Hillary Clinton's Head and 9 Other Cyber Monday Gift Ideas You Must Buy Immediately
1973 Cessna 177B, $55,000 
Via Craigslist
People like to throw around that statistic that more people die in cars than planes to shame you for your fear of flying. Now you can just murmur "prove it" and casually toss them the keys to your fucking Cessna. The one you bought on Craigslist.
"Picaso inspired" [sic] Horse and Boy Painting, $500
Via Craigslist
If you've ever wondered how best to display your NAMBLA membership without giving your bestiality hobby short shrift, look no further than this 4.5-foot-tall oil painting of two innocent pals -- one of whom is a naked boy. The other is his horse. Who needs decorative gourds and jumbo candy canes when you've got this? It's basically Guernica.
Mary Tretter "Catch me if you can" Doll, $10
Via Craigslist
"Stevie" is just one of a collector's doll series that features small children acting like tiny assholes. Place this li'l devil in the recipient's bathroom while he or she is sleeping for a surprise the whole family will love! They're only asking $10 for this thing?!
Child's Painting Depicting Battle Between Child With Parasol and Sentient Coat Rack, $25 
Pinky Guest
You know what's lame? Fuckin' homemade-ass gifts from kids. It's like, make me an ATV or something, kid. Or, Christ, at least get me a G-D sandwich and a cold one. You wanna really mess with your kid's head? Get him or her some other kid's painting for Christmas. See how they like that shit. Jerks. This particular painting, one that features what looks to be a young girl taunting a coat rack with a parasol, is currently fetching $25 at Green Village.
Manifestation Painting, $600
Via Craigslist
It's time we finally recognized how woefully underrepresented the reptile sex community is in contemporary art. This subtle tribute, going for a cool 600 bones on Craigslist, is a long-overdue step in the right direction.
See also:
How to Shop for the Holidays at a Porn Convention
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