Blondes don’t lead naturally charmed lives. Oh sure, we got no ish standing over a subway grate and giggling as our skirts rise, but our souls are dark, our pasts tortured, and our ideologies seriously borked.
May we suggest
Sara Schaefer
in
Entertainment /
MTV's Newest Talk Show Host Sara Schaefer Tells xoJane How She Hired Her Writing Staff And Dispels The Gender Gap Myth
MTV's Newest Star Sara Schaefer On How to Make It In Comedy Writing
Fun
Relationships
He doesn’t adore me, unconditionally or otherwise, but that hasn’t stopped me from developing feelings for him. Feelings I’ve never felt for a cat before.
Family Drama
It’s frustrating when something is just a fact and you can’t call it out as anti-feminist propaganda.
It Happened To Me
Today, or sometime around today, is an anniversary that I felt in my body before the why came to mind. Around this time, in 2010, a good friend of mine took her own life. She was 27 years old.
Beauty
Excuse the terrible hair -- but BEHOLD! Pink lips!
Healthy
One piece of red velvet cake is 14 points. See you at dinner, real food!
Issues
I wish and hope and pray that my son won’t grow up to be a rapist.
Family Drama
My mother has had a passion for nutrition for as far back as I can remember. We didn't eat white bread. My brother and I weren't allowed to eat cereal for breakfast if one of the first three ingredients was sugar, which naturally eliminated everything our friends were munching on.
It Happened To Me
I used to point out all the stupid shit that I saw other cyclists do. After about the third death this year, I stopped. I didn’t want to give any more ammo to those who rush to blame the victim.
It Happened To Me
Don’t I deserve a little time to be single and unafraid and strong and independent and all those other things Kelly Clarkson sings about?
Beauty
I like my nails long and hard, like my men.
Entertainment
I think that hiring writers is a built-in fantasy for any comedian. Because naturally, if you’re the one doing the hiring, it means you got THE job, so yeah, it’s a mind-blower.
Family Drama
You will suffer this psychotic laughter at very inopportune moments. Like when you are watching Rue die in "The Hunger Games" in a crowded theater on opening weekend.
Fashion
Yes, Virginia, there really is such a thing as boot jewelry.
Fun
Because then the horrible memories of being shunned by the BFF jewelry police back in the day might finally go away.
It Happened To Me
At 37, I was left with a broken heart and an awakened urge to spawn. Those two things together make dating difficult.
Jane's Phone
Look what I get to eat tonight! And I get to help chop vegetables inpreparation…
Beauty
When I was a beauty intern, I stayed very quiet when other people were talking, and I picked up some knowledge.
Entertainment
I knew that women had sex by putting a penis up in there somewhere, so I figured that’s what Nikki was doing with the magazine -– she’d rolled it up and was, like, doing herself with it.
Entertainment
Every time one of these op-eds is published, it serves as a reminder that children who experience hardship are freakish and weird, and that childhood should be a happy, unicorn and rainbow-filled place.
Fun
Everything you ever wanted to know about poker, casinos, betting on horses and, erm, bingo but were afraid to ask
Relationships
As a single girl, I’m thrilled when my friends break up with their boyfriends, not because I hate their men, but because I need to get out of the house.
Beauty
The whole week I was wearing it, I kept rubbing my thumbs over my nails because the texture is so weird and fun, it kind of made my nipples hard.
Issues
As Indian protesters demand justice for a 23-year-old student who died after being brutally gang-raped on a bus in the Capital, feminist-writer-journalist-teacher Anna MM Vetticad tells us that the city’s public spaces remain shockingly unsafe for women.
Healthy
For all the glory we place on being thin, let me tell you, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.
Relationships
When I go home, I revert to a skinny, awkward, acne-riddled girl attempting to straddle the line between living as a normal, sassy, rebellious American teenager, and the obedient, overachieving first generation child of immigrant parents.
