But if he did, he might write something like this.

Attorney General Martha Coakley and Police Commissioner Ed Davis today announced the indictments of 15 people on charges they ran a cocaine and pot distribution ring unafraid to use guns against rivals.

Davis said at a press conference today that the Magnolia Steelers gang was responsible for dozens of shootings. The arrest of eight alleged members over the past few months was a major cause of a 22% reduction in shootings in Boston this year, he said. The latest city stats show Boston has seen 159 shootings through Oct. 5 of this year, compared to 201 in the same period last year.

Sporting News makes the claim.

Location

The Scrub-a-Dub at 25 W. Howell St., reported around 4:45 p.m., Local 718 tweets. Fire reported knocked down around 5:10 p.m.

Geeky Mama summarizes a state Department of Public Health report on the Agassiz elementary school, where staffers have reported headaches and respiratory issues and students have a higher-than-average rate of asthma.

Dan Kennedy notes the Globe story on the guy in the Tony Manero suit (except in black) who would buy the paper.

A group called TransitWorks is working with the MBTA to collect data on rider experiences on the T in November. Volunteers will fill out an online questionnaire on their rides each day and "detail everything from type of service used to the comfort and crowding on the vehicle." Become a Charlie.

Via.

The Globe reports that Martha Coakley's office says it is now "involved" in Secretary of State Bill Galvin's effort to get City Hall to recover and turn over all those deleted e-mail messages.

Boston Police tweet the Sovereign Bank branch at 1443 Dorchester Ave. was held up this morning by a man who showed a note, got money, then fled on foot.

Fire crews, State Police on scene at 1 Pemberton Sq. to deal with white powder.

Wicked Local Allston/Brighton reports that at-large Council candidate Tomas Gonzalez has an idea for City Hall Plaza: A community vegetable garden, at least until the city finally figures out what to do with the barren stretch of brick:

Karen Sutton explains how a be-robed Governor of the Commonwealth came by to help her son clean up at the State House yesterday.

Earlier:
Sometimes the third graders are a bit more combative.

Harry Mattison posts copies of BRA correspondence related to the Charlesview project that he got under a public-records request. As is usual with such stuff, the BRA gave him photocopies of printouts of the e-mail, rather than, oh, a CD with text.

Just in the first couple of pages, it's interesting to see BRA hostility toward a neighborhood group.

Because trolleys check in, but they don't check out. Yes, another day, another disabled trolley at Government Center.

Timothy Parcell tweets:

Sitting in this tunnel for 30 minutes is awesome. Thank you mbta this just how I wanted to start day.

Carissa DiCenzo adds:

Stuck on a train at Government Center. I love you MBTA.

Mike Ball reminds us of all the stories circling around Boston, most of which seem unlikely to affect upcoming elections:

• The Mayor's top aide deleting thousands of emails, including those likely relating to subjects of federal corruption cases.
• A mayoral candidate with a long history as Council president in foiling public access to public meetings and records.
• A Senate candidate who refused to prosecute or even investigate corruption.
• A Councilor running for re-election under federal corruption indictment.

Jen reports on a recent visit to the North End restaurant:

... Their chefs definitely know what they are doing and can execute excellent dishes. The downside? The menu is not very large, and it's a bit pricey. Even though we really enjoyed our meal there, in the end we both agreed that our favorite restaurant in North End is still Prezza. Being pasta lovers, we were a bit sad that there were only a few pasta choice on this menu. Nevertheless, this is still an excellent restaurant and definitely worth trying. ...

Faculty Meeting Lacks Usual Cookies (no, that is not an Onion headline):

The first Faculty meeting of the year kicked off without a regular staple: cookies to complement professors' tea and coffee.

"This is the first time in modern times with no cookies," Faculty Council member Harry R. Lewis '68 said as he held a white mug of tea. "We are sharing the pain with the undergraduates."

Dr. Gwenn tries to dampen rising hysteria over swine-flu shots:

... Sometimes as parents we have to stop over thinking a situation and do what we have to in order to keep our children safe. I believe this is one of those situations. Instead of questioning data and acting out of fear, we need to start trusting the doctors and scientists working hard to keep our communities safe. After all, they have families and children, too.

My entire family is getting H1N1 this year. I believe in this vaccine and its safety. Please consider doing the same for your kids ...

Boston Police tweet the fire hazmat unit responded to St. Mary's Street on the Brookline line around 5:30 a.m. for a hydrogen leak. No one was injured and no evacuation was needed.

Fire crews also raced to the center on Friday when an alarm indicated a possible leak of the explosive gas.

John Carroll sat amazed last night as he watched Rhondella Richardson narrate a report on swine flu with a face mask on - because she was standing outside the house of somebody who apparently had it. Or as he puts it:

A surgical mask?

Really?

When Richardson was nowhere near the maybe-infected family?

Really really pathetic.

With the announcement of a "Real Housewives of DC," Boston Family LIfe is starting to feel left out:

... I don't know about you, but I would be very curious to find out about what goes on behind those curtains in some of those houses with the view of the Charles River, and a terrace on top of a garage. ...

The Globe reports Michael Kineavy is stepping down, at least for awhile.

Baby scally caps now in stock.

George goes into the marsh with a camera.