REPRISED: I Want My Al-TV, part 2: Money for Nothing

Bumped from yesterday, in case you missed this excellent performance by the Algor-rhythms

Due to unexpected assignments around the Big White, I will be unable to provide a further post today. Will be back tomorrow with further updates on the status of Al-Teevera. Please enjoy this replay.

Our Al-TV Qatar hero shows us how it’s done: please turn on your traveling music.

Money For Nothing: Dire Straits

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the AL-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb

Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install some microwave ovens

Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's

See the little faggot with the earring and the make-up
Yeah buddy that's his own hair

That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators

We gotta move these color TV's

I shoulda' learned to play the guitar
I shoulda' learned to play them drums

Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera
Man we could have some fun

And he's up there, what's that ? Hawaiian noises ?

Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

We gotta install ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's, Lord

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the Al-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' get your chicks for free

Money for nothin' get chicks for free

Oh yeah, boyz, that’s soooo the way you do it.

I Want My Al-TV, part 1

Well how about that little Goreacle?

When he made a gazillion dollars by creating the Church of Global Warming and setting up a convenient donation program by selling carbon credits (which were created, quite literally, out of thin air), we thought it was a fluke. We just assumed this logic and truth challenged  old lug was just the luckiest man in the world to have stumbled on so many riches.

We may have been wrong. By selling his nascent Current TV network to Al-Jazeera he has clearly moved into mogul deal-making status.  

Q: is Al Gore now wealthy enough to officially be maligned as part of the hated 1%

A: Of course not, he’s a well-intentioned liberal.

And it’s okay to make a buck by any means possible as long as you have good intentions. 

Gore’s post-vice presidential work has notably centered around reducing greenhouse gas emissions and other green causes. The former vice president will pocket an estimated $100 million on the sale. According to the New York Times, which first broke the story Wednesday, Gore wanted to complete the sale before Jan. 1, 2013 to avoid getting slammed with higher taxes.

It’s not that there weren’t other suitors who wanted to buy the system. It’s just that Glen Beck TV is no where near as ideologically aligned with Al-TV as Al-Jazeera TV is.

The Wall Street Journal reported Wednesday that Glenn Beck’s the Blaze inquired about buying Current last year, but was rejected due to ideological differences. Current leadership told the Blaze at the time that ”the legacy of who the network goes to is important to us.” Beck confirmed the inquiry late Wednesday.

Current TV co-founder Joel Hyatt explains:

When considering the several suitors who were interested in acquiring Current, it became clear to us that Al Jazeera was founded with the same goals we had for Current: To give voice to those whose voices are not typically heard; to speak truth to power; to provide independent and diverse points of view; and to tell the important stories that no one else is telling. Al Jazeera, like Current, believes that facts and truth lead to a better understanding of the world around us.

No, really. He said that. And people wonder why guns are flying off the shelves of gun stores?

Oh, and that reminds me: I’m sure you’ve seen the viral email from Corporal Joshua Boston, USMC, to Senator Diane Feinstein:

Senator Dianne Feinstein,

I will not register my weapons should this bill be passed, as I do not believe it is the government’s right to know what I own. Nor do I think it prudent to tell you what I own so that it may be taken from me by a group of people who enjoy armed protection yet decry me having the same a crime. You ma’am have overstepped a line that is not your domain. I am a Marine Corps Veteran of 8 years, and I will not have some woman who proclaims the evil of an inanimate object, yet carries one, tell me I may not have one.

I am not your subject. I am the man who keeps you free. I am not your servant. I am the person whom you serve. I am not your peasant. I am the flesh and blood of America.

I am the man who fought for my country. I am the man who learned. I am an American. You will not tell me that I must register my semi-automatic AR-15 because of the actions of some evil man.

I will not be disarmed to suit the fear that has been established by the media and your misinformation campaign against the American public.

We, the people, deserve better than you.

Respectfully Submitted,
Joshua Boston
Cpl, United States Marine Corps
2004-2012

Well, at least he didn’t call her “Ma’am” – that would have been disrespectful.

So anyway, getting back to the Goreacle, I wonder what we should call him, now that he’s a big time deal mogul? I turn to Sir Winston Churchill for guidance. You may recall how he previously assisted another member of Congress struggling with “that conscience thing” by eloquently explaining how one’s conscience can be assuaged as long as the price is right:

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?
Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill! Well, I suppose – we would have to discuss terms, naturally.
Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?
Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!
Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.

Joel Hyatt continued explaining his justification for selling to the highest bidder:

Al and I did significant due diligence as part of our evaluation process. We were impressed with all that we learned about Al Jazeera and its journalistic integrity, global reach, award-winning programming, and growing influence around the world. That influence has recently been demonstrated by Al Jazeera’s important and impactful coverage of the Arab Spring, which was widely credited as being the most thorough and informative coverage from any media company. Colin Powell told Al that Al Jazeera is the only cable news network he watches.

And I understand it they’re going to produce roughly 60 percent of the programming in the United States. Excellent! Now at least we’ll no longer have to go off-shore to get our terrorist propaganda.

So I suggest you all just sit back, relax and enjoy I want my Al-TV part 2; in which our Qatar hero demonstrates how to get  Money for Nothing.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

I Want My Al-TV, part 2: Money for Nothing

Our Al-TV Qatar hero shows us how it’s done: please turn on your traveling music.

Money For Nothing: Dire Straits

 

Now look at them yo-yo's that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the AL-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and chicks for free

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb

Maybe get a blister on your little finger
Maybe get a blister on your thumb

We gotta install some microwave ovens

Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's

See the little faggot with the earring and the make-up
Yeah buddy that's his own hair

That little faggot got his own jet airplane
That little faggot he's millionaire

We gotta install microwave ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators

We gotta move these color TV's

I shoulda' learned to play the guitar
I shoulda' learned to play them drums

Look at that mama, she got it stickin' in the camera
Man we could have some fun

And he's up there, what's that ? Hawaiian noises ?

Bangin' on the bongos like a chimpanzee

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Get your money for nothin' get your chicks for free

We gotta install ovens
Custom kitchen deliveries
We gotta move these refrigerators
We gotta move these color TV's, Lord

Now that ain't workin' that's the way you do it
You play the guitar on the Al-TV

That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' get your chicks for free

Money for nothin' get chicks for free

 

Oh yeah, boyz, that’s soooo the way you do it.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Bi-cameral WINNING! That’s not Bi-polar, that’s Bi-Winning.

My, we’re certainly feeling our tiger blood today aren’t we?

            

Odd, I didn’t think that Charlie Sheen would still be relevant on any level in 2013. Butt like they say, there’s nothing like the smell of WINNING in the morning. And apparently it doesn’t matter whether you’re stoned or not.

          

How can you not WIN when you’re made of tiger blood and Adonis DNA? That’s a potent formula guaranteed to bring your weak enemies to their knees, bowing to the Great Obama at last.

Finally, Big Guy’s made the greedy, rich, evil Republicans see the world through his eyes:

From each according to his means, to each according to his ego’s need

Congratulations Barack! Now that you’ve WON-WON, what are you going to do?

“I’m going to Hawaii!!! To finish my vacay, play a little golf, have a little ‘me-time.’ Woo-hoo!!!”

“Don’t worry though, I’ll be working on getting that debt ceiling raised all the way there.”

Just before departing on Air Force Won to complete his well earned second Christmas vacation, Big Guy issued the following statement:

“For the first time in 20 years, Congress will have acted on a bipartisan basis to vote for significant new revenue.

“This means millionaires and billionaires will pay their fair share to reduce the deficit through a combination of permanent tax rate increases and reduced tax benefits.”

Only two problems there: millionaires and billionaires are already paying more than their “fair” share; and it’s not going to reduce the deficit. Other than that, it totally looks like a WINNING strategy – if your strategy is to be more like Greece. Or France.

So, 2013 is off and running; promising another fun-packed year of political hijinks. Just to kick things off, I’m awarding my first political-snark-of-the-year award to Louie Gohmert for his compliment to his Democratic colleagues yesterday as they passed the first bi-annual fiscal cliff avoidance bill:

10:07 p.m. ET - On the House floor, Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas thanks Democrats for "finally recognizing that 98% of Americans were helped by the Bush tax cuts." The fiscal cliff bill will extend the Bush-era tax breaks for households making under $450,000 per year and individuals making under $400,000 per year.

That certainly locks all Congressional Democrats into contention for WINNING the 2013  “I was against the bill, before I was for it” award.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!