This photo of Brenda Gonzalez, Miss Argentina, is my prototype national costume. If you grew up wanting to be Miss Universe, this is why. Feathers, metallic bustier: this is it.
Decent self still in possession of humanity: "Tsaone Macheng, Miss Botswana, is completely adorable and appropriate and actually doesn't look like a nut." Mean self that has seen too many costume photos: "Casual Corner is a country?"
Ah, Jamaica. Where the drinks are delicious, the beaches are gorgeous, and The Brady Bunch's variety show is still in reruns, apparently. (Miss Jamaica: Kerrie Baylis)
I just want you to pause and appreciate that she is wearing what appears to be a velvet jumpsuit with a standing Elvis cape made of buildings, a windmill and a bicycle on her head, and tulips on her pants. (Miss Netherlands: Stephanie Tency)
Uh-huh. This is us. Right here in the old US of A, where we have a long patriotic tradition of light-up robot toys and stealing Elton John's shoes. (Miss USA: Erin Brady)