You think you’ve got it bad. Check out the nonsense I have to put up with.
If you remember, last week I wrote about taking advantage of the golf course while it is still here and highlighting one of its long-time employees, Doug Dehner.
The following showed up in my inbox Monday and truly shows how friends like Doug repay my kindheartedness.
Jibber Jabber,
In an effort to correct the errors in your recent article, “Still time for a final round,” allow me to provide you with the facts.
I did not come to Fort Meade via New York City, but did arrive from Fort Devens, Mass. and it was almost 47 years ago. Your obvious stigma with the use of “old” to describe someone mature is slanted. … Your description of our first tee shots was an example of the liberty you seem to indulge. Mine was at least 25 feet, and yours was slightly off the fairway, in the rough.
The banter you describe was a try on my part to get your mind off your terrible shots. Obviously, I failed in my attempt because you continued to hit them. After all is written and foolish statements made, we had a great time! Let’s do it again!!!!!!!!
Yes, he literally used eight exclamation points.
Now, I do need to apologize for the errors – the only ones being that he arrived from Fort Devens and not New York City, and that he came to the area nearly 47 years ago. He only started working at Fort Meade 13 years ago. My account of our initial tee shots was dead-on, and in my defense, I do not recall any reference to Fort Devens.
However, as a journalist, I am responsible for what I print. And as a man, it is my responsibility to admit my mistakes and apologize appropriately.
The problem, as I’m sure Doug will point out, is that there is no set standard for an appropriate apology.
Case in point: Florida Marlins Manager Ozzie Guillen. Ever since he opened his mouth and professed his love for Fidel Castro — a monumental gaffe for anyone, but especially a man who was hired to curry favor with the largest Cuban community in the United States — Guillen has been apologizing more than a dentist who just told you he pulled the wrong tooth.
Of course, what Guillen said was a lot more hurtful, especially when you consider the justifiable vitriol so many Cuban Americans have toward Castro.
And on Tuesday, Guillen seemed to recognize that when he stood up and gave a nearly five-minute, bilingual mea culpa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJUboaQGtxw&feature=related.
I completely understand that Guillen’s apology may not be enough to quell the disdain in Little Havana. What I do not get is why it is not enough to quell the media’s fascination with kicking a man while he is down.
Within five minutes of the apology you saw commentators judging it as if Guillen was auditioning for American Idol. Was he sincere enough, why didn’t he cry, why didn’t he comment on his five-game suspension or willfully allow himself to be tarred and feathered in front of City Hall?
Nearly everybody had an opinion about what he didn’t say or could have said better, but no one seemed to give him credit for what he did say.
Apologizing is hard, and when you are a public figure, it is nearly impossible because the public seems to have its own standards for what is genuine.
Some need tears to be convinced, others need direct eye contact. So to help you decide if an apology is good or not, here are a few other examples to judge Guillen’s against. Plus, these may be useful for you one day.
For example, if you ever bite someone’s ear in the heat of battle, you might be able to use this gem from Iron Mike:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vnfJgcs5s4
Maybe you like something a little more scripted like this gem from El Tigre: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs8nseNP4s0
And when all else fails, you can always turn to Tebow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLc25o8V5aE
Human nature, envy and skepticism will never allow us to be completely satisfied.
I bet our friend Doug is judging my apology right now. Sorry buddy, Microsoft Word doesn’t have a symbol for tears – real or alligator.
