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Suspicious device found outside a bank on Dynamite Blvd |
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Bank of Canada won't discuss new melty $100 bills because of [shakes Magic 8 ball...] national security |
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Bizarre pictures show 19th Century 'photoshopping'. Pixels Schmixels |
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Clinton discharged. This is not a repeat from 1998 |
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Photoshop this snow throw |
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Suitcase full of frozen lobster returned to its rightful owner |
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A third wave blitz of tax tsunami will wash over Americans with a cavalcade of unintended consequences and badly mixed metaphors |
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Here's a really great idea that's sure to get us tons of great publicity: Let's invite the relatives of the Aurora massacre victims to the grand re-opening of the movie theater in which their loved ones perished |
| (Some Desperate Real Estate Agent) |
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House not selling? Throw in the baby and we have a deal (see photos) |
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OMG like, there's hardly any traffic..yeah, I know. it was awesome. Hold on. WHT R U DOIN? NUTTN. JES DRIVIN. So anyway, (slurp, glug glug), like Jason was being such a pain, ya know...what is that? Go AWAY...Stoopid drivers with their lights |
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The most important question of 2013 answered: Can zombies get drunk? |
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Cops raid cockfight in progress. 12 arrested, sticky |
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"Water appeared to be pouring into the Electric Fetus" |
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Getting Robocalls? If so, you could get $50,000 by reporting the menace |
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Photoshop this board balance |
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We all get sick and tired of hearing excuses, here are 5 popular ones that do not have any meaning at all |
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The 2013 disease that will wipe out the human race is: *drum roll* MALARIA |
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Face of Jesus appears on a door in a church in South Carolina, officials say they must remove the nails and doorknob of thorns before the door can be replaced |
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Englishman wakes up from a stroke only able to speak fluent Welsh, a language he barely knew before. Well at least they THINK it's Welsh, it could be he's just still having the stroke, it's kinda hard to tell |
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Florida lawmakers claim they didn't communicate with lobbyists before important vote, fail to realize that text messages count as communication |
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Man accused of pointing laser at sheriff's helicopter admits he was "just being dumb." No one disagrees |
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Saudi religious leaders call for gang rape to meet needs of fighters in Syria. But slow down there fellas, they must be over 14 and divorced or widowed |
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Ronald Reagan's 1956 "Home of the Future" for sale. $5 million. Has state-of-the-art garbage disposal, windows, nice bomb shelter |
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Iran upgrades to Photoshop 2.0 |
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Florida zoo to feature zip line over the tiger habitat. What could go wrong? |
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Identical twins do a lot of things together, like go shopping, wear the same clothes, give birth on the same day |
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Q: What's better than putting large googly eyes on random objects? A: Putting large blinking googly eyes on random objects |
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You know the stripper deserves a little something extra when she attempts a stunt during a lapdance and ends up in the hospital in critical condition |
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Spirit Airlines plane clips the tail of another plane. Oh great, here come a rudder fee |
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The increase in deer in Britain has caused a lack of shrubbery, especially ones only slightly higher than the other so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle |
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There comes a time in every man's life when he asks himself the big questions. Who am I? Why am I here? Why is the car parked up on top of our neighbor's car? |
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Not News: Person pays for next persons coffee in drive through. Fark: Chain of Random Act of Kindness lasts for 3 hours and 228 orders |
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More than a century after Carrie Nation started the Temperance Movement, Kansas may allow liquor to be sold in grocery stores. Your move, Pennsylvania |
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Robots don't destroy jobs, though they do steal pills from senior citizens |
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Six year old suspended for bringing assault finger to school |
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Pay no attention to the armed guard in the classroom, citizen |
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The ménage à trois was going swimmingly. Then the baseball bat came out |
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Turn off your mind, relax, and float down stream. You are not dying, you are just toking at the Pot Club |
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Chavez conscious, still able to fight off pillow |
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Man punched female driver at traffic light, got naked, laid down in road. Typical Florida New Year's celebration |
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How can you avoid spreading the flu? Perhaps President Madagascar has some thoughts on the matter |
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Amazon reviewers call the revolutionary Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer the greatest thing since the wheel, penicillin or the iPhone |
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To all my fellow Port Authority Bus Terminal riders, I'm sorry we had the beans special last night -- Love, NJ |
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Would you like to see the Eiffel Tower...made out of bacon? |
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Colleges are now helping students scrub their online footprints before graduation, so feel free to post those pictures from when you blew an entire frathouse to ring in the new year |
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Photoshop this big brain |
| (Some Guy) |
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Link to a story in an Irish newspaper? That'll be €300, please, because they own the copyright to a link to their material. It'd take a lot of TotalFarkers to pay for that |
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Samsung unveils Roomba-like robot vacuum that conquers corners with the help of pop-out spinning blades... er, BRUSHES. Brushes. Definitely not blades. Sorry for the confusion. Please resume your lack of concern about domestic death robots |
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New BBC documentary reveals what Neil Armstrong actually saiYOU SHOULD KILL US ALL ON SIGHTd |
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Mother gives her son an iPhone and a lesson in life |
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Cake for EVERYBODY |
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Drunken indoor frisbee with Mom never ends well |
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PROTIP: If you're growing 110 marijuana plants in your spare bedroom, you probably should think twice about calling the police to report a home invasion |
| (Some Guy) |
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News: Print names and addresses of gun owners. Fark: Hire armed guards to protect your newspaper office |
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High-fructose corn syrup - is there nothing it can't do? |
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Please, please, please let this be true |
| (PIX11) |
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Guy asks liquor store clerk to watch his infant, while he runs out for a smoke. Hours later, he finally returns, drunk. Clerk actually gives him baby back. Guy proceeds to go lay down in middle of street with baby |
