Posts Tagged deployment support
Avoid Financial Pitfalls During Deployment
Posted by in Family Matters on June 11, 2010
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
June 11, 2010
elaine.wilson@dma.mil
My father has been urging me for years to create a budget. I’ve always been more of a “wing it” financially kind of gal, which definitely isn’t the best approach to economic stability.
But in recent years, I’ve changed my thinking, mostly due to the fact that my husband and I have four children, with college expenses looming for one. So we sat down and created a budget, and talked about our long-term goals. It was a lot like the tooth I had pulled a few months ago. Painful but necessary, and I felt a sense of relief after it was over.
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Older Children Need Strong Support
Posted by carol.bowers in Family Matters on March 10, 2010
March 10, 2010
Two recent studies have highlighted the importance of strong support systems, particularly for adolescent children. I wrote about these studies today in the American Forces Press Service article, “Support Helps Children Cope With Deployments.”
Anita Chandra, a behavioral scientist at Rand Corp., and Leonard Wong, a research professor from the Army War College, explained the findings of these studies during testimony before the House Armed Services Committee yesterday.
The two studies focused on military children ages 11 to 17 and both showed that children with a strong non-deployed parent or caregiver and a solid support system have a better ability to cope with deployments, Chandra and Wong told legislators. Read the rest of this entry »
Ward off Holiday Blues
Posted by in Family Matters on December 22, 2009
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Dec. 22, 2009
elaine.wilson@dma.mil
I remember a year when the holiday blues hit me like a ton of bricks. I was a single mom stationed overseas, far from loved ones and friends, and feeling very alone.
My two kids were 18 months and 3 months and much too young catch the holiday spirit, but I figured I’d give it a shot for all of us. I put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving, decorated to the beat of familiar Christmas carols and watched my favorite holiday shows.
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Military Offers Help to Single Parents
Posted by in Family Matters on November 18, 2009
U.S. Marine Capt. Justin Sharpe, the executive officer for Comanche Company, 3rd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion, leads his 8-month-old son Julian across Victory Field at the U.S. Marine Corps Air Combat Center, Twentynine Palms, Calif. The 3rd LAR was returning home after a seven-month deployment to Iraq, Sept. 8, 2009. U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl. Monica Erickson
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Nov. 18, 2009
Elaine.wilson@dma.mil
One of the top headlines yesterday was about a soldier and single mom who was a no-show for a flight to Afghanistan because, she said, she didn’t have anyone to care for her son while she deployed.
Her mom, who originally was supposed to pitch in, had her hands full with caring for other relatives and was unable to commit to a full year of care for her grandson.
The story struck a chord in me. I too had been a single mom while serving in the active duty and I remember that constant tug of war between mission and family.
When I was stationed in Turkey, I vividly recall my everyday struggles to care for my infant son and 18-month-old daughter while also trying to perform with excellence at work. Far away from family and friends, I was just barely holding it together.
But I almost reached my breaking point when my supervisor sat me down one day and told me it was my turn to serve as the on-call public affairs representative for the emergency operations center. I balked at the order. The on-call person could be called in at any time, night or day, and I had two babies at home. I panicked and immediately asked her to give me any other duty, five duties, or 10, anything but that.
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U.S. Flag Draws Navy Family Closer
Posted by carol.bowers in Family Matters on November 11, 2009
By Alison Buckholtz
Nov. 11, 2009
Alison Buckholtz and her children, Ethan and Esther Moran, rush to greet Navy Cmdr. Scott Moran after his seven-month deployment on an aircraft carrier. Courtesy photo
I have a confession: I’ve never flown the flag on Veterans Day before today. I never thought it was necessary, since we always lived in military communities; it seemed somehow redundant. But last summer my two young children and I moved cross-country to the suburbs of Maryland, close to relatives. My husband, Scott, an active-duty Navy pilot, is on a 12-month deployment in Iraq, and after a rough deployment in 2008, we realized that we needed a little extra support. We now live in a civilian community which has welcomed and cared for us.
But we’re different; we’re military. I answer many questions about our peripatetic lifestyle, and try my best to translate one America to the other. We are the only military family most of our neighbors know, and I realize that to them, I’m representative of all military families. Of course, every servicemember is unique, and our family is both similar to and different from others in some important ways. But these distinctions, to civilians, are minor. And so there are certain expectations of us — like flying the flag on national holidays, and especially on Veterans Day.
I was slow in coming to an understanding of the flag. One afternoon, at our last duty station at NAS Whidbey Island, WA, I stepped out of Base Medical with the kids after a routine doctor’s appointment. It was late afternoon, and as we walked outside, I noticed a beautiful sunset bleeding into the orange horizon. Almost as if on cue, I heard the bugle call signaling the lowering of the flag throughout the base.
Families Find Ways to Deal With Deployments
Posted by in Family Matters on October 23, 2009
J.J. (standing) and Elena Gutierrez talk to their father over the Internet Sept. 26, 2009, from Randolph Air Force Base, Texas, while he's deployed to Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. Air Force Staff Sgt. Juan Gutierrez, assigned to the 12th Dental Squadron, and his family use computers, Web cams and microphones to see and hear each other almost daily during his six-month deployment. U.S. Air Force photo by Tech. Sgt. Sonny Cohrs
By Elaine Wilson
Elaine.wilson@dma.mil
Oct. 23, 2009
Last month, I read an article about a Florida woman who takes her boyfriend with her everywhere — on dates, to the beach and to restaurants – in spite of the fact that he’s deployed.
She’s one of the many users of a life-size cardboard cutout of a deployed servicemember sometimes referred to as a “Flat Daddy” or “Flat Mommy.”
I found the concept fascinating. Not only can the Flat Daddy serve as a stand-in, but it also can help keep a deployed loved one connected. Through pictures and video, a deployed dad can still see himself at family events even if he can’t be there in person. In an Ohio National Guard article, one woman raves about her Flat Daddy.
“I have every intention of taking him lots of places and sending him pictures of where he’s been. He won’t feel like he missed much,” she said. “It’ll be helpful for the kids to have him there.”
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Top Army Spouse Expresses Concerns
Posted by in Family Matters on October 8, 2009
Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr. and his wife, Sheila, answer questions at an Association of the U.S. Army family forum in D.C., Oct. 5, 2009. DoD photo by Elaine Wilson
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Elaine.Wilson@dma.mil
Oct. 8, 2009
Yesterday, I wrote about Army Chief of Staff Gen. George W. Casey Jr.’s speech about the future of Army family programs.
Today I’d like to provide the perspective from Casey’s other half -– his wife.
Sheila Casey joined her husband on stage at the Association of the U.S. Army’s family forum Oct. 5. She spoke to the audience, consisting mainly of spouses and family readiness group leaders, as one Army spouse to another.
Her main message was clear: military family members need to take care of themselves or risk burnout.
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Family Photo Album: Moms in Uniform
Posted by in Family Matters on September 30, 2009
U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class Jake Berenguer
Navy Chief Petty Officer Keren M. Lemas’ daughter pins her mother’s anchors on during the 2009 ceremony at Naval Medical Center San Diego, Sept. 19, 2009.
U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Brandon Little
Army Sgt. Kimberly Boodoosingh, a human resources specialist in Headquarters Company, holds a picture of her six children waiting with her husband, Dave Boodoosingh, back in Katterbach, Germany, Aug. 19, 2009. Her oldest daughter, Salina, is helping her husband take care of her siblings while she is deployed.
U.S. Army photo by Spc. Jonathan W. Thomas
Army Sgt. Bianca Paz, a battle non-commissioned officer with the 93rd Military Police Battalion, plays with her son Devon before deploying later that night, Jan. 24, 2009.
Set Goals to Keep Marriage Strong
Posted by in Family Matters on September 28, 2009
Lt. j.g. Matt Johnson from the guided-missile destroyer USS Mahan holds his wife in his arms during homecoming celebrations at Naval Station Norfolk April 9, 2009. U.S. Navy photo by Petty Officer 3rd Class David Danals
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
Elaine.wilson@dma.mil
Sept. 28, 2009
My divorce was one of the toughest experiences of my life. My children were babies at the time and I was terrified of the prospect of single parenting, especially while serving in the military.
Although my husband had left me, I felt a sense of responsibility and guilt for the rifts in our relationship that lingers to this day.
Even now, at 6 and 7, my kids ask me why my ex and I didn’t stay together. I never seem to have the right answer.
I don’t know anyone who enters marriage forecasting divorce, but it’s an unfortunate reality for 50 percent of first marriages in the United States, experts say.
The military is working to curb the divorce rate among its ranks. Each service offers programs – ranging from support groups to weekend retreats — through family-support, chaplain or mental health counseling networks.
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Children Need Support Through Deployments
Posted by in Family Matters on September 25, 2009
Jovanni Addison, 7, displays a photo of his father, who is deployed to Afghanistan (U.S. Army photo by Brittany Carlson)
By Elaine Wilson, AFPS
elaine.wilson@dma.mil
Sept. 23, 2009
About two years ago, I signed up for a two-month training class in Maryland. I was excited about the opportunity, but dreaded leaving my kids behind in San Antonio.
My children, 4 and 5 at the time, were understandably upset. They didn’t quite grasp the concept of months versus years, and latched on to the idea that mom was going away for a very, very long time.
While gone, my husband and I hooked up our Web cams and I chatted with the kids online every day. But they missed me and never let me forget it for a minute, particularly on Halloween when my husband fell asleep and almost slept through trick-or-treat time.
And that separation was only two months long. It’s hard to imagine being separated for a year or more with countless missed birthdays, holidays, recitals and sporting events. But that’s a reality military families face each day. And it’s compounded by the fact that loved ones possibly are heading into harm’s way.
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