by Recovering ATR
You know how sometimes it seems as if 99% of your problems whittle down to two students? That's the case this year with a Terrible Twosome that I'll call Johnny and Bobby, for the sake of anonymity. On the surface, Johnny and Bobby are very similar in personality and behavior. They're streetwise, and probably could be very successful if they ever directed their energies towards something positive. As it stands now, they spend all their time being disrespectful, racist bullies. Johnny and Bobby have made racist, sexist remarks in class all year long, they both are awesome liars, and their very presence unnerves the other students. And to be honest, they were unnerving me as well.
Yesterday was a particularly bad day for the Terrible Twosome. Bobby's mother actually came to the school insisting that I had said something I hadn't said. I showed Bobby's mother a letter Bobby had written me apologizing for his rude, disrespectful behavior in class and Bobby's mother looked embarrassed but started with a litany of excuses about why Bobby would make such comments. I also told his mother that once in class Bobby had begged for some candy because he said he was hungry, and I gave him a tangerine, and he had two bites, said "Ew it's squishy!" and threw it away. Bobby's mother laughed in delight. "Bobby hates squishy food, he's always been a picky eater," she said. She went on that he was an "angel." I tried to stifle my laughter. I quickly saw that calling Bobby's mother for bad behavior was going to be useless, as she was a total enabler.
Bobby knows this too. "You can't do anything to me," he once taunted. "My mom is not going to do anything, she loves me and gives me everything I want and tells me to be myself." Since Christmas he's been showing off his new cell phone, ipod touch, clothes, and other goodies bought from Mom.
Johnny, on the other hand, I dragged into my AP's office yesterday where I forced him to give me a working number for his home, since the number listed on ARIS was a number to a senior citizens' home. Johnny made up a whole bunch of more lies about me to the AP, screamed and yelled for about 20 minutes, before finally giving me the numbers. "I never get in trouble," he said.
Ten minutes later I was on the phone with Johnny's mother. "Oh boy," she said, like she already knew. I started with the usual euphemisms: "Johnny is a real leader, and he has a lot of positive qualities ..." before recounting the various ways in which Johnny was using his leadership qualities to cause mayhem. "We'll straighten this out right away," the mother said, her voice already sounding angry. "This is unacceptable and this is not the first phone call I've gotten from teachers, you will see a new Johnny tomorrow," she finished.
Today both Johnny and Bobby came to class. Johnny looked like a different Johnny, indeed. He sat where I told him to sit, he was quiet and diligent and finished his test without a peep. Bobby was on the opposite end of the room and without Johnny couldn't start any trouble. The class went by without any disruption from either.
Point of this story? Well, in the day when seemingly everything is blamed on the teacher, this shows that actually, it's the parents who make the biggest impact. The only real difference between Johnny and Bobby is that Johnny's parents are obviously more proactive than Bobby's parents. I called Johnny's parents once, and Johnny comes in the next day looking shellshocked. I called Bobby's parents I don't know how many times, and all I got was excuses and accusations. Now I know how to control Johnny's behavior, but Bobby? What can a teacher do if the mother finds Bobby calling Asians "monkeys" and women (insert obscene word for a female body part) cute?
But I forgot, it's all the teacher's fault.
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