Winner: Gilbert Gottfried
Yes, he was the first pseudo-celeb sent home from Rachel vs. Guy last week, but we think it's best for his career as a former insurance-selling duck to minimize association with the bizarre series. Now he can focus on more important things, like running away from random strangers that corner him on the street and beg him to say "AFLAC!"
On a side note, fans of Kathy Najimy were elated that she bested him in a head to head elimination competition, with one of them saying "Her win was epic! It would be a tragedy to see her go when I'm so close to remembering who exactly she is."
Loser: The Pizza Goat
Technically, it's the slice-chomping farm animal's owner who's the loser, since the guy got slapped with sexual assault charges. But the famous Billy, who has made journeys to numerous NYC pie shops, saw its reputation tarnished by the fact that he was this dude's wing-goat.
Come to think of it, the accusations are not that surprising. In fact, the whole scandal reminded us of an important truism that we somehow forgot: anyone who brings a goat to a pizza place is frickin' weird.