1. Former baseball player, steroid aficionado, and Twitter crazy person Jose Canseco shared his new year's resolutions with the world.

View this image ›

View this image ›

"Okay. This one's pretty good. Normal even. Maybe this won't be as fun as I thought it would be."

View this image ›

"Damn. This one's normal too. How are they not crazy? Maybe I won't even post these."

View this image ›

"Okay. this is a little better. Definitely worded in an insane way, but maybe that's just crazy talk for: 'Do more charity.'"

View this image ›

"Thank god. Here we go. Only José can possibly think this could still happen. Tim Donaghy will be Commissioner of the NBA before José is back in Major League Baseball."

View this image ›

"This one better actually happen."

View this image ›

"Remember when I was worried these wouldn't deliver? Now we have José saying #5 twice and creating an anti-aging miracle drink named after the steroided slugger and Ponce de León. Amazing."

View this image ›

"I... have no words. It's just so... so... beautiful."

View this image ›

"President of the World, please make José go on Shark Tank this year. Please?"

View this image ›

"It's a sad fact about the entertainment industry that this one isn't impossible."

View this image ›

"Animal Rights and Beer Companies. The two most worthy causes."

View this image ›

"A. L. I. S. T. I love you José!"

View this image ›

"Always hustlin'."

View this image ›

"2013 is going to be our haters!!"