Air Force veteran John Sharpe sustained a severe traumatic brain injury (TBI) in 1990, when he fell asleep behind the wheel of his truck and ran into a tree. He was in a coma for more than 40 days.

More than 25 years later, John is a TBI advocate who works at the Department of Veterans Affairs as a liaison to help patients get the care they need. He has a daughter and son, ages 13 and 11.

To commemorate Military Children’s Health month, we asked John how he talks with his kids about brain injuries and how others like him can communicate with their family members. John will share his story in an upcoming video for A Head for the Future, a brain injury awareness initiative from the Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center.

How did you first explain what a TBI is to your kids?

I talked to them about it when they were around 8 and 9 years old. I softened my language so they would understand. I took an egg and shook it, and compared the yolk to my brain when my car collided with the tree.

Do you have any lingering symptoms that you specifically warned them about?

I have challenges with my short-term memory and time awareness. Sometimes, I can’t tell when five minutes go by or when five hours go by. I let them know those challenges are just part of what I deal with on a daily basis.

I also explained the frustrations I experienced while recovering, but I taught them the importance of taking those negative experiences and putting a positive spin on them. That’s what helps me wake up every day and help veterans.

How should service members or veterans who experienced TBI talk to their kids?

I’ve come across a lot of service members and veterans who are in that situation. The more you can open up and talk about it — and approach coping with symptoms as a normal process — the easier it is for kids to understand. By talking to my kids, I help them see me as their father, not someone with a problem.

The first couple times might be difficult; if you keep at it, your children will eventually understand.

Download the DVBIC “Talking With Children About TBI” booklet to learn more. Visit the A Head for the Future website to watch videos of TBI champions like John and their stories of recovery and hope.