, illness or even childbirth while our spouses are away; we have support ready and waiting. We are a resourceful and strong family that I am so proud to be a part of.

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Guest Blog: The Other Side of Deployment

Posted by Guest Blogger on October 31, 2013 at 16:24

Oct 312013

The Other Side of Deployment, by Randall

Blogger Biography: Randall is an Army wife whose husband was just recently deployed. She started a personal blog as a way to get her feelings out.

Waking up everyday, I never know if it is going to be a good day or a bad day. When your husband is away, the nights go by extremely slowly. Sometimes the smallest thing can send you over the edge. When he first leaves, everyone tends to be a little overwhelming. Texting to check on you, inviting you over, etc. And then after a while the texts and phone calls start to dwindle and you begin to see who will truly stand by you through one of the hardest experiences anyone can go through. Sometimes people will surprise you. Those you don’t expect to hear from contact you when you really need it. And those you thought would be there…

I find myself being overly emotional about things having nothing to do with my situation or missing my husband. Then during situations I would have bet I would lose it, I am able to hold it together. One thing I haven’t yet talked about is the fact that I am a singer. Every year I am a performer at our local Summerfest. This year I wanted to do a tribute to the troops and my husband. I decided to sing “God Bless America” after speaking about my husband being deployed. My mom thought for sure I would lose it. Surprisingly, I was able to hold myself together. Although I could not look at any of my family or friends while singing, I was able to make it through.

Not too long ago was the anniversary of September 11th. It started off as a bad day because I woke up with a migraine. The rest of the day was just blah. I couldn’t explain it, but I just wasn’t in a good mood and it was rough. I knew I could not watch any footage on the television or I would lose it. So instead, I immersed myself with work and then choir practice at church. Coming home I watched television and was an emotional basket case. But I realized the next day was Thursday, which meant I would get to talk to my hubby. When that phone call came, my mood totally changed. He said he had a rough couple of days, which might have explained the funk I had been in as well. It is like I can tell when something is off with him. It’s good to know that although he is halfway around the world, we are still in sync. He sounded so excited to talk to me. I couldn’t help but smile! So with that, I will end my evening and begin the countdown to next Thursday!

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Guest Blog: Taking Charge as Mrs. Fix It

Posted by Guest Blogger on August 16, 2013 at 12:00

Aug 162013

Blogger Biography: After a very long hiatus from the military (let’s just say more than 10 years), Shannon’s husband re-enlisted and they began their first journey as a military family for this time. With two homeschooled kids, a slightly insane border collie mix puppy, a penchant for skiing and homesickness for Texas, military life has proven to be an adventure so far!

When my husband was away at training to re-enter the military after a double-digit year hiatus, I kept a journal with letters to him and the stories that unfolded managing two kids and a very big house with no help. Those were some of the longest months of my life.

Dear Babe:

You know the various building shows that the boy likes? Well, I’m living that now. All the things that didn’t break or need to be fixed before you left have decided to break as soon as I no longer had a live-in handyman.

Can we fix it? YES WE CAN! I am now a cross between Handy Manny and Bob the Builder, except I have a cute purse instead of a tool belt. And heels instead of work boots, but those kind of suck to climb ladders with.

Love, Me

—

When my husband headed out for several months, he tried to make sure everything was set so that I wouldn’t have any major things to do around the house other than organizing and packing for our eventual move. We have a guy to take care of the pool, a sweet friend offered to cut our lawn and another friend, a mechanic, promised to be over at the first sign of any car issues. In theory, everything should have gone along just swimmingly until he returned home.

But in the process of taking care of everything major, we did forget about a few minor details. One of the garage door openers went out. I managed to pry it open with a knife, not cut off any fingers and replace the battery after a trip to the store where my kids h h had to play a fun game of “Match the little flat battery to the ones on display.” We had light bulbs go out, which I managed to change without electrocuting myself or shattering bulbs on the tile floors. I’ve managed to get the garbage out weekly, water the lawn and gardens, and pay the bills—basically all of “husband jobs” around the house without any major mishaps. I’ve even built things with the kids for the fun of it.

And then the noise started. BEEP.

At first, it was intermittent. One beep here, one beep there. Here a beep, there a beep…Then suddenly, everywhere a beep, beep!

Oh yes, it was one of the many, many, many smoke and carbon monoxide detectors sprinkled throughout our home. And when one is beeping, it seems like the number of possibilities are infinite. With a bit of help from my daughter, Faith, I narrowed it down to the two systems right outside my bedroom door. This was both good and bad. They weren’t located on one of the ridiculously high vaulted ceilings in Faith’s second floor bedroom, but they were still located on a ceiling that I couldn’t reach by standing on a regular chair. And the beeps were really hard to ignore, considering I had to sleep in that room, so the batteries had to be changed as soon as possible.

I puzzled over this for a bit, then decided to bring in the ladder from the garage. Again, I enlisted the help of my daughter, who announced that since the ladder had cobwebs on the bottom, she wouldn’t touch it, but she’d hold the door for me instead. I set the ladder up, kicked off my heels and climbed up. (What, did you think I’m crazy enough to climb a ladder in heels?) I stood with my head between the smoke alarm and carbon monoxide detector and BEEP! I nearly fell off the darn ladder because it was really, really loud up there. However, I was no closer to narrowing it down to one of the two devices, although I was now several steps closer to deaf.

Faith fetched me the last nine-volt battery in the house, and since I couldn’t figure it out, I changed out the smoke alarm first. All clear, and BEEP! OK, it’s not that one. I took out the new battery, put back in the old battery and changed the battery in the carbon monoxide detector. I started to climb down the ladder, and BEEP! So, I switched it again. BEEP! And again. BEEP! I pressed the reset button. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! For the love of God, why won’t this noise stop???

At this point, with only 25 percent of my original hearing left, I decided that it must be both devices and I needed another battery. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! We didn’t have any. BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! I found my heels, grabbed my kids (BEEP, BEEP, BEEP), got in the car (where there were finally no beeps) and drove to the store. I bought the extra-large jumbo pack of nine-volt batteries that cost more than a week’s worth of groceries and headed back home where I was once again greeted by BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! I set the ladder back up, kicked off my heels once more, climbed up and switched out the batteries in both devices, all while losing another 10 percent of my hearing.

Then, all of a sudden, blessed silence. There were no beeps here. There were no beeps there. There were no beeps anywhere. The house was actually quiet. And, by this point, it’s not like I had enough hearing left to really care if there were any other noises, just as long as there were no beeps.

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Guest Blog: 24 Things You May Find Yourself Doing While Your Spouse is Deployed

Posted by Guest Blogger on July 30, 2013 at 07:00

Jul 302013

San Diego Military Wife

Blogger Biography: “San Diego Military Wife” is a Navy wife and mother of two great kids. She writes about her life as a military wife and keeps families informed of deals and events for military families in the San Diego and Camp Pendleton area.

I recently read an article that had a list of 24 things you’ll do as a new parent. It got me thinking about all the things military spouses do while our husbands are deployed. Some women have never had to do some of the things we do without blinking an eye.

Here are 24 things you may find yourself doing as a military spouse (at least these are some of the things I’ve been through):

1. House hunt, pack up a house and move into a new house by yourself.
2. Plan out the landscaping for the back yard of the house that you just moved into, hire and then supervise a bunch of guys to work on your backyard.
3. Move furniture.
4. Be hospitalized with a life-threatening case of meningitis while your spouse is in the middle of the ocean with no way to come home.
5. Take the garbage to the curb every week.
6. Snake a toilet—gross!
7. Fix pipes.
8. Make all financial decisions.
9. Try to explain to a five-year-old why daddy is in another country helping other people even though we need help at home.
10. Paint walls.
11. Hang pictures.
12. Stay up until 2 a.m. so that you can email with your spouse since he is in a different time zone.
13. Prepare to move to another country and then find out two weeks before the move that you are actually staying where you have lived your whole life.
14. Have your phone within a few feet of you for the entire deployment just in case your service member calls.
15. Pick up dog poop.
16. Find out you are pregnant three days after your husband leaves for deployment and telling him through email.
17. Fly the red eye while pregnant and with a one-year-old to be with your sick father-in-law.
18. Deal with your spouse’s family.
19. Document every moment of your life, so that you can email him pictures (Yes, I have a video of my daughter’s first poopoo in the potty).
20. Fix a fence.
21. Mow the lawn.
22. Make sure your kids have fun while your husband is gone, but not too much fun that they will look back and realize that daddy wasn’t there.
23. Jumpstart a car.
24. Be the one who gets up in the middle of the night when you hear a noise.

The most important thing you will do as a military spouse is find out just how strong and capable you really are. We are some of the strongest women in America.

What are some of the crazy things you have had to do as a military spouse?

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Guest Blog: Reconnecting Post-Deployment

Posted by Guest Blogger on May 23, 2013 at 15:48

May 232013

Jessica

Blogger Biography: Born and raised in Phoenix, Jessica moved to New York City for college, where not only did she discover her love of magazines, food and travel, but she also met her Army husband. As they move across the country, and hopefully around the world together, she is working on her graduate degree, honing her cooking skills and making their home together.

When my husband returned from deployment, it was pure joy. But we’ve both had to give and get from each other to make sure that living together still goes well. Things have definitely changed in our lives since before deployment, so figuring out new schedules and chores can cause some bumps in the road. Here are some things we’ve been doing to ease those bad days and make them all good:

Reevaluate the budget. Oh man, we went a bit crazy upon his return. First of all, it was Christmas, so we bought awesome presents and mailed them all off. Then we went on a vacation, which was much needed. We also made some impulse buys (well, not entirely impulsive since we’d thought of buying them for a while) like a couch for extra seating in our living room. And there was figuring out what we both needed and wanted to eat. Buying food for one is cheaper than for two, that’s for sure! So we finally sat down and looked at everything. Our bills. Our spending. Our money coming in. And we hashed out a plan. We had done this pre-deployment, so I could keep track of everything, but not after. I wish we’d done it a little sooner, but we didn’t do it super late either. Now we have a clear plan, and that is a good thing!

Chores. There are things that we both do not like doing. Mine include taking out the trash and hand washing the dishes. His include hand washing the dishes and vacuuming. Instead of just saying, “Hey I’ll do the dishes now, you do them tomorrow,” we both let them sit there instead. Or let stuff pile up. I’ll admit that I’m busy with school, work and having a social life, so sometimes things like cleaning get pushed aside. But when we would clean for a dinner party, we loved how clean it was! So we started being more straightforward about expectations. Like, I put things in the dishwasher as soon as possible and would like if he’d do the same. He’d like me to hand wash stuff more. We both need to wipe down messes while cooking more quickly. It’s a work in progress, but we’re balancing the chores well I think.

Sleeping. I got used to sleeping in the bed alone—tossing and turning as I pleased, but that’s not so great when we’re both in bed. Compound that with the fact that I get home late from class and he waits up for me, meaning he doesn’t get a ton of sleep before waking up early for physical training. So we are working on going to bed earlier when we can—the nights that I don’t have class and weekends when we can.

Time management. This is more me than him, but figuring out when I should be reading, doing homework, working from home, having girls nights and spending time with James. It’s a lot but I’m making it work.

Spending time together…and apart. After a few weeks of half days followed by block leave, I was ready for my husband to go back to work. Sound kinda mean? Well I don’t mean it that way. It’s healthy to have time together and apart, and having spent more than three weeks constantly together, I needed some space. Space provided by work, school and time with our friends. I love spending quality time together, going on dates, sitting on the couch and watching TV, but I also love that we both have our own things: he goes and sees horror movies with the guys, and I go grab a glass of wine or coffee with friends; it’s nice to have those moments in order to stay sane and not drive each other nuts.

As time goes on, we are getting better and better at this. We’re also remembering how important it is to have nights to ourselves when we just sit and laugh watching a movie at home. Or take a day trip and explore the area that we are currently calling home. All of this is really helping us reconnect and live better together.

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Guest Blog: Man’s Best Friend: Devotion and Deployment

Posted by Guest Blogger on May 20, 2013 at 14:44

May 202013

Blogger Biography: Cheryle is a 10-year military spouse who has lived away from her husband longer than they’ve been under the same roof. Now that they are transitioning into the retirement stage, a whole new adventure has begun. There will soon be more time to spend at the lake, with their three children and their first grandchild. Retirement doesn’t mean you leave the military family behind because once you are a part of the military family, you are always family. Her husband’s military civilian job will keep them close to the family long after retirement.

Dogs are often referred to as “man’s best friend.” In our home, our dog’s best friend is a man…actually, two men—my son and my husband. Our border collie, named Ginger, came into our family as a gift for my son in a rather unique way.

In the very beginning of our marriage, my husband and I lived 1,200 miles apart until my children could graduate from high school. It was hard enough being separated, but let’s face it, it was just plain hard keeping an eye on what trouble my husband could get into. One afternoon he received a call from a neighbor regarding an unhealthy stray dog, and my big-hearted husband volunteered to try and bring the dog back to good health. He was so happy when this dog gained weight; only to find out later, she was pregnant! That Thanksgiving we had three new puppies on our hands. See what I mean? You leave him alone for a minute and you never know what can happen. Luckily, sometimes his mischief can be a blessing.

We easily found homes for two of the adorable puppies, and I decided to give the third one to my son. We drove 1,200 miles with a new puppy in our truck (which was quite an experience) to deliver this cute little surprise to my son. The bond that has formed between them is very heartwarming.

Due to her fierce loyalty to my son, I had no clue Ginger even knew my husband existed. I guess when my son went off to college, her affection went to the next male in the household (even though I am the one who bathed, brushed, played catch and walked her…go figure). We weren’t even aware that she had formed this attachment until my husband deployed to Afghanistan. When he walked through the door one year after he departed, I thought Ginger would have a heart attack. Her tail wagged so fast and she was SO excited; she did not calm down for hours.

I had not realized the affect my husband’s deployment had on this devoted dog. It isn’t just children, a spouse, parents and friends that have to deal with the deployment of a loved one. Your family pet can be affected as well. Now, every time he leaves for a business trip, the dogs think he will be gone forever. I find it is best to give them extra treats and play time when he’s gone to ease the separation anxiety.

There are many symptoms pets can show if they are having separation anxiety, and if they are too severe, you might want to seek a veterinarian’s advice. Below are just a few tips that may help.

Symptoms of separation anxiety in dogs: pacing, following you around wherever you go, trying to escape the house or yard (ours love this trick), excessive barking and destruction, and even going potty in the house.
Possible cures for anxiety: Punishment is never the answer for separation anxiety. Leave a piece of clothing that has your scent on it, give them lots of exercise, leave a radio on and leave appealing dog toys.
Symptoms of separation anxiety in cats: eating too fast, excessive grooming and going potty outside the litter box (some choose the parent’s bed to send a message).
Possible cures for anxiety: use puzzle feeders to entertain them, put up a cat tree and provide extra play time each day.

My husband’s deployment was over six years ago, and yet, every day when my husband walks through the front door after being gone only eight hours at work, Ginger wags her tail as fast as the day he returned from Afghanistan and gives him a cute howl of excitement that makes us all smile. Our “man’s best friend” has a man for a best friend.

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Guest Blog: Deployment Coffee

Posted by Guest Blogger on April 4, 2013 at 16:00

Apr 042013

Christina

Blogger Biography: Christina is a proud war bride, military “dependent,” writer and volunteer. She met her husband while working two jobs to pay her student loans and stay afloat. He stuck with her despite the long and crazy hours away from each other and so began her experience with the military. Scrapping the wedding for a long and dangerous deployment, she fully embraced being a military spouse. Christina reaches out to all available networks to learn and take advantage of what the military has to offer its family. Learning the ropes is tough, but she knows she has help.

There is always one thing I consistently do when my husband deploys or goes TDY. I would like to say it’s get a massage or a facial, but I just never find the time or budget for those things.

What does fit in my budget and what I can sneak a few moments for is coffee. Forever ago, I found one specific flavor from a specific brand that I just could not get enough of. For years I could only find it during the holidays and then it was gone! I refused to open the last package for everyday use. Coffee is coffee to my husband. (His fishing or car stuff is another matter entirely.) For me, this coffee is like his special stuff. He just laughs at me when I try to explain it.

It’s even more special because when I finally found it he was deployed. I would come home to a dark, cold house and turn on the coffee pot for just a cup or two. That gave me enough time to change out of my work clothes or uniform and into yoga pants, a sweatshirt and some fuzzy socks. I would turn up the heat and get dinner started. If it was just me, I enjoyed the coffee while cooking. If the house was abuzz with activity, I saved it for when beds were tucked and guests had taken their leave. I would settle on the couch and listen to some music or just collapse into the nearest chair for a few minutes of peace.

I would indulge in the smell of the coffee as it wafted up from the cup in white curls, savoring each taste as it rolled over my tongue, absorbing the warmth of the cup in both hands before returning to life, laundry, cleaning, bills or returning missed phone calls. When I found it, I couldn’t help but send a happy little email to my husband. After that, every time we talked or emailed until he came home, he would ask if I had my special coffee as a clue to how my day went.

Now it’s one of our little jokes. Since I can get it fairly regularly, I only buy a few boxes, which stay hidden in the pantry waiting for the next deployment or TDY. And they only come out then. Once he even came back with two special mugs for my “Deployment Coffee.”

What is the special thing you do for yourself during a deployment or TDY?

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