Thailand’s Songkran water festival, held in April (Photo: Reuters). Is this part of my identity?

I still remember a conversation I had with my high school friends one day, when I told them that I wanted to study in the U.S.: “I don’t think I’d ever go there,” said one of my friends. “It seems too liberal and dangerous.”

I also remember another moment, when I was at a store with my mother, and she had told the shopkeeper that I attended an international school: “Learning English is a good skill, but I don’t think I want my kids in that kind of school,” he said. “I don’t want them to be Westernized.”

Although I attended an American international school, few of my friends actually went abroad for college. Most stayed in Thailand, a handful went to colleges either in England or Australia, and I was the only one to go to the U.S. The prevailing attitude was that while, sure, the U.S. offered a good education, it was just a bit too far, too expensive, and too different. When one of my friends expressed interest in going to an American college, her parents dissuaded her, saying that they wanted her closer by.

To me, getting away was the exactly the point; staying in Thailand was the last thing on my mind. I had graduated from high school, seen all my close friends leave, and was overcome by the feeling that I was done with it all – that there was absolutely nothing left for me in Thailand, and there was nowhere to go but away.

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While spending my winter break with my family in Bolivia, I received a message from a school friend in Kansas asking me, “When are you home?” It was a simple question, but it caught me off guard. She just wanted to know when I was planning on getting back to Kansas, but I was struck by how she was calling Kansas “home.” That was mind-blowing for me.

Is this home now?

I had never stopped to think about it before but, having adapted very well to my new environment, collecting more and more personal possessions there with time and having spent 11 out of 12 months there last year, it would be foolish not to consider it something of a home.

But does it replace the place that saw my birth and first steps (more like my first twenty years)? I wasn’t comfortable even thinking about that!
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Kyiv (left) and Ohio University (right) (Source: Google Maps – DigitalGlobe, GeoEye, USDA Farm Service Agency)

What is it like going back home after 15 months in the U.S.? I began looking forward to it the minute I booked my flight, which was three months in advance. I expected myself to be excited beyond all measure. I thought I would count down minutes for a car to get me to the airport, for my plane to take off, for me to see my dearest people in the world.

Immediately, I started thinking of all the possible gifts I could bring to different people back home. I even made a list to make sure that everyone would get a gift, at least a small thing (which I had to revise pretty significantly when I remembered the weight restriction on luggage – 50lb for a checked bag and 15lb for a carry-on).

But contrary to all my expectations, when the time came to travel home, I didn’t feel the overwhelming excitement I thought I would. I felt like an experienced business traveler who doesn’t easily get amazed at changing countries, but rather anticipates all inconveniences of a long distance flight. No strong emotions, just a fear of losing luggage (which has happened to me twice so far) and a wish to squeeze a 20 hour flight across 7 time zones into 2 short hours.

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A pair of high-heeled shoes is an irreplaceable accessory for almost every Russian woman. We wear heels to school, work, trips, restaurants, everywhere… We just love them, even though they hurt and make our feet get tired quickly…

When I came to the U.S., I continued to wear my favorite pair of high heels, even in my dorm. I noticed immediately people turning back at me. Once I heard something like this:
-“Do you know Anna?”
–“Oh, that girl that wears high heels?”

I realized that Americans do not wear high-heeled shoes every day, especially in small suburban towns, but they do so in big cities like Boston and New York. In Russia, I believe the trend is the opposite: the smaller the city, the more women will wear heels every day, while in big cities they do not, because it is not very convenient to get around a big city in heels, and by far not every Russian woman has a car.

However, I feel I am assimilating here in the U.S. When I was packing my baggage before coming to the U.S. for the second time, I decided to take 4 pairs of shoes, all of which were of course high-heels. But it’s been a few months since I came here to a small town, and I wore high heels only once since then.

I’m Chinese, but kinda American.

Since August 16, 2008, the day I arrived in the United States, I have been asked thousands of times, “Where are you from?” For most Chinese students studying abroad, the automatic answer would be, “Yea, China of course!” However, for some, it is not as simple as the nationality presented on their red, Chinese passports.

This summer, a Chinese friend of mine from Syracuse University visited me in Beijing after spending a semester studying abroad in Europe with a few American students. “I enjoyed my stay in Spain so much last semester,” she told me, speaking in Mandarin Chinese interspersed with some English terms. She showed me pictures of various parties with other American students, and said, “The American culture I adopted last semester was more than what I had tried for the past three years. I feel I’m so American right now and I nearly forgot how to speak Chinese when I just came back to China from Spain.”

I felt happy for her for feeling comfortable “being so American.” However, her words left me in deep thought as well; do we, Chinese students studying in the US, have to “act like Americans” in order to live comfortably in this country?

My freshman year, I had a culture clash with my American roommate and felt very isolated from the American students in the dorm. The reason was simple: I didn’t party with them, nor did I talk to them often.

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“Remember to keep warm when you get there. America is a cold place. And to call us daily. Don’t forget us.”

Brunch at an American dining hall (Creative Commons photo by Flickr user superfem)

These very words were the ultimate installment in a long series of many, many snippets of well-meaning advice from aunts, uncles, friends, neighbors, cousins, passers-by, cousins of those passers-by, and anyone else who had caught wind of the fact that I was, indeed, going to America.

I had been warned about things such as the perceived perils of overeating when I got there, and it had been predicted that once I tasted that delicious American food, I would surely eat too much of it until I fell ill or exploded.

Would I cope with speaking in English all of the time? No, it was hypothesized that I would surely forget I was in North America and I would end up confusing my American friends by cracking jokes to them in my native language while still expecting them to laugh at those jokes.

And what of the cold? Would I survive? I would never cope with all that ice! After all, America is colder than the deep freezer! (an actual quote).

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Am I the one? Am I the Promise who promised himself his Nigerian accent was not going to take a slip? I never would have believed I could so easily twist my tongue in an American twang.

But let’s go back to the beginning.

Yawn!

You might be asking, “How has the experience been so far?” I have been doing well – yawning like 50 times a day (not exaggerating). I haven’t slept for a total of 12 hours for the past three days I have been in Minneapolis. Could it be heat? The excitement? Maybe you can help me with that.

Tonight is one reason.

It’s 11:39 pm here, and I can picture you forming a question like, “Why is this dude not sleeping at this time?” Well, I have been asking myself that question too; but you’ll laugh when you find out why.

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While I was watching American shows and movies on Romanian television, the décor  around me became surprisingly similar to that on the screen. The small colored houses, with ducks and chicken raised in the backyards, were replaced by large, beige homes with perfectly cut grass, bird feeders and playful pets. The gray, block, low-rise buildings became taller, and the more I looked at them, the more they seemed like modern glass skyscrapers. Was I dreaming? When and how did this transformation happen?

One typical American experience - hanging out at the pool!

The change began with the first waves of democracy and modernity in Romania after the 1989 Revolution. To my delight as a child, long Communist speeches were replaced by exciting Western shows, movies and cartoons.

Democracy brought freshness, self-expression, enthusiasm for exploration and unknown possibilities. Just starting school, I was strongly influenced by the country’s newly liberated and celebratory spirit.

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Alex talks about why he chose to come to the U.S. after doing his undergraduate studies in Malaysia, and some of the challenges he dealt with in his first year at American University.

I did a similar list at Christmas time, so I won’t repeat any of the posts I listed there. Take a look back at that post from December 2010 to see some previous favorites worth checking out.

Top 5 personal favorites

Farima represents Afghanistan at a school cultural event

#1) We Are Not Terrorists: Muslim Experiences on Campus, Question of the Week

Also:
My Biggest Surprise in the US: Sadia’s Story
Being Afghan and Muslim at a US High School, by Farima

I loved these three posts because of the unique insights and perspectives they offered on being a Muslim in the U.S.  Sadia, Farima, Umer and Beenish (the two people we interviewed for the “We Are Not Terrorists” story) all talked honestly about their experiences – both good and bad.  And I felt like their conclusions were summed up beautifully by this quote, from a Pakistani UGRAD partipant on his first day in the U.S.: “There are only two kinds of people which you will find in every corner of the world, in every society, in every country. That is good and bad. It exists everywhere, and last night I found this true.”

#2) On Cultures and Sub-Cultures in America, by Nareg

We came to know Nareg as our resident sociologist/anthropologist, always interested in the foundations and layers of American culture.  This piece explores a particularly unique part of American culture – the way it enables innumerable subcultures sprung up around everything from particular styles of dress to musical preferences to emotional states.  I enjoyed seeing his take on some subcultures I’ve grown up with, and tussling with him in the editing process over his portrayal of hipsters and nerds.

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As the academic year comes to an end and summer vacation begins, we’ll take a look back at the past school year and share some of your favorite posts…and some of our favorites too!  So stay tuned over the next week or so for a bunch of lists recapping the best of the past school year. Starting with…

The top 5 most viewed posts of 2010-2011:

#1) International Student in Japan Recounts Earthquake Experience: ‘I was so astonished and panicked’, by Seungmin Bang

Photo: AFP

It’s like a movie, something like a disaster film. This is my very first time to undergo such a severe earthquake in Japan. Since never having experienced an earthquake like this, my other international friends and I was so astonished and panicked. On the contrary to this, other Japanese people were relatively calm.

We also spoke several times to Kana Igarashi, a Japanese student studying in California.  Kana’s family was in Fukushima, and she talked about their experience in the earthquake and subsequent nuclear crisis.

#2) How to Speak English Fluently?, by Nick Hoang

I’m not exaggerating in saying that American movies and music were my principal English teachers in 9th grade. I would buy CDs of Westlife and Britney Spears, download the lyrics and sing along to the songs.

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Though it feels like most people talk about improving their career prospects or getting a better education when they discuss why they want to study in the U.S., in an informal survey on our Facebook page, the majority of you said the cultural experience of studying abroad was the most important reason to study overseas.

Cultural Immersion

Cheerleaders at George Mason (Creative commons photo by Flickr user J Rosenfeld)

For Nareg, it was the “spirit of adventure” that drove his decision to come to the U.S.:

The experience of it all was definitely a major factor: to be away from family and friends, in an unknown environment, is just the kind of adventure which would educate more than any book or lecture could.

Farima agrees.  She says her initial motivation for coming to the U.S. as a high school student was to get a better education, but over time it has been the cultural exposure that has kept her here:

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Shu Wen Teo (Photo from her Twitter account, @shuwenteo)

Shu Wen Teo is a sophomore at Colby-Sawyer College in New Hampshire, where she studies biology (and chemistry, and business administration, and would study political science too if she had the time).  She comes from Malaysia, and in addition to keeping up her busy academic schedule, she has devoted a lot of time to helping other Malaysian students learn about studying in the U.S.

Shu Wen has participated in education events back home in Malaysia and runs the Malaysia Scholarship blog – a blog devoted to finding and publicizing scholarship opportunities for Malaysian students.

We talked over Skype recently about her struggle to adapt during her first year at Colby-Sawyer, why she’s grateful for her liberal arts education, and how studying in the U.S. has changed her as a person.

Have you had a good experience so far?

The first year, not really.  I was really passive when I first came here, probably because of the culture shock. … Then the second year I started to get active and I got involved in the cross-cultural club particularly, and promoting cultural differences in the college.

I’m looking forward to the junior year, actually, because things have been getting better.

Did you ever regret your decision to come here?

A little bit, actually.  Because the way of teaching and learning system here is really different and I was not used to it.

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You know that feeling you get when someone doesn’t remember your name? That mix of embarrassment, hurt pride and annoyance as you repeat your name again, and again…and again?  It’s all too common for an international student in the U.S., as your name is likely to trip up most Americans.

Last week we had a bit of fun at my friend Kate’s expense, letting you hear how an American might pronounce (or mispronounce) your name if you studied here.  This week our bloggers weigh in on their experiences, and the various ways they’ve coped with introducing themselves by name in a country where the most common reaction is likely to be, “Can you say that again?”

Jamal Janybek

Actually it’s a funny story. So first of all, they misspelled my name in my international passport in that office in my country, where they initiate these sort of documents (I honestly don’t know how this office is called). My “real” full name in the passport was supposed to be Jamal Janybek kyzy (2 last words are my last name). But instead, they wrote it as Zhamal Zhanybek kyzy, which sounds absolutely wrong and I hate the spelling, as it seems very odd and weird. Kate can try to pronounce it, if she can.

Here you go, Jamal.  How’d she do?

And I didn’t mention that the name Jamal in other parts of the world is usually a male first name, which is really funny. Cemal (pronounced as “Jemal”), is a very common male name in Muslim countries such as in Turkey, Iran, and others. Moreover, Jamal, as you probably know, is a name commonly given to African-American boys. And almost everybody before meeting me thinks that I am a boy (LOL). So, when I meet somebody, the first question for me is that why I have a male name.

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