Colbert on Fox News Gender-Blind Premium Trolling

Here’s Colbert on Fox Business host and Madame Tussauds wax figure of himself John Stossel.

Did you catch that? Under Obamacare men will pay the same amount as women and yet we still don’t get to pass a cantaloupe with toenails through our genitals.

Brian Kilmeade hates wearing that cone.

I laughed so hard I became light headed.

Posted in Comedy | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Buzz Burbank News & Comment 11/5/13

Presented by the RELM Network.

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Senate GOP Want to Tie ENDA to.. Abortion?

vitterVitter Da Shitter has proposed an amendment to the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) that would ban “sex-selective abortion.”

Vitter wants a vote on his proposed ban on sex-selective abortions as part of the amendment process for the LGBT workplace discrimination bill, according to Democratic and Republican aides, though the legislation has nothing to do with abortion. The Louisiana Republican first introduced his bill, the Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act, in June 2012.

I probably don’t need to tell to you, but “sex-selective abortion” is a myth. This is a solution in search of a problem and merely another feather in the cap for enlistees in the War on Women.

I said that I wouldn’t be shocked if Republicans will agree to passing the ENDA if we also pass tort reform and ban lawsuits but, in hindsight, that may have been setting the bar too low.

Posted in Abortion, LGBT, War On Women | Tagged , | 7 Comments

McConnell: My State is Full of Freeloaders That Love Free Stuff

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You may have heard that Obamacare has been a big success in the state of Kentucky, and while that’s undoubtedly good news, Kentucky senator and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R) is not impressed.

During his weekly press briefing, McConnell admitted that Obamacare has been a success in Kentucky, but that’s only because people in his home state love Free Stuff™ and Handouts™

MCCONNELL: “Well, 85 percent of the people who’ve signed up in Kentucky have signed up for Medicaid. That’s free health care. If you want to give out free health care you’re going to have a lot of interest. Just like free anything else. There’ve also been, if you look at the statistics today, I believe I’m correct, about 270,000 cancellations of policies that people already had. So I know there’s been a great effort on the part of the administration and the governor of Kentucky to paint a pretty picture. The rollout is quite mixed — quite mixed — and largely people signing up for Medicaid. Free health care.

Free. Free. Free. Did I mention Free? Free healthcare! Free “anything else!”

Clearly it would be news to McConnell to learn that Medicaid isn’t actually free and that very few people who are currently enrolled in Medicaid have done so by choice.

They may have lost their jobs or they may actually have a job and they work at Wal-Mart or Fast Food.

Is Mitch McConnell accusing Wal-Mart of loving free health care? He may have a point.

Posted in Healthcare | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Rand Paul: Serial Plagiarist (Part 4?)

I labeled Rand Paul a “serial plagiarist” in jest yesterday, but it appears that he really does have a bad habit.

The New York Times caught another instance of Rand Paul Plagiarism yesterday.

In an op-ed article he wrote for The Washington Times in September on mandatory minimum prison sentences, Mr. Paul, a Republican, appears to have copied language from an essay that had previously run in The Week magazine.

That article, written by Dan Stewart, an editor for The Week, included this sentence: “America now jails a higher percentage of its citizens than any other country, including China and Iran, at the staggering cost of $80 billion a year.” It was posted to the web on Sept. 14.

On Sept. 20, Mr. Paul wrote this: “America now jails a higher percentage of its citizens than any other country, including China and Iran, at the staggering cost of $80 billion a year.”

If you write with any regularity you’re going to write something, at some point, that looks similar or familiar, but this is an unattributed word-for-word copy.

I would suggest that those who are searching for other instances of Rand Paul Plagiarism continue to do so because I doubt the four instances identified so far are an exhaustive list.

Posted in Ethics, Rand Paul | Tagged | 12 Comments

Same-Sex Marriage Opponents in Hawaii Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

The cavalcade of angry, ignorant people testifying in Honolulu against the passage of same-sex marriage ought to be ashamed of themselves. So much for the spirit of aloha. Though I’m satisfied that the special session of the state legislature in which 5,000 citizens are planning to testify is being recorded for posterity. This way future generations can put names and faces to the ignorance.

Hawaii should’ve been the first state to pass marriage equality, given its firstness on civil unions. Instead, it’s the 15th state. Maybe.

Even in “paradise,” there are people like this:

Tenari Maafala, the President of Hawaii’s police union and an active police officer with the Honolulu Police Department, who testified that he would never enforce a law requiring same-sex marriage.

“You would have to kill me,” he told the lawmakers.

Maafala said that same-sex marriage is contrary to his religious views and, “I stand by my beliefs.”

Of course no one’s forcing Maafala to marry another man. Nor is anyone asking him to change his religious beliefs regarding the issue (though he probably should). Maafala is compelled to serve and protect all of the various ethnic and religious groups that live in Hawaii — a true melting pot — even though his religion might fall in direct conflict with the traditions of those people. So why not LGBT citizens who want to be married? Pure ignorance and hatred. That’s the difference.

Posted in LGBT | Tagged , , | 18 Comments

Another Obamacare ‘Horror Story’ Debunked; And, No, the President Didn’t Lie About the Law

My Tuesday column:

As the week began, another "Obamacare" horror story hit the press, instigating a fleet of outrage-pornographers and concern trolls across the political spectrum to continue self-flagellating and screeching about the disastrous Affordable Care Act -- selectively forgetting about actual healthcare horror stories that existed before the law was implemented. It was a story focusing on yet another vague, anecdotal tale about a hapless ACA victim whose insurance policy was canceled, thus vindicating the accusation that the president lied about "keeping your existing insurance policy if you like it."

Before we dive into the lie accusation, let’s take a closer look at an op/ed for the Wall Street Journal written by a stage-4 gallbladder cancer survivor, Edie Littlefield Sundby.

Sundby wrote that she received a letter from UnitedHealthcare announcing the cancellation of her insurance policy. She was advised to seek a different plan from the ACA exchange in California, known as Cover California. However, she claimed that there aren’t any insurance plans in the exchange that are accepted by both her primary care doctors at University of California San Diego, and her oncologists at and Stanford, thus forcing her to choose one or the other.

But here’s the thing: Sundby wasn’t shoved into this predicament because the ACA law forced her insurance provider out of the ballgame. UnitedHealthcare, one of the most notorious insurance providers before the ACA was passed, responsible for canceling policies and penalizing customers, decided to voluntarily bail out of the individual insurance game as a matter of corporate strategy. In doing so, it could avoid taking on less healthy customers early in the exchange sign-up process, forcing other insurers to absorb the risk. Clever. And sinister.

UnitedHealthcare Chief Executive Officer Stephen Helmsley said, “The company’s plans reflect its concern that the first wave of newly insured customers under the law may be the costliest.” He continued, “UnitedHealth will watch and see how the exchanges evolve and expects the first enrollees will have ‘a pent-up appetite’ for medical care. We are approaching them with some degree of caution because of that.” A pent-up appetite — you know, to not go broke while attempting to not die… [CONTINUE READING]

Posted in Healthcare, The Daily Banter | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Morning Awesome

Nicola Conte – “Kind of Sunshine”

Yes, it’s a Conte theme week!

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Dysfunctional Web Site

Failed Web Site

Artist – Rob Rogers

In other news, the U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear a case from Oklahoma on the ban on RU-486, a medication abortion, meaning the Oklahoma Supreme Court’s decision to strike the ban will be upheld.

When given an opportunity, a lower court in Texas recently decided not to strike down a ban on RU-486. This isn’t over.

Meanwhile, eleven counties in Colorado will vote on secession tomorrow. And while that is ridiculous on its own, it’s even more egregious when you consider that some of the counties that will vote to seceded were among the hardest hit by catastrophic flooding in September.

The government was there to help.

Posted in Abortion, Open Thread, Supreme Court | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Suppression

Dont-mess-with-Texas

Former representative and Speaker of the House Jim Wright (D-TX) was denied a voter ID in Texas because his license is expired.

Wright told the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram that he couldn’t get an ID because he only had an expired driver’s license (Wright is 90) and a faculty ID card from Texas Christian University, neither of which qualify under Texas’ new law. Wright plans to return to the office Monday with a certified copy of his birth certificate, which will allow him to get an ID. But, the long-time voting rights advocate told the Star-Telegram, not everyone will be able to meet those qualifications, meaning the law will almost surely depress turnout in Tuesday’s state and local elections.

As I said when Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott was forced to sign an affidavit to vote, if men like him and the former Speaker of the House have trouble obtaining ID or voting, average people don’t stand a chance.

A certified copy of a birth certificate is not free.

Posted in Voter Suppression | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Boehner Sheds a Tear For Your Jobs

BoehnerBawling

Speaker of the House John Boehner said today that a bill that prevents people from being fired from their jobs will actually kill jobs. Or something. via The Hill

A spokesman said Boehner (R-Ohio) does not support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) because it would be bad for the economy.

“The Speaker believes this legislation will increase frivolous litigation and cost American jobs, especially small business jobs,” said Boehner spokesman Michael Steel.

If you think about this for more than five seconds, you’ll realize it’s ridiculous.

The Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is designed to keep people in their jobs. It won’t “cost American jobs.” It will preserve American jobs because employers won’t be able to fire you for being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.

Furthermore, claiming that this will lead to “frivolous litigation” is akin to blaming the victim. It’s also a quasi admission of guilt and an implication that average people may lie about their sexual orientation if they’re fired for other reasons.

White House press secretary Jay Carney rightfully ridiculed Boehner’s statement.

Carney said the reasoning behind Boehner’s opposition “sounds familiar to the opposition to all civil rights measures” in the nation’s history.

“That opposition was wrong then and is wrong now,” Carney said.

If the Senate passes the ENDA and House Republicans kill it, they will be locked into a distinctly anti-gay position for the foreseeable future.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Republicans pull tort reform out of their ass and say they’ll allow a vote on the ENDA if we also ban lawsuits.

Posted in LGBT | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Worst Persons in the World

I don’t have a name to cite because it hasn’t been reported, but the woman responsible for handing these out to kids on Halloween in Albuquerque along with their Snickers and Jolly Ranchers is a terrible, terrible person. (via ThinkProgress)

Trick-or-Treat-or-Abortion

Why? Why would you hand these out to little kids? Little kids who have no idea what it is they’re looking at, leaving their parents to explain.

Whoever you are, fuck you. You’re a bad person and you should feel bad.

The anti-choice movement is filled with horrible people.

Posted in Abortion, War On Women, Worst Persons | Tagged | 10 Comments

Benghazi Fraudster: Dogs and Cats Are Living Together

bcs_benghazigate

The Daily Beast snagged an exclusive interview with noted Benghazi Fraudster Dylan Davies who, after having his own account of that night’s event come into question, implied that Media Matters and Fox News are somehow working together. Which is, you know, about as far-fetched as his heroic fairy tale.

Davies said he believed there was a coordinated campaign to smear him. This week, Media Matters, a progressive media watchdog, sent a public letter to CBS News asking it to retract the 60 Minutes Benghazi piece on the basis of the Washington Post article. On the Fox News Channel, reporter Adam Housley claimed on air this week that Davies asked for money in exchange for an interview. Davies denied this charge. 60 Minutes has stood by its reporting.

Davies now claims that the report he gave to his employer was a lie and that the account he gave to 60 Minutes is the real story.

I’ll ask the question again; is it more likely that he raced to the embassy, scaled a 12 foot wall, and engaged the evil-doers in hand-to-hand combat (the story he gave to 60 Minutes), or that he spent most of the night on the beach, was denied access to the embassy because of a roadblock, and ultimately heard about Ambassador Chris Stevens’ death from a colleague who had cellphone pictures (the story he gave to his employer)?

Given that Davies admits he lied to his employer, and given that he allegedly asked Fox News for money in exchange for his story, I’m inclined to believe that he is, in fact, a fraud.

It’s possible neither the story he gave to his employer or the story he gave to 60 Minutes is true.

Let’s not forget that this 60 Minutes report is what compelled Senator Lindsey Graham to state that he will block all nominations until he’s satisfied.

Senator Graham has since become more specific, stating that he will block the president’s nominations to head the Federal Reserve and the Department of Homeland Security. And if you ask what either of those have to do with Benghazi, the answer is absolutely nothing. Embassy security is handled by the State Department which, as we’ve pointed out in the past, has faced deep security budget cuts. Cuts that Republicans demanded. They were for the cuts before they were still-for-it-but-against-it because Obummer.

Posted in Benghazi, The Media | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Buzz Burbank News & Comment 11/4/13

Presented by the RELM Network.

Be sure to listen to Buzz’s exclusive interview with radio legend Don Geronimo, free for a limited time.

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Rand Paul: Serial Plagiarist

While two other instances of Rand Paul plagiarism have already been identified, Buzzfeed has identified a third.

Paul reportedly copied a significant chunk of a Heritage Foundation case study for his book Government Bullies.

“The copied section, 1,318 words, is by far the most significant instance reported so far of Paul borrowing language from other published material. The new cut-and-paste job follows reports by BuzzFeed, Politico, and MSNBC that Paul had plagiarized speeches either from Wikipedia or news reports.”

In his defense, Republicans typically say exactly what the Heritage Foundation wants them to say anyway. This conveniently eliminates the middle-man.

Posted in Ethics, Rand Paul | Tagged | 4 Comments

Paging the Ghost of Zell Miller

Rand Paul thinks a duel might resolve plagiarism charges against him:

Sen. Rand Paul said Sunday that accusations of plagiarism in his speeches makes him wish dueling were legal in Kentucky.

“I take it as an insult, and I will not lie down and say people can call me dishonest, misleading or misrepresenting — I have never intentionally done so and like I say, ‘If dueling were legal in Kentucky, if they keep it up, you know it’d be a duel challenge,’ ” Paul said on ABC’s “This Week.”

Okay, so we’re doing this now? He invoked a duel. Because it went so well for Zell Miller in 2004 and totally didn’t make Miller seem like a raving crackpot.

Correction… Zell Miller is still alive.

Posted in Rand Paul | Tagged | 15 Comments

Some Much Needed Historical Perspective Regarding the Affordable Care Act

Back from vacation with my Monday column:

You might’ve noticed that I’ve been away on vacation for a couple of weeks, but now that I’m re-entering the atmosphere and catching up with national events, one of the many things that hasn’t changed is the garment rending and disinformation campaigns regarding the implementation of the Affordable Care Act.

Okay, I get it. The Healthcare.gov website is still a little glitchy; there are evidently people who are losing their current health insurance plans; premiums continue to rise; and the Republicans along with irresponsible members of the press are blowing it entirely out proportion.

Enough! In the blitz of strategic outrage and gratuitous piling-on, it’s time to inject some serious and much-needed perspective into this thing.

First, here are several examples of major government endeavors that launched on shaky ground but which eventually became historically monumental achievements. You might remember hearing about the status of the American space program just nine years before NASA went on to successfully land a man on the moon. This is what the space program looked like in 1960, as illustrated in The Right Stuff:

We’re all familiar with NASA’s unrivaled track record in the subsequent 50 years… [CONTINUE READING]

Posted in Healthcare, The Daily Banter | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Morning Awesome

Nicola Conte – “Like Leaves In The Wind”

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The Blame Game

139534_600

Artist– Bill Day

And, just what is the old Decider-Commander-Guy 43′ doing these days?

According to an extremely flattering, deferential article in the New York Times adapted from Peter Baker’s “Days of Fire: Bush and Cheney in the White House,” a friend likes to describe Bush’s post-presidency life as, “Clinton is a citizen of the world… and Bush is a citizen of Dallas.”

Oh, and he recently shared a photo with his granddaughter on Halloween. Gallup’s most recent polling puts him at a 49% approval. Because history is less forgiving if you’re black.

Posted in Cartoons, George W. Bush, History, Open Thread, Racism, Republican Party | Tagged , | 9 Comments

Meanwhile, The Stunning Collapse Of Infrastructure Spending In One Chart

From Think Progress:

infrachart-11113

After hovering around $300 billion per year from the middle of President George W. Bush’s tenure through 2010, government spending on building things not related to defense fell by about $60 billion in just a few years. The drop is a result of Republicans blocking President Obama’s efforts to invest in infrastructure that the country needs.

[...]

In order to bring America’s infrastructure up to a reasonable level by 2020, Congress needs to be spending about $450 billion per year, according to the American Society of Civil Engineers.

Infrastructure spending levels are tied fairly directly to economic performance. Continued underfunding in this arena over the coming years will cost businesses a trillion dollars in lost sales and cost the economy 3.5 million jobs.

I thought the economy felt kind of abused and malnourished.

Posted in Jobs, The Economy, Wingnuts | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments