January 2016 – Blog Brigade

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Kelli

Setting goals is a yearly occurrence for me. Failing to reach goals is also a yearly occurrence for me. So it’s no surprise as the New Year approached and people talked about their New Year’s goals that I died a little inside; nothing like feeling like a failure before actually failing. I have reviewed my past history in detail and introspectively examined my short comings and weaknesses. That was fun. I ditched the data and decided, “What the heck — let’s give goal setting another try,” but this year I adjusted a bit.

Don’t take on everything.

The years I’ve decided to lose weight, spend less money, learn to knit, be nicer to my family, save money, volunteer more, read a book a month, cook from scratch and run the Marine Corps Marathon have not gone well. I can tell you the marathon, learning to knit and being nicer fell off the wagon by the end of January. This year, I’ve consolidated, kept them general and have not mentioned specifics in the overall goal statement. I call them my triple F goal: food, fitness and finances. So when people ask if I have set goals, I whip out my three Fs and move on without further explanation. OH, and I HAVE NOT posted them on social media. I can’t think of a better way to set myself up for failure than to announce I’m getting fit on social media. There’s always that one friend that posts a less-than-encouraging comment come the Fourth of July photo album where I’m not in a bikini.

Involve everyone.

There is nothing worse than trying to improve your life and having a bunch of people who are supposed to be your support network doing just the opposite. As a consequence my husband and I found something we could both do together, and because the children living in our home ARE LIVING IN OUR HOME, they are coming along for the ride. It’s not going to hurt them to each work on the three Fs, modified for age of course. Having everyone on board, at least for now, is setting me up to hopefully make it a little further this year towards my goals!

Set milestones.

Reaching a mini goal is more attainable, reasonable and motivating than saying you want to lose 30 pounds. In fact, we don’t even speak in pounds in this house. The mentality is getting fit. For me, as a grandmother of three, mother of six, full-time employee and closer to death than I was yesterday, my milestone is going to look very different than my 11-, 13- and 16-year-old sons. My milestone may be a commitment to walking three days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes. My 16 year old’s milestone might be beating his personal record in a 5K. Nowhere in my goal this year is the term 5K. I literally have to walk before I run.

Celebrate those milestones!

I’m not sure what that will look like for us this year. I want my family to have input there, as well. I don’t mean huge expensive celebrations, but something to recognize our effort. I’m thinking if we make it through the first week we need to commemorate it somehow. NOT WITH CAKE!

Be realistic.

My goals used to be all over the place, sometimes even contradicting each other. I made sure this year my goals complemented each other. Food and fitness is a no brainer. The finance comes in because I looked at our budget, and the amount of money we spend on convenience food was staggering. Even though my actual grocery bill is going to go up, the savings in the long run will be significant. If that is my focus and I happen to go down a pant size and have more energy, well that’s just a bonus and reward for being disciplined and making time to start cooking again. Surprise! You have to go clothes shopping in three months! (Oh the things that motivate us.) And this brings me to my last little nugget of hard-learned wisdom.

Don’t compare your goals to someone else.

I have the most amazing friends. One in particular can cook anything, anytime with any ingredients in her kitchen, and it will always be delicious. She has always done this and sometimes on a budget that is so unbelievable. I’m not talking a big budget; I’m talking a dollar amount that doesn’t even rate being called a budget. So my goal of just cooking again and not eating out looks ridiculous next to how she lives, but I’m not her, and I will never obtain any goal if I look outside myself. We are all unique in our talents and our challenges. Make your friends a source of support and a valuable resource. If I start to lose my stride and want to drive through a window to feed my family, then a quick text to my talented friend yields a simple, yet delicious recipe on my phone I can prepare.

Life happens, be flexible.

Somewhere in the middle of the year you may have to manage your expectation of what success looks like. Hear me now, THAT IS OKAY. After all, we adapt and overcome on a regular basis and life is about meeting it head on, not dictating the way ahead.

Finally, at the very heart of reaching your goal is the reason for making that goal to begin with. Don’t forget what it was. Post it, review it and refer to it often. My reasons walk through the front door every afternoon and evening. Set it and get it. Bring it on, New Year!

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Kristi

It’s Saturday morning after the workweek that just wouldn’t quit, and you have a decision to make. Is it time to lay around and sip coffee in your favorite sweats while you catch up a week’s worth of prime-time TV? Or, is it time to get out and experience the little area where the military has plopped you for the time being?

A year ago, I would’ve been perfectly content to stick around the house all weekend, but something clicked for me recently — maybe it was turning thirty, maybe it wasn’t, but there’s no need to draw attention to that (or ever, ever mention it again).

The point is, I suddenly realized that life is short, and our time at each duty station is even shorter. The silver linings of mandatory relocation is getting to see different parts of the world that this girl from south Texas might never know of otherwise.

So my new philosophy is to do as the locals do and squeeze every ounce of experience I can out of each duty station. But, regular, everyday life does have to happen between once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and you’re finances have to be up for adventure too. Here is how I organize our installation bucket list:

Plan ahead

Obviously, coordinating the moving truck and housing is your first priority after receiving orders, but close behind should be your installation bucket list. It can be as formal or informal as you prefer — store it in the back of your mind or list it alphabetically and laminate it — your call. Just start talking up a list of must-do activities with your family, and start soon.

Give yourself some space

If I had my choice we would just all call in sick to work (and preschool) for three months and fly through our bucket list in one fell swoop. But that’s not really a viable option since we need cash to fund our fun. So, the admission tickets, hikes, road trips, etc. have to be spaced out over weekends, holidays and that blissful vacation time.

Spread the wealth

Chances are your installation bucket list has some free fun, like free outdoor activities (although, don’t be surprised if you encounter parking fees or park admission fees), activities that require a ticket, like museums, aquariums, and theme parks, and you probably even have a road trip or two in there, also.

My method is to space out the high-cost trips and fill the time between with cheaper experiences. To help you manage the big fun with the big price tag, be sure to:

Score your America the Beautiful national park pass with your military ID.
Check for tickets through Information, Tickets and Travel.
Rent any necessary equipment from your installation’s Morale, Welfare and Recreation Program. This will save you from dropping hundreds of dollars on ski equipment or camping supplies that you might not have on hand.
Make reservations at military lodging whenever possible.
Inquire about military discounts everywhere adventure takes you, including restaurants, hotels, museums, parks, theme parks and more.

Consult the calendar

Once you have a rough idea when you’ll head to the beach or hike up a mountain, it’s worth peeking at the calendar to make sure your plan makes sense. For example, if you hope to see roaring waterfalls in Yosemite, but you have a winter vacation penciled in, think again — those roaring waters are going to be frozen and parts of certain parks may even be closed seasonally. Think about what you want out of the experience, and make sure your timing allows for it. Also, take into account the peak seasons. A relaxing weekend on the Outer Banks of North Carolina is not so relaxing when every college and high school on the east coast is on spring break.

After six months of taking in panoramic views, visiting iconic places and living like a local — which currently means dropping everything to see a pod of whales or a purple sunset — I’ve never greeted a Monday morning wishing I would have just drawn the blinds and lounged around all weekend. Instead, I’m bombarding my Facebook friends with picture after picture of living life to the fullest.

It just takes a little planning on your part, and you may need to neglect your sweatpants and couch, but they’ll get over it because — well — they don’t have feelings. Don’t pack regrets the next time you move. Get out there and make some memories.

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Dani

Like many military families, my family is on a budget. I’ll be the first to admit that we aren’t always the best at consistently setting our monthly budget, but we’ve learned through trial and error that the months when we actually sit down together to get all the dollars accounted for, we follow it really well. There are a few key points to this that help us stay on track. With the new year also comes new savings goals, and I’m ready to plan some upcoming vacation days!

Set monthly budget meetings. My husband and I set aside a day at the end of each month to discuss the following month’s budget. We look at our income and expenses, discuss any out of the ordinary or upcoming purchases and create a realistic budget that works for our family of three. The key takeaway here: together. We do this together so there are no surprises to either of us.

In your relationship, there is likely to be one of you who is more of a saver and one who is more a spender. Use these characteristics to your advantage to help balance each other. For example, in my marriage, I’m the spender. When my husband sets the budget, he often sets it too low for what it actually costs, whereas I always like to set it so we have a little “cushion” money in case of an unexpected expense. When this happens, we compromise and choose a number right in the middle. Or, in some cases, we’ll budget lower for one thing but a bit higher for another thing. As long as we’ve set time aside to sit down and do this together, we’re always able to come to some sort of an agreement to start the new month with a solid plan.

Categorize your budget. This totally seems like it belongs in a Budgeting 101 lesson, but sometimes we all need a little reminder. Categorize your upcoming expenses into separate sections to keep your budget organized. The same categories generally occur each month, so doing this makes it much easier to keep up with your budget.

Categorizing works a little differently for everyone. Some people set very broad categories and work well with that, such as housing, utilities, food, transportation, medical/health, recreation, personal, savings, etc. These are the categories my family uses. But because they are too broad for us, we break them down even further. Our housing category has sections for our mortgage, lawn care and home projects. Our food category has sections for groceries, lunch money, dog food and eating out. Our recreation category has sections for date nights, family events and spending money. And our personal category has sections for haircuts, birthday gifts and child care. We also keep a much needed “miscellaneous” category for those unexpected expenses that pop up during the month, like a copay at the doctor’s office or a trip to the drugstore. You can break your categories down as small as they need to be to work for your family.

Make it fun. Unless you’re a numbers guru, budgeting and finances can be pretty boring. I like to liven it up a bit by keeping all of our information in a colorful binder with a bold label on the side so it can’t be misplaced. If you use page dividers to break up your system by month, get some patterned ones or use different colored pens to write out each month on the tabs. It can be colorful, classy and a little more fun!

Do you follow a cash budget? If your wallet has become old and dingy, treat yourself to a new wallet for a great pick-me-up. You can even budget that expense in your personal category. If you budget in spreadsheets, add a colored header and switch up the fonts a bit for a fresher look.

Money talk isn’t acceptable in all social circles, but when it comes to budgeting, we can all benefit from sharing what works and what doesn’t. If you’re really stuck, consider attending a personal budgeting or finance class in your area to set you off on the right foot. Military OneSource also offers free financial counseling for service members and their families — something to take advantage of if you’re looking for help with budgeting, money management, debt consolidation and debt management.

Cheers to a brightly-budgeted year of successful savings, friends!

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Blog Brigade

How to Make New Year’s Goals More Obtainable

Check It off the Bucket List Before You Move

Budgeting With Dollars and Sense