Nov
30
Dan getting Rather delirious
Filed Under Doug Powers | 1 Comment
Dan Rather, quoted in the Hollywood Reporter: “Ed Murrow’s ghost is here. I’ve seen him and talked to him on the third floor of this building many times late at night. And I can tell you that he’s watching over us.” Dan must be loopy on phony document printing press fumes. I have it on [...]
Nov
30
If it doesn't fit, Jesse should git!
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
When Jesse Jackson shows up, you know you can rest easy, because everything will be made fair. Okay, with that laugh out of the way… The Reverend-who-should-read-the-Ten-Commandments-more-often is disputing the counting of votes in Ohio because it must have been crooked. The reason? Kerry lost. Yep, we’re back to the “disenfranchised voter” thing, which basically [...]
Nov
30
If it doesn’t fit, Jesse should git!
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
When Jesse Jackson shows up, you know you can rest easy, because everything will be made fair. Okay, with that laugh out of the way… The Reverend-who-should-read-the-Ten-Commandments-more-often is disputing the counting of votes in Ohio because it must have been crooked. The reason? Kerry lost. Yep, we’re back to the “disenfranchised voter” thing, which basically [...]
Nov
29
On the lighter side, for the first time visitors
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
In addition to my stabs at political humor in my weekly column, I write greeting cards for American Greetings, and, when I have a bit of free time combined with a lack of REM sleep, I also write parody news stories, just to stay in the humor mindset. The latter doesn’t pay at all, but [...]
Nov
29
Letter from another happy customer
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
David R. is thrilled that I wrote about Dan Rather: Nobody out here gives a care about Dan Rather. Only you columinists do for some reason. When he first came on the air we all knew he was a big blowhard promoted by the stations. We never liked listened to or paid any attention to [...]
Nov
29
Nobody's "failed upward" more than you, Babs
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Barbra Streisand’s at it again, blasting Condoleeza Rice as someone who has “failed upward.” Babs says that Condi has “been judged by **experts as ‘one of the weakest National Security Advisors in recent history’.” (**Chances are these “experts” are James Brolin and her hairdresser…assuming they’re not one in the same) I’m noticing a distinct change [...]
Nov
29
Nobody’s “failed upward” more than you, Babs
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
Barbra Streisand’s at it again, blasting Condoleeza Rice as someone who has “failed upward.” Babs says that Condi has “been judged by **experts as ‘one of the weakest National Security Advisors in recent history’.” (**Chances are these “experts” are James Brolin and her hairdresser…assuming they’re not one in the same) I’m noticing a distinct change [...]
Nov
28
O'Reilly proves that we tend to support charities closest to home
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
Dan Rather has many sympathetic defenders after his phony National Guard document fiasco. In a Saturday Boston Herald op-ed, Bill O’Reilly believes that Dan Rather “made a mistake… but is not dishonest”, a line Bill himself has no doubt been repeating often in private circles ever since the debut of “The Phone Sex Factor”, and [...]
Nov
28
O’Reilly proves that we tend to support charities closest to home
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
Dan Rather has many sympathetic defenders after his phony National Guard document fiasco. In a Saturday Boston Herald op-ed, Bill O’Reilly believes that Dan Rather “made a mistake… but is not dishonest”, a line Bill himself has no doubt been repeating often in private circles ever since the debut of “The Phone Sex Factor”, and [...]
Nov
27
Beer goggles & fertitlity drugs running rampant
Filed Under Doug Powers | Leave a Comment
The number of women over the age of 40 giving birth exceeded 100,000 for the first time in 2003. There were 1,512 first time mothers between the ages of 45 and 54 last year as well. An inevitable corresponding increase in consumption of fertility drugs, Viagra, and booze is soon to be reported, no doubt. [...]