Nov

30

Understatement of the Day

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If you’re in Indiana, watch for deer falling from the sky. Here’s why the deer are getting so freaky: Late fall is stressful for deer because it is hunting season, said DNR spokesman Phil Bloom. Really? I just thought they were nervous because it’s almost time to take their SAT’s.

Nov

29

Public Safety Alert!

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##THIS MESSAGE TRIGGERED BY THE CHARLIE SHEEN EMERGENCY ALERT SYSTEM(tm)## I tend to joke around a bit here and try not to take things too seriously, but this is one of those times I’m going to have to be entirely somber and put public safety above any selfish need for business as usual. This is [...]

Nov

29

MoveOn.org Meeting: Frights of the Round Table

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Below is some footage from an upper west side of Manhattan meeting of MoveOn.org, post Obama victory. I’d call it a “strategy session” but that would be like referring to a Three Stooges movie “Shakespearean theater.” Take the dumbest, most irritating meeting you’ve ever been involved in and then add a bunch of vacuous harpy [...]

Nov

28

Not Wild About Harry

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CBS News’ Harry Smith was discussing the terrorist attacks in India when he either mis-spoke or made a Freudian slip. You decide. Here’s what Harry said, via Newsbusters: …they [terrorists] were perpetrating their attacks in the beginning, they were clearly, they said, were looking for British citizens, were looking for American citizens. Sadly, so many [...]

Nov

27

Happy Thanksgiving All

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As the turkey and beer cunningly conspire to force me into a three-hour nap at four o’clock in the afternoon, and the Detroit Lions stumble and fumble their way toward a dozen losses and a still-perfect record, I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving! Being able to write is a blessing, but it wouldn’t mean [...]

Nov

27

A Choice Holiday Gift

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Planned Parenthood of Indiana is selling gift certificates. This goes right up there with the National Organization for Women selling “Keep abortion legal” bracelets for Mother’s Day (nothing tells mom “Hey, thanks for not murdering me in the womb” like a NOW bracelet). When I first read the Planned Parenthood gift certificate story, I wasn’t [...]

Nov

26

Just Because You Don’t See Shrimp on a Treadmill Nearly Enough These Days…

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News flash: Healthy shrimp perform better on a treadmill than diseased shrimp. Wait. Shrimp on a treadmill? Uh huh: People actually get paid to think of these things. I went into the wrong line of work. What they’re not showing you in the video is what’s just outside the tank that makes the shrimp run [...]

Nov

26

‘It’s Not a Good Thing’: Martha Stewart Horrified by Palin Turkey Slaughter

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The feathers continue to fly over the big Sarah Palin turkey slaughter — Butterball’s answer to Little Bighorn. We can add Martha Stewart to the list of people who didn’t like it one bit. If you missed it, the slaughter in question took place in the background of an interview of the Alaska Governor and [...]

Nov

25

Ann Coulter’s Jaw Wired Shut: Thanksgiving Comes Early for the Left

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Liberals give thanks, then give more thanks just before giving even more thanks, but they seem to forget that if Coulter is speaking less, she’ll be writing more, and that’s the venue from which she topples the most liberal card houses. In other words, she’ll still be able to make jaws drop even with hers [...]

Nov

25

Onion Break

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Bush Pardons Scooter Libby in Giant Turkey Costume

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