Dark Living in the Lymelight
“The world we have made as a result of the level of thinking we’ve done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level at which we created them.” -- Albert Einstein The downward spiral started after Julie’s mother died. It was hard to tell what was grief and mourning, and what should have been a clear warning that something big was really wrong. Part of the problem was that she was so capable. So smart. So technologically adept. So artistic. So beautiful. So sexy. So wise. She was happily married to a poet who could cheerfully live his poet’s life without being distracted by practical considerations. She just took care of everything. She was her high-‐end Design firm’s “Chief Empath” -‐-‐ the person who could work through the toughest, trickiest clients. She was much beloved by her family, her work colleagues and her wide circle of friends. In addition to a high-‐powered career, she had a very smart and very popular blog where she documented ongoing efforts and research to maintain her health and weight after losing more than 100 pounds more than five years earlier. It was, as she noted, a blog where she shared freely and “thought out loud” about health issues. She’d been a runner, a swimmer and a gourmet chef. She’d done Pilates, weight-‐training and belly-‐dancing. She was selling nothing, but sharing wonderful insight. Newspapers talked about syndicating her blog in a column. She was a prodigious reader and knitter. She lived her life to the fullest, and wasn’t shy about sharing. As the “fog” came in, Julie kept thinking that it was something to do with grief or early menopause, or . . . something she could study and work on with discipline and resolve, and move on. But nothing seemed to fit or work well anymore in her life. In the period between October 2007 and January 2010, she sought help from multiple doctors, an acupuncture professional and the NIH for a wide variety of problems: a blood clot in her left leg, migraine headaches, swelling joints, hearing loss, heart palpitations, soy allergies, chest pains, insomnia, palpitations, deep vein thrombosis, pelvic pain, cognitive difficulties, painful joints. She had numerous tests, none of which was conclusive. Usually doctors told her there was nothing to worry about, or there was nothing they could do. Every second opinion contradicted the first opinion, and the third opinion sent her in another direction altogether. She no longer knew what was a side effect of medication and what was a new symptom. Her blog entries slowed....