By Patty Sands, WTC Stratcom
Gold Star Wife celebrates her daughter's wedding day. Bride, Meredith, and brother, Nicholas shown.
Note: On December 7, the U.S. Senate passed a resolution that designates December 18, 2010 as “Gold Star Wives Day.” The Gold Star Wives and the Warrior Transition Command (WTC) share a common goal in supporting American Families whose loved ones have served. In support of this common mission, WTC asked one of its staff members, a Gold Star Wife, to comment on the new resolution.
We come from all across the nation. We are every age, every faith, every color, and are from every walk of life. We are the Gold Star Wives.
The Gold Star Wives is an organization you will never want to join, even though you will never know finer individuals. The yearly fees are a mere $25 dollars a year, but membership into this group means your loved one gave the ultimate sacrifice to our nation. In this group, there are over 10,000 cherished flags between us that will never leave their place of honor in our homes and our hearts.
As a military widow and a staff member of the U.S. Army Warrior Transition Command (WTC), I was offered the opportunity by WTC leadership to comment about the Senate resolution designating December 18, 2010, as a day to honor and to recognize the contributions of the members of the Gold Star Wives of America Inc. As a member of the Gold Star Wives, I am honored to share my perspective.
My feelings about the U.S. Senate’s resolution are similar to the ones I felt on the day my husband was buried and I was handed an American flag, on behalf of a grateful nation. Both these gestures, demonstrate America’s thanks and dedication to support those that have served, those that have fallen, and their Families. To set aside this day, says the recognition of their sacrifice is still there.
My memories with the Gold Star Wives span the gambit. Through the Gold Star Wives I have been to many Senate receptions, met influential people, and have jumped on a lead motorcycle with the Memorial Day Rolling Thunder Ride along with 250,000 others in D.C. to recognize patriotism and respect for Soldiers and Veterans. However, when the events are over and you are back to the day to day life, this is the time when the Gold Star Wives’ purpose really shines.
Speaking only for myself and based on my experience, the early years were tough. But I also know it could have been far worse. I was blessed with an education, healthy kids, and the support of my dad and my sister Molly. Without question, my kid’s lives would have been entirely different without the love and support I had from my Family and friends. However, some widows and their kids are in situations far more challenging than mine were. These are the people that the Gold Star Wives can help in particular. They have walked the path before and are aware of the issues and problems that face survivors from all backgrounds. The paperwork and even just the process itself can be overwhelming to someone who is grieving and trying to hold a Family together. Survivors are doing what the name implies–surviving. The Gold Star Wives know the services and resources that each Family is eligible for and in friendship, tries to connect them with these resources. Their ultimate goal is to help survivors thrive.
Let me give you a few examples of how the Gold Star Wives have stepped in to help me. Years ago, I had a conversation with Edie, one of my Gold Star friends, about an issue I was having in regards to an educational fund for my children. I researched about public resources that assisted war orphans and found that the State of Virginia had an obligation to pay tuition, room, board, books, and fees for war orphans. Nevertheless, I couldn’t work the system in order to receive full benefits for my children.
I told Edie that I was planning to write a letter to the Governor of Virginia in the hopes to have someone hear my plea. A month or so later, I got a call from Edie and she told me that there was a rally at a library and that I should meet her there with the letter I had written to the Governor. When I arrived at the library, I found myself in the same room as Tim Kaine, Mark Warner, Jim Webb, and Jim Moran–all government officials. Edie took me by the arm and bulldozed me through the crowd until I was toe-to-toe with Gov. Tim Kaine. I handed him my letter and spoke to him about my issue. He looked like I was handing him a speeding ticket. Long story short, the issue went before the Virginia General Assembly and resulted in action that brought additional educational funds to 900 war orphans through the Virginia Military Survivors and Dependents Education Program. Edie told me it was important to meet him face-to-face. I realized she was right.
On a more personal example of their support, another Gold Star Wife knew my beautiful daughter was getting married and that my son would be walking her down the aisle in his dress blues. Widow to widow, it doesn’t get much more emotional than that. She looked at me and said, “Cough.” I didn’t understand. She said, “When you see them walk down the aisle and you feel the tears coming, cough–it resets your tears and you recover.” Leave it to the Gold Star Wives to be experts on tear management. It worked like a charm and I have photos to prove it!
As wonderful as the Gold Stars are, I hope we never have any new members, but in the end, I know that the Gold Star Wives will be there to help any new members continue on and succeed. In the season of love, join me in recognizing the survivors, the wounded, the Families, and those who are wearing America’s flag today.
True Stories, True Impact
Filed under Staff Stories by jvargas on December 14, 2010 at 12:42 pm {no comments}By Alan Morales, WTC Stratcom
Each wounded warrior I have had the privilege to speak with has a unique experience about their injury and how their experience has impacted their life. These stories bring with them invaluable lessons learned, advice, and perspective for other wounded warriors, and even for me as a civilian.
Just a few weeks ago, an Army wife commented on an AW2 Blog post about the use of journaling as a tool to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). In her comment, she explained that the blog inspired her to share this blog post with her husband who has PTSD. As a result, he began journaling and has quickly noticed the positive impact that journaling has on his life and the lives of his Family members.
I bring up this comment because it’s just one of the many examples of how sharing stories with the AW2 community has helped–and continues to help–others in a dynamic way.
I encourage AW2 Soldiers, Veterans, and their Families to not just take a look at recent blog posts, but also older posts. By doing so, you can take advantage of all the content that is available on the AW2 Blog. Simply type a keyword (e.g., adaptive sports) in the right-hand corner of the Web page, press enter on your keyboard, and a search will return with entries covering your topic of interest. It’s as easy as that.
If you’re an AW2 Soldier, Veteran, or a Family member, share your story on the AW2 Blog. Your story could help another individual in the AW2 community, by providing them inspiration to better their lives. You have this ability.
If you have thoughts or your own stories to share with the AW2 community, please contact warriorcarecommunications@conus.army.mil.