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In these festive times, a cold, hard word of caution cannot go amiss. "Santa Claus rarely turns out to be an Easter Bunny," Uli Hoeness memorably observed seven years ago. Hoeness was proven right that season of course, albeit in a slightly different way than he had expected. Werder Bremen, league leaders at the winter break in December 2006 "with a laughable three-point gap" (Hoeness), were indeed reeled in by spring. But the bunnies in question turned out to be very much Swabian in origin, not Munich's finest. As Stuttgart won the Meisterschaft, Bayern had to contend with the ignominy of the Uefa Cup.
This episode made for a fine parable about hubris and entitlement but it also serves as a sobering reminder that schadenfreude tends to come back to bite you. Far from marking the beginning of the end, the Reds' darkest hour in a decade only turbo-charged their re-emergence as a European superpower as they embarked on a defiant, no-holds-barred programme of investment that has since threatened to crush all domestic competition.
Wolfsburg players usually have problems of a very different kind around this time of year. Their Santa Claus, apart from not being an Easter Bunny, hardly ever shows up. Since the Volkwagen-owned club won the league in 2009, the tone at their end-of-year parties has mostly resembled that of an angry half-time talk by Knecht Ruprecht, with various club bosses waggling their index fingers and vaguely threatening sanctions if the performances don't improve. Four years ago, the club CEO, Jürgen Marbach, wanted to scrap the Christmas party altogether after a 3-1 home defeat by Dortmund. Wolfsburg finished the calendar year in eighth place that season. They were 13th in 2010, 12th in 2011 and 15th in 2012.
'Tis is the Bundesliga season to be merry, however. After the 3-1 home win against Stuttgart, Wolves are in fifth spot. A win against fourth-placed Borussia Mönchengladbach next week and they could see in 2014 level on points with two sides in the Champions League spots. Dortmund are within striking range as well, after dropping more points in the 2-2 draw at Hoffenheim.
So the club rolled out the green carpet outside the imaginatively titled "Club 45" and "Halle 09" multi-purpose rooms inside the Volkswagen-Arena on Sunday night and allowed themselves a rare evening of happiness. "A Christmas party is a moment of reflection, and when you've won the day before, the party mood is that much greater," said Volkswagen's CEO, Martin Winterkorn. "Everyone's allowed to dream," added Wolfsburg's sporting director, Klaus Allofs.
In truth, the result had been more convincing than the actual performance. Their Manager, Dieter Hecking – crowned as "HecKING" by Bild – had Diego to thank for the three points. That's Diego Benaglio, the Swiss keeper. "You have to mention him today," said Hecking, after two fine saves from the 30-year-old kept out Timo Werner and Christian Gentner before Ivan Perisic sealed the deal with Wolves' third goal. "The development points to the right direction," said Benaglio. "We are coming together as a team more and more."
The other Diego was also on the score-sheet. The Brazilian playmaker grabbed the second goal with a deflected free-kick, but his biggest moment came off the pitch. He barely acknowledged Hecking after coming off for Perisic on 72 minutes, in a show of petulance that angered Allofs. "I can't understand that," he said, "everybody is a 23rd of the team here. Not more and no less." For Diego, the numbers would have looked different.
Ever since Edin Dzeko headed to Manchester City, the 28-year-old has been the sole squad member with true star quality. Against Stuttgart, Hecking played him wide on the left to accommodate Maximilian Arnold, the 19-year-old shooting star of the season. This felt like more than a mere tactical move, it was also quite symbolic: Diego has become less central to Wolfsburg's fortunes. He will be out of contract in the summer and so far the club have made little attempt to renew the deal: he's rumoured to be on a colossal €8m a season. "It's not easy [to be in the dark]," said Diego, "but it's part of the job. I have to deal with it professionally and help the team." Hecking took a benign view of the player's frustrations. "Good players rarely want to be subbed, I thought it was a normal exit," said the 49-year-old. "He had hardly trained last week."
That mini-skirmish aside, things could not have been going better since their neighbours Braunschweig beat them in the derby a couple of months ago. Wolfsburg bounced back with six wins in eight to occupy that section of the table where you'd expect bigger beasts such as Schalke to roam. It's a pretty astounding turnaround considering Felix Magath left them in the relegation zone and with a squad of nearly 40 players less than 18 months ago.
"You can't mention us in the same breath as the current Champions League participants," Allofs warned. "We're not there yet," said Hecking. But Wolves are already better and more consistent than Schalke, and a good run from Dortmund in the Champions League could well see them drop more domestic points in the new year. Gladbach have a more complete setup and possibly a smarter coach but there isn't much depth.
Even if they were to miss out on top four, Wolfsburg's return to relative prominence will irk plenty of traditionalists. They'd prefer the more established, member-controlled clubs to scoop up Uefa's millions. That's the least of their worries, though. Simply to matter again in this league is one of the nicest Christmas presents Santa could have given them.
Talking points
• Some football cliches prove harder to kill than a multi-headed zombie hydra in Predator armour. "Der Club ist ein Depp," is one of them. The club in question is Nürnberg and Depp translates as idiot. (This, you'll find, also explains German schoolboy sniggers whenever a certain Hollywood actor is mentioned.) Said statement is less of an insult and more of a philosophical acceptance of an immutable, eternal fact of life in Franconia, their version of Murphy's law: whatever can possibly go wrong, will go wrong (it's mostly FCN supporters who use this expression).
On Saturday, Gertjan Verbeek's men were 3-1 up away to Hannover with three minutes to go and on course for their first win of the season. And then it happened. First, the defender Marcelo hit is own post with a mis-hit clearance. From the post, the ball bounced back, Hannover went on a counter-attack and Mame Diouf scored from a blatantly offside position to make the score 3-2. The rest is easy to imagine. Deep in injury-time, Diouf pounced again: 3-3. "You're 3-1 up and then there's such a shit thing from the referee, it's unbelievable," cursed the goalkeeper Raphael Schäfer. All his team-mates felt cheated, too. Next week, there's a final chance to avoid a historic achievement: if they don't beat Schalke, they will have gone through the entire first half of the season without a win. The headlines are pre-prepared.
• Bayern jetted off to the Club World Cup in Morocco straight after dispatching Hamburg with a half-hearted 3-1 win. Dortmund found it much harder going at Hoffenheim. Jürgen Klopp saw his team come back from 2-0 down to escape with a point but was mightily miffed. "There was so much football and you want to do [a] crap story. What a crappy life that must be," he scoffed at a reporter who had enquired whether the manager had feared for the linesman after a collision with Marco Reus. The 46-year-old badly needs a winter break, along with the rest of his team.
• Jens Keller won his second "final" in row. But beating Freiburg 2-0 (after scraping past Basel with the help of the Italian officials) has done little for his job prospects at Schalke. On Sunday night, Ruhr Nachrichten reported that defensive mastermind and all-round super-charming guy Thomas Schaaf is poised to take over in the winter break. This will be most welcome news, especially for Cristiano Ronaldo. Real Madrid face Schalke in the last 16.
Results: Hertha BSC 3-2 Werder Bremen, FC Bayern 3-1 HSV, Hannover 96 3-3 1. FC Nürnberg, FC Augsburg 4-1 Eintracht Braunschweig, VfL Wolfsburg 3-1 VfB Stuttgart, Mainz 05 0-0 Borussia Mönchengladbach, TSG Hoffenheim 2-2 Borussia Dortmund, Schalke 2-0 SC Freiburg, Bayer Leverkusen 0-1 Eintracht Frankfurt.
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