Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian

Shredding sadness

by CynthiaYockey on January 5, 2013

Turning blockers into boosters, day 5: This morning I was enthusiastic about clearing clutter from the living room and den but had an instant change in my priorities when I found a flea on our cat, Polar Bear. One of my perennial blockers is the experience of an emergency, illness or even death of a loved one happening at exactly the time when I was happily about to do something for my own progress: so very, very “It’s a Wonderful Life,” where James Stewart has to deal with a crisis just as he was about to fulfill one of his own dreams. (By the way, I am aware that my loved ones do not die on purpose to thwart me or steal focus.)

Luckily, I remembered that in the extensive Q&A forum available to me as a graduate of Stuart Lichtman’s Super Achievement Coaching Program,* one of the questions was posed by a man having the same experience: something seemed to come out of the blue to torpedo his plans so often he was practically suicidal. Stuart walked him through using a process he describes in his e-book called the Base Reframe. So that was the process I should have reviewed and done today, but, um, the cats have been scatttering and tearing up those papers so the little table and work area I dedicated to that will take at least an hour to get organized and orderly again. That’s part of the de-cluttering I have planned for the next few days. The “torpedo out of the blue” blocker does make me despair, so I’m at least glad to know I have tools I can use to clear that pattern. It beats feeling helpless and hapless.

In the meantime, I was off the to vet for some Frontline. I cared for my father and did chores in the afternoon. In the evening when I finally got back to my de-cluttering project, I needed to clear a space on the bookshelves in my father’s office and found a stack of folders of old financial records. So I spent the evening trying to listen to a Downton Abbey marathon over the sound of a shredder. As I destroyed the documents with the intention of letting go of the past, I had the sense of shredding the sadness in them, and of clearing the way for achievements and prosperity.

I hope as I continue this project that I will be able to gather a group of dear gentle readers to be a mastermind group, sharing experiences and encouraging one another. I haven’t quite sorted out how to do that and would welcome reactions and suggestions.

*If the SACP is too pricey, I’ve also taken the Dream Achiever Program and it is excellent.

If you buy any of the products linked here, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you, for which I will be grateful. And you will receive products I personally use and find extremely helpful in overcoming adversity and achieving my goals.

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The laundry room door revelation

by CynthiaYockey on January 4, 2013

Turning blockers into boosters, day 4: I didn’t do any blocker-transforming processes today. I figure the blocker to clear for that has to do with going to bed on time — I was up until 2 am reading conservative blogs, which meant I got up late and had trouble getting going. I spent most of the day doing errands.

But this evening I was able easily to do a project that I have been blocked on since I moved back home with my father over six years ago — chisel out bit of the laundry room door frame so I could move the latch hole and strike plate down 3/8 inch so the door will close. When my anxiety disorder had me totally in its grip, I’d have been too frightened to do this. But this week, I checked Google for advice and came up with a plan. I went to the local hardware store and was lucky enough to have a salesman guide me to wood epoxy instead of flimsy wood putty. I managed to do neat work with my chisels instead of the hack job I’d been afraid of doing. With overwhelming anxiety, this simple job was impossible for me. Without anxiety, it was easy and fun.

If you want to join me in my year of transforming blockers into strengths and working to achieve seemingly impossible goals, click here to buy the e-book I’m using as a textbook. If you buy from this link, I receive a small commission at no extra charge to you and you will be receiving rare knowledge about how to achieve your goals and dreams with sensible techniques that really work. I would like to form a mastermind group with my readers so we can share our experiences and encourage one another.

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More environmental blockers and a great treatment for generalized anxiety disorder

by CynthiaYockey on January 3, 2013

Turning Blockers into Boosters, Day 3: I haven’t been getting my weatherproofing done as quickly as I wanted to, but I was pleased to notice that I’m doing the tasks quicker and with less effort than they would have taken me even a year ago. Part of this is due to my weight loss, improved fitness and better sleep habits. As a result, I have more energy and clarity and much less pain. Well, prescription-strength ibuprofen helps with the pain, too. But I also credit a big reduction in my general anxiety level to completing three days of Maharishi Vedic Vibration treatments (MVVT) in September, thanks to the donations of my gentle readers. I had absolutely no idea how much my generalized anxiety disorder was crippling me until the fear that I was about to make a mistake and be brutally punished and a constant sense of pressure were no longer scattering my wits.

So instead of panicking all through the process of moving a table and boxes of papers in my father’s office so I could replace the plastic insulation over a large window, I just assessed what I had to do and then methodically did it. Well, after an hour of searching for tape and scissors that I didn’t put back in their proper place, a computer problem of an audio or video file that I could neither find nor figure out what was playing it, and trying to figure out if Ro-Ro really needed a trip to the veterinarian, which meant I didn’t start the project until there was barely enough time to get it done while I still had the sunlight to see whether I was doing it properly. (Ro-Ro got to see my favorite vet this evening and was prescribed the medicine she needs, if medicine will help her. She’s 18 and the vet said she’s in better shape now than last May when I adopted her, but if her kidneys are giving out, too, there’s nothing more I can do.)

If you want to join me in my year of transforming blockers into strengths, I recommend the e-book and courses here. If you buy from this link, I receive a small commission at no extra charge to you and you will be receiving rare knowledge about how to achieve your goals and dreams with sensible techniques that really work.

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Environmental blockers

by CynthiaYockey on January 2, 2013

Turning Blockers into Boosters, Day 2: The textbook I recommend for readers joining me on this year-long quest to turn blockers into strengths defines blockers as “self-defeating habit patterns,” which generally were formed early in life but are not successful or appropriate for coping with adult challenges. Call these internal blockers.

However, there are external blockers, too. Environmental blockers include clutter, disorder, passageways that are blocked or narrowed and things that are broken. I’ve begun my blocker-transforming project by addressing environmental blockers. I started about a week ago with weatherproofing the house, which was drafty and cold. It was uncomfortable and the prospect of high heating bills was terrifying. Now the house is much warmer, so it’s more comfortable and I’m feeling less worried and more confident. I hope to finish tomorrow. Then I will tackle decluttering my work area, which will make it much easier to write, track our finances (my father’s and mine) and do the personal transformation exercises and goal-setting techniques in the textbook linked above.

To be able to go into more detail and write more satisfying posts, I’ll have to start writing much earlier in the day. Staying up past 10 pm makes me less happy and efficient the next day, so the habit of doing that is a blocker. So I have to go to bed now instead of writing more and trust that I’ll do better soon.

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Join me for a year of turning blockers into boosters

by CynthiaYockey on January 1, 2013

This year I’m committing to doing something every day to turn my blockers — self-defeating habits — into boosters: strengths that will support my success.

The framework I’m using comes from the work of Stuart Lichtman. Check him out here. I recommend his e-books and courses. I started using his system in 2005. My results may seem modest, but recently I learned my accomplishments actually have been amazing under the circumstances. I’ll explain more soon. If you use my link to buy from Stuart, which I recommend and would appreciate, I will receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

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Gun-free zones are magnets for massacres

by CynthiaYockey on December 15, 2012

In his USA Today column yesterday, dear Instapundit’s response to the massacre of 20 children and six women at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, was headlined, “Gun-free zones provide false sense of security.”

Actually, gun-free zones provide an absolute sense of security for would-be mass murderers. That’s what turns them into kill zones. That’s why gun-free zones are magnets for massacres.

Fortunately, framing the problem this way provides the solution:

Don’t ban guns, ban gun-free zones. For starters, Congress should repeal the federal Gun-Free Zones Act of 1990.
Conservatives should be active at the state level to repeal “may issue” concealed carry permit laws and pass “must issue” or “unrestricted” laws in their place. Wikipedia has a convenient chart of the types of concealed carry laws each state has.
People who work or congregate in places historically targeted by mass murderers should be encouraged to obtain pistols, firearms training and concealed carry permits.
The ban on members of our military services being allowed to carry their sidearms on base should be repealed. The Fort Hood mass murder would have had far fewer victims if our military bases, of all places, had not been turned into gun-free zones.
Women frequently are targets of mass murderers, so women’s advocacy groups should get busy promoting self-defense courses with firearms training and lobbying for “must issue” or “unrestricted” concealed carry permits if they live in more restrictive states.

Most mass murderers include suicide in their attack plan. This fact is extremely useful in preventing mass murders and reducing the death toll of those that occur. Why? Because we need to accelerate the killer’s scenario for the circumstances in which he has planned to kill himself. Isn’t that always when the armed responders have arrived and he’s cornered? That’s why we need plenty of civilians in schools, universities, churches, theaters and shopping malls who have concealed carry permits, weapons and the skill to use them. The sooner there’s return fire, the sooner the suicide is triggered and the killing stops. In addition, I predict that there will be a tipping point when there are enough people with guns and concealed carry permits that would-be mass murderers won’t like their odds and will give up on their plans.

P.S.

Dear Stacy McCain and Ace want to crack down on the mentally ill. I agree that it should be easier to force people who are a danger to themselves or others into care, including psych holds. But their proposals to further humiliate and enrage men whose mental illness and inadequacies may drive them to kill are disastrous. This will only push more men to kill as a means to make the world feel the hurt and impotence that overwhelm them. The carrot makes more sense than the stick: we need to find out if there’s anything we can do to give loners and nutjobs something useful to do even if it winds up being a form of semi-incarceration doing community service.

Please donate if you like this post — I need some 12-gauge shotgun shells:

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Invitation to my project to demonstrate that prosperity comes from ideas, not the government

by CynthiaYockey on November 9, 2012

Today I’m participating in a panel having a live discussion on BBC World Have Your Say from 10 am to 11 am EST on the importance of women’s votes in securing victory for Barack Obama for a second term and what this will mean for the GOP going forward.

I’m going to announce that over the next year on this blog I’ll leading a project to demonstrate the conservative principle that prosperity originates with an individual with an idea and grows best in a free market political system that does not burden the growth of prosperity with high taxes and over-regulation. I’ll be sharing what I’m doing to go from being penniless at the age of 59 and coping with some serious health challenges to health and financial security. I’m inviting others to start their own journey to health and prosperity with me and share our experiences, which I plan to collect in a book and course on how to do this.

If you are interested in participating in this project, or sponsoring it through donations personally or through your organization, please do one or more of the following:

E-mail me at cynthia (the little symbol) name of this blog (without the word “newly”) dot com.
Follow me on Twitter at @conservativelez.
Leave a comment.
Donate through the donation button below.

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The GOP’s blind spots in seeing its way forward after the 2012 election

by CynthiaYockey on November 9, 2012

Republicans and conservatives — who are not always the same people — are stunned that they lost the election after running a candidate highly competent for the office of president against an incumbent whose policies have led to high unemployment and economic stagnation. And they are realizing that if they can’t win against an opponent who is as bad as his job as Obama is, they’re doing it wrong.

And they are. Conservatives have two big blind spots. First, conservatives can’t see that when the GOP tries to sell austerity, doom and gloom, voters don’t want to buy even though it would be prudent. It flabbergasts them that what does sell is the Democrats posing as Santa Claus (when they really are more like Stalin).

Second, and more importantly, conservatives have a blind spot when it comes to how they espouse traditional values. To wit, they seize the coercive powers of government to impose their religion on everyone. Conservatives can’t see that as much as they hate the nanny state, liberals hate Big Brother churchism even more.

This blind spot means conservatives can’t see they have a fundamental disconnect in the conservative message regarding individual liberty. They’re for it, except when they are against it. So individual liberty is the conservative argument against the tyranny of a nanny state that would limit the size of a soft drink cup. But when individuals assert the liberty to be governed by their own consciences and religion with regard to a woman’s right to choose or equality for lesbians and gays, including marriage equality, social conservatives are opposed.

The tyranny of the churchist is infinitely more comprehensive than that of the statist. The statist is content to control behavior. This leaves individuals with some autonomy. In contrast, the churchist demands absolute control not only of behavior but also of heart, mind and soul.

In the 2012 election, Americans had a choice between the economic totalitarianism of Obama and the threat of social totalitarianism by Romney, in particular the prospect of the loss of a woman’s right to choose through naming Supreme Court justices as well as equality issues for gays (repealing DOMA, passing ENDA and ensuring no return to DADT). With no clear understanding of how the conservative candidate’s policies would translate into their own prosperity, but the absolute certainty that a conservative president would do everything in his power to undermine or end a woman’s right to choose and oppose gay equality, voters rejected the conservative candidate.

The thing is, conservatives don’t need to change any of their values to address the problem of being perceived as Big Brother churchists. All they need to do is limit their activism to all the tools available in the realm of persuasion. This will make the conservative message more coherent and compelling. People will be able to vote Republican for prosperity without fearing the loss of what should be unalienable rights.

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Why undecideds should vote for Romney

by CynthiaYockey on November 6, 2012

Romney clinched my vote when he chose Paul Ryan as his running mate because that showed he is serious about restoring the United States to fiscal health. Today I’m going to vote with my 96-year-old father, then I’m on stand-by as a volunteer with my county’s Republican organization to take voters to the polls, especially people with disabilities. This evening I’m working with CAC and the Ace of Spades HQ election results tabulation team covering Maryland and Delaware. For my comments on Twitter, follow @conservativelez.

For the first time in his career, pollster Scott Rasmussen said today he cannot call the presidential race because the poll results are so evenly divided. It is the small percentage of voters who are undecided who will determine the outcome of this race. I haven’t heard or read much about who they are, but I think I know them because they are like me: fiscal conservative/social liberals. We are essentially politically homeless, represented neither by Republicans nor Democrats, because we reject both the fiscal totalitarianism of Democrats and the social totalitarianism of Republicans. We can’t really win either way.

This is excruciatingly hard for a conservative lesbian because I believe liberty can only be served by protecting a woman’s right to choose and equality for lesbians and gays, even though that cause doesn’t fare well under Democrats, because they have their own social conservatives to whom they kowtow and gays will ALWAYS be at the back of their bus (except when they are under it).

On the other hand, the gay community is a model of how fiscal conservatism works because discrimination forces us into entrepreneurial careers and self-reliant lives. Our own families, religions and governments gleefully and proudly exclude and abandon us even when this costs us our lives. As a consequence, lesbians and gays know we have to create the businesses, charities, clubs and non-profits to serve our community. We can never trust the government. And gay equality does NOT fare well not only in countries dominated by a single religion but also in socialist and communist countries.

Personally, I think the only reason that lesbians and gays are on the Left is that they were driven out of the Right by social conservatives. The reason that the Left will NEVER give lesbians and gays the advocacy it gives to other minorities is that we cannot be weaponized against capitalism as the others can since capitalism/fiscal conservatism is the only reason we’ve been able to come out and thrive as individuals and communities in the absence of family, religious and governmental support.

What I’m doing by casting my vote for the Romney/Ryan ticket is expressing my belief that they will restore the American economy to prosperity, ensure our armed forces remain strong, support Israel and un-do the damage to foreign policy and relations done by Obama. I also want them to investigate the Benghazi massacre and bring to justice the people in the American chain of command who failed to protect our ambassador and the three other men who died in the consulate attack. I have to hope that the checks-and-balances of our system will check the “values voters” who wish to impose their own religious beliefs on others through the coercive powers of government. But since lesbians and gays lose under both the financial/social totalitarianism of the Left as well as the social totalitarianism of social conservatives, I have to choose the promise of financial prosperity and national security because that gives me the foundation to fight for my equality.

I’ve embedded above the part of Andrew Breitbart’s speech at CPAC 2012 where he explains the reasons to support the Republican nominee. Thanks to the generosity of Instapundit’s readers, I was in the lecture hall when he was speaking. (That’s also why, when a gadfly in the Bloggers’ Lounge attacked him as homophobic, it blew up in her face because he had his arm around me for a photo and I jumped into the fray.) After the jump below, I have linked some posts detailing promises of Obama’s that have had, as we say, “expiration dates” because it is so rude to call them lies. I also have embedded two videos by Bill Whittle. The first appeals to undecideds and third party voters and explains why they should vote for Romney. The second goes over some of the most important promises by Obama that had expiration dates.

Now I’m taking Dad to the polls so we can vote.

[click to continue…]

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‘You don’t need those old Grandma shorts’

by CynthiaYockey on August 23, 2012

I think it was in May 2011 that I learned from Ayurveda that walking at sunrise or in the early morning sun was a potent remedy to charge yourself with energy (prana) for the day. Soon after that I learned a scientific explanation: light stops the production of melatonin, the hormone produced at night that causes sleepiness. Since my problem of idiopathic hypersomnia is too much sleepiness and my work as a caregiver and blogger seldom takes me outdoors, I knew I had to try morning walks.

I have to say they are very nearly a miracle cure. In June I upped my game to jogging the entire length of my 5K route. This morning I kicked it up another notch and I’m alternating running and walking.

I’ve stopped to write this post because two neighbors just walked by with their dogs and one called and to me, “You are really thin now. You need to get some running clothes.”

Um, what?

“You need to lose the grandma shorts and get some running clothes,” she explained.

So I asked her to take my photo on the spot to commemorate the moment — what do you think, gentle readers?

After my resistance training at the gym, I stopped by Target for white lilac Tide and spotted the running shorts below for $9.99. I have to admit, wearing them
is an adjustment, plus they highlight that I still have a ways to go, fitness and body composition-wise (more muscle, less fat). Thoughts, gentle readers?