Give it Back: A Lesson in Paying it Forward

Somewhere around four years and three states ago, my son lost that breathtaking excitement a child gets out of something as simple as a cardboard box. Maybe all the moving has desensitized him to cardboard, who knows? At age 2, my daughter still has it. She gasped so long after opening a care package from her Nana and Papa that I had to remind her to take a breath, and this was before she even knew what was wrapped up in the packing paper.

As their mom, I knew it was on me to deliver an attitude adjustment (or, in my daughter’s case, bad attitude prevention). Teaching graciousness, thankfulness and respect is my job and my husband’s job. It’s definitely not the job of a cartoon character or a teacher (trust me, teachers’ plates are full without adding this to the lesson plan). So, last holiday season I decided to take action against:

• Tantrums brought on by the word, “no”
• Stand-offs because I gave my kid the red straw when he was clearly (silently, in his own head) envisioning sipping his milk through the blue straw
• Whining
• Complaints of boredom
• Complaints that all of our toys are boring
• The sense of entitlement
• Selfishness
• Dinnertime protests against anything unprocessed or covered in cheese

Not-so-random acts of kindness

My plan was to get the kids involved in giving back. For 25 days, we worked together to help others, give instead of receive and make our community an all-around better place for everyone. Every day, for 25 days, the kids opened an envelope to find their act of kindness mission for the day. Here’s what we did:

1. Hold the door open for 10 people.
2. Hide five $1 bills around store shelves for shoppers to find.
3. Leave stamps in the stamp machine at the post office.
4. Donate supplies to the animal shelter.
5. Send cookies to work with daddy.
6. Donate change to the Salvation Army.
7. Drop off lunch for firefighters.
8. Pay the tab for the car behind us at the drive-thru.
9. Donate canned goods to a holiday food drive.
10. Mail letters to loved ones.
11. Donate stuffed animals to the police station to comfort children in traumatic situations.
12. Take cookies to hard-working teachers before their holiday break.
13. Clean up trash around the neighborhood. For safety, the kids wore gloves, and anything especially gross was mommy’s job to clean up.
14. Deliver flowers to a nursing home, and ask that they be given to the resident who most needs them.
15. Compliment three people.
16. Donate clothes, toys and books we’ve outgrown.
17. Mail a care package to a service member spending the holidays overseas.
18. Leave money with a parking lot attendant at the airport to cover the fees for the next driver. (I initially wanted to do this at the hospital parking garage, but the parking was free. I figured stressed holiday travelers could use a little kindness too. The attendant was so excited to be a part of this act of kindness that you would’ve thought I’d given her a check for a million dollars!)
19. Give Santa a present at the mall — the kids drew him pictures.
20. Leave a stack of pennies next to a fountain with a note that says, “For wishes.”
21. Deliver breakfast or coffee to the gate guards.
22. Drop off crayons and coloring books to a hospital waiting room.
23. Leave bus fare on bus benches around town.
24. Pack and deliver chemo care packages to the cancer center.
25. Donate a toy to Toys For Tots.

Some of these will be back this holiday season, but I’ve been busily brainstorming a few new ideas to throw in the mix:

1. Corral shopping carts left around a parking lot.
2. Deliver holiday treats to our neighbors.
3. Cheer on runners at a race.
4. Please and thank you day — say them all day when you ask for something or receive something.
5. Plant a tree.
6. Leave homemade bookmarks with kind messages inside books at the library.
7. Let someone go ahead of us in line.
8. Donate school supplies — pencils and paper aren’t usually on anyone’s mind after August, but those supplies run out, and teachers often dip into their own pockets to provide for their students.
9. Clean up a neighborhood park.

Make it work for your family

My kids are pretty young, so, for now, the acts of kindness are fairly simple with lots of parent involvement (which I didn’t mind because even grown-ups need reminders once in a while). If you have older kids, you might find success in volunteering time or giving your teenagers the reins to come up with ideas of their own.

This is a tradition that I absolutely fell in love with last year, and I can’t wait to get started on the acts of kindness this holiday season. However small, my kids are making a difference and they’re seeing the value in that. These gestures can turn someone’s crummy day around (even our own). They can offer a little hope in a hopeless situation. They offer thanks to someone in an otherwise thankless job. They can cause a chain reaction of kindness. A little kindness goes a long way, and that’s a lesson worth teaching at any age.