A Very Vine Mess: Oenophile Overlord Robert Parker Has a Short Finish
The Year Ahead: 135 Eerily Prescient, Stupefyingly Accurate Predictions for 2013!
Will Big Nicks Become Another Casualty of UWS Hyper-Gentrification?
Al Roker Sharted in White House, No Longer Begs Wife for Sex [Video]
Pols Rage at Mayor for Comparing Teachers Union to N.R.A.
Even Louis C.K. Is Confounded by the City's Old Parking Signs
Greenpoint Sculpture Splattered With Pigeon-Poop-Like Paint
Assemblyman Hikind Compares Hagel to Politician Who Appeased Hitler
Ratchet, My Dear Watson: Urban Dictionary Gives IBM’s Supercomputer a Filthy Mouth
Will Big Nicks Become Another Casualty of UWS Hyper-Gentrification?
Big Nick’s might not be to everyone’s liking, but it has certainly made an effort to suit everyone’s tastes. In a city of increasingly “curated” dining experiences and foraged vegetable tasting menus, Big Nick’s offers not only hamburgers, pizza and assorted Italian favorites, a vast assortment of sandwiches, chicken barbecued, fried and broiled oreganate, but also Greek standbys, salad platters, a full breakfast menu and a surf-and-turf shack selection of seafood.
So it will come as sad news to many an Upper West Sider that Big Nick’s, which has been open for 24 hours a day for the last 50 years at 2175 Broadway Avenue may soon be no more, reports The West Side Rag. The reason is not a lack of fans—although the Upper West Side’s DNA has changed considerably since the greasy spoon opened—but, you guessed it, a rent hike. Read More
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Al Roker Sharted in White House, No Longer Begs Wife for Sex [Video]
Al Roker, who is a very famous weatherman (or so we’ve been told), admitted on Dateline last night that he pooped in his pants at the White House after his gastric bypass surgery in 2002.
“I probably went off and ate something I wasn’t supposed [to], and I was walking to the press room, and I thought I had to pass a little gas,” Mr. Roker told NBC’s Dr. Nancy Snyderman. “And I thought, ‘Whose going to know?’ Only, a little something extra came out.”
Dr. Snyderman took this in stride. “You pooped in your pants,” she shrugged, like a real doctor would.
“I pooped my pants,” he concurred.
Video below. Read More
Pols Rage at Mayor for Comparing Teachers Union to N.R.A.
Last Friday, Mayor Michael Bloomberg, frustrated with the current state of contract negotiations with the city’s teachers union, caused a political dust-up when he compared the leadership of the influential United Federation of Teachers to the National Rifle Association. Now, other New York City politicians are demanding an apology.
“Teachers want to work with the best, and most of them are not in sympathy with the union,” Mr. Bloomberg had said before pivoting to one of his preferred talking points when he pushes for tougher federal gun laws. “The N.R.A’s another place where the membership, if you do the polling, doesn’t agree with the leadership.”
Michael Mulgrew, the President of the U.F.T., said he was so infuriated by this comment that he organized today’s press conference on the topic. Read More
Even Louis C.K. Is Confounded by the City’s Old Parking Signs
At today’s press conference unveiling the new and improved parking signs for Midtown, quite a few reporters questioned the actual need for redesigning the street signs. Both Transportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan and City Councilman Dan Garodnick said they had received complaints about the old signs and agreed they required “a PhD in traffic” to decipher.
Among those flunking out on their TCATs? None other than the brilliant Louis C.K. Read More
Greenpoint Sculpture Splattered With Pigeon-Poop-Like Paint
With less than a week left until the 150th Anniversary of the U.S.S. Monitor’s sinking, a monument erected in celebration of the ship fell prey to tasteless vandalism in Greenpoint yesterday.
What could on first glance be attributed to the exploit of a rabid pigeon-flock is actually, on closer observation, an unhindered dumping of white Read More
Assemblyman Hikind Compares Hagel to Politician Who Appeased Hitler
Assemblyman Dov Hikind is not in the least bit pleased about President Barack Obama nominating former Senator Chuck Hagel to be his new Secretary of Defense.
Mr. Hikind, a prominent pol in Brooklyn’s Orthodox Jewish community and a Democrat known for breaking with his own party, is incensed over what he feels is Mr. Hagel’s insufficient support for Israel and a controversial comment he once made referring to the “Jewish lobby.”
“Hagel’s policy positions have been anti-Israel and pro-Iranian,” Mr. Hikind declared in a press release blasted out earlier this afternoon that compared Mr. Hagel with Neville Chamberlain, the former British Prime Minister famous for appeasing Adolf Hitler before World War Two. Read More
Ratchet, My Dear Watson: Urban Dictionary Gives IBM’s Supercomputer a Filthy Mouth
In order to pass the Turing Test, a computer must display both emotional and intellectual behavior that’s almost indistinguishable from that of humans. IBM’s most famous supercomputer, Watson, is close, but first he must emulate one of humanity’s finer inventions: crazy Internet slang. YOLO! Read More
Candidate Launches Hurricane Sandy-Themed Political Party
A candidate for City Council in a Sandy-ravaged Far Rockaway district is running on a hurricane-themed party line. Selvena Brooks is filing petitions to get on the ballot under the name of the “Rebuild Now” party. Read More
Parking in 140 Characters or Less: New Signs Simplify Parking Rules
Twitter has changed the way we communicate, and now it may change the way we drive, at least around Midtown.
This morning, the Department of Transportation unveiled new parking signs that greatly simplify and clarify on-street parking regulations. As Tranportation Commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan joked, “We used to have signs with 250 character on four different signs in three different colors. Now we can say it in about 140 characters on a much clearer sign.” Read More
Cuomo: State Senate GOP’s Gun Control Plan ‘Misses the Mark’
Over the weekend, Republicans in the New York State Senate rolled out a plan to address gun laws, which received criticism from Democrats due to its focus on increasing penalties for illegal guns rather than restricting access to assault weapons. A spokesman for Governor Andrew Cuomo quickly shot it down, however, and Mr. Cuomo reiterated his position that the Republicans’ policy proposals are a non-starter at a press conference this morning.
“I don’t think their plan goes far enough,” Mr. Cuomo said. “I think it misses the mark, pardon the pun, to put out a plan that doesn’t ban an assault weapon with what we’ve seen.” Read More
