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Age: 41.
Appearance: The most beautiful woman in the world.
Who says? People, the biggest magazine in America.
OK. She's an actor, isn't she? Yes, that is indeed the case, more or less.
More or less? Her early triumphs – Emma, Shakespeare in Love, The Royal Tenenbaums – were followed by a series of turkeys (who can forget View from the Top and Running with Scissors?). She is now a fixture in the Iron Man franchise, and has built a lucrative sideline as a lifestyle guru.
So what's her latest project? Vanity Unfair.
Sounds interesting. What's the plot? A famous American magazine plans an in-depth look at her. She gets wind of it, tells her friends not to answer any questions, and launches what some see as a media offensive before the magazine even hits the newsstands.
Could be a good film. It's not a film. Paltrow was annoyed Vanity Fair was planning an "epic takedown" of her, and has got in first with an admiring interview in the latest issue of Red magazine, which she has guest-edited.
Why does Vanity Fair think she needs taking down? Could it have something to do with her website Goop, which encourages readers to "nurse the inner aspect", or the names – Apple and Moses – she has lumbered her children with, or the ascetic cookbook she published recently (raw almonds, raw honey, an arugula garnish, maybe a mushroom on a feast day), or the fact that she once claimed to have "the butt of a 22-year-old stripper"? Or maybe it's just that she's rich, beautiful, talented and married to a rock star. Well, to Coldplay's Chris Martin ...
That's more than enough reasons. When will the takedown appear? Good question. It was expected to be on the cover of the December issue, but isn't there. A nation waits ...
Not to be confused with: Nicole Kidman, also an actor, who is on the cover of December's Vanity Fair.
Most likely to say: "I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup."
Least likely to say: "Burger and fries please, and heavy on the ketchup."
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