Military families can face a mix of emotions and uncertainty when a parent or spouse is deployed. Experts from the Military Health System address concerns family members can face before, during and after these long separations, and what resources are available for them.

Dr. Mark Bates, associate director for psychological health promotion at the Deployment Health Clinical Center, said that while deployments can be a significant stressor, they are also an opportunity to learn and grow stronger.

“Most military families are very resilient through a deployment,” said Bates. “Yes, it’s tough, but they can return to the same level of functioning, or even stronger, [after a deployment]. These deployments are opportunities to learn about how much you value your relationships, to enhance your communication skills and to model that for your children.”

Before a deployment, family members may feel anxiety, sadness or withdrawal as the separation moves closer. Often times, family members feel they have less control than the person being deployed and need to cope with and adjust to a variety of changes.

“Let [children] know what to expect in advance, keep a regular schedule as much as possible and use family time and rituals that keep the family connected,” said Bates. “That can go a long way in helping the children keep a sense of normalcy and control.”

Advance preparation is also a key to success, said Bates. Families should create a family care plan that includes how financial commitments will be met, ways to keep communicate openly and frequently among family members, and caregiver options and resources available if needed. Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury’s (DCoE) Real Warriors Campaign provides resources that summarize common issues that arise during deployment and how to deal with them. Military families also have access to a wide range of resources, ranging from child care to financial help to counseling, through their service branches, communities and online.

Air Force Maj. David Klein, chief of adolescent medicine at Fort Belvoir Community Hospital in northern Virginia and assistant professor of family medicine and pediatrics at Uniformed Services University of Health Sciences in Bethesda, Maryland, encourages parents to tell a physician about a deployment in the family.

“It allows the physician to identify strategies to help mitigate risk,” said Klein. A clinician is also able to provide information about additional resources.

When a loved one returns, families can go through what is called the ‘honeymoon period,’ said Bates. Families are often then left figuring out family roles again. In addition, they may struggle to understand what the service member has experienced and how to manage psychological, physical or emotional wounds – not just the service member’s but their own as well. This can lead to tension, heightened family dysfunction or distress.

Staying connected, especially with people who have or are going through similar experiences, is important, said Bates. The DCoE Military children Connect (MKC) is a web-based program that supports military children of different ages. It also has resources for parents and caregivers as well as teachers, including sections about PTSD, TBI, physical injury and grief and loss.

“There are plenty of simple interventions that can boost positive outcomes, […] boost resiliency and foster community connections,” said Klein, adding that there is a wide range of resources available to help military families.

For more information on services, tools and advice available to military families dealing with deployments, please visit Military OneSource, Real Warriors or Military Kids Connect.