Connecting With Kids

Children have lots of questions about deployment and what it means for the parent who is away. It's especially important for their questions to be answered openly, honestly and calmly.

Some Practical Pointers

• Encourage children to ask questions and use language suitable to the age and development level of each child in answering.
• Let kids know that their thoughts and feelings are important to you.
• If a child has trouble verbalizing thoughts, suggest another way of expression, such as drawing, telling stories or playing with puppets.
• Keep routines as consistent and predictable as possible; children are reassured by structure and familiarity.
• Let kids be kids. Even in times of war, kids need to play, laugh and continue to grow and learn.

Tips for all Ages

Early Childhood

• Be calm around babies and toddlers.
• Keep to your normal routine as much as possible.

Pre-school

• Setting and sticking to bedtimes is very important. Looking at books, reading stories and tuck-ins are vital.
• Give kids lots of hugs and physical reassurance.
• Safety is a real concern for this age group. Reassure youngsters that adults are in charge and will keep them safe. Let them know you will protect them and keep them safe.

Elementary School

• Be open. Ask the kids if they have any questions and answer them without overreacting.
• Spend extra time together to provide additional reassurance.
• Limit television use and continue normal routines, especially at bedtime.

Middle School

• Children this age are extremely aware of their surroundings, so encourage them to talk about their feelings.
• Remember not to burden them with any fears you might be experiencing.
• Use historical examples — the Civil War or World War II, for example — to provide kids with a sense of hope and to explain how the United States has survived very difficult times in the past.

High School

• Some teens make jokes, so remember that humor can be a way to cope with difficult emotions they might be experiencing.
• Be open and allow them to express their feelings in different ways.
• Teens are focused on the events in their own lives. They might not want to talk about the deployment at all. Encourage conversation but don't force it.