United States Department of Veterans Affairs
MIRECC Centers

Help Your Veteran

 
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HELP YOUR VETERAN
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You can help by being informed about some of the following topics: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), family reintegration, combat stresses, depression, alcohol and drug use. Our Resources page has links to good information on these and other topics.
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Often the best thing for families is to talk openly about thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This will let you work together. This includes concerns you have about how the Veteran is feeling or reacting to situations. It is easy for your worries to come across as criticisms—this happens when we use the word “you,” as in, “You need to do something about your life.” Instead, express your support or concern. Try saying, “I know things are not going well right now, but know that I’d like to help.”
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Mental health care is helpful only if your Service Member or Veteran makes that decision for him or herself. Someone can accept making changes only when he or she truly feels there is a choice. “Demanding” someone seek help can backfire, making him or her less likely to go for help. Avoid giving threats. Try not to say, “You need to go for help, or else.” Talk about choices. You can say, “I know it’s your call whether you go to see somebody, but if there’s something I can do to help, let me know.” Only the individual person can make the choice and commitment to improve their lives, but your support can make this more likely.
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Taking care of yourself is helpful in several ways: you have the most to give when you are doing well, you can make the best decisions, and you provide a good example to your Veteran when you make good health decisions. Taking care of yourself can include getting enough sleep, eating well, getting help from friends or your church, and getting professional help such as a counselor or therapist.

“I want to thank you for being there when I needed someone to talk to. My son has gone to his local VA and gotten registered and is seeing a counselor.”