Dec

24

Will Obamacare Cover Treatment For Heavy Metal Addiction?

Filed Under Economy, Health Care, World News | 7 Comments

I couldn’t believe this story wasn’t from the United States, but I’m sure it’ll arrive soon — if it hasn’t already.

A man in Sweden is reportedly getting state disability benefits due to a crippling addiction to heavy metal:

According to the Global Post, 42-year-old Roger Tullgren said he consulted three psychologists to testify his addiction to the Devil’s Rock, which led to him attending over 300 concerts last year, leaving him seemingly unable to hold down a job.

“I have been trying for 10 years to get this classified as a handicap,” he told Swedish newspaper The Local. “I spoke to three psychologists and they finally agreed that I needed this to avoid being discriminated against.”

According to the report, he now has a part-time job as a dishwasher at a restaurant in Hassleholm, which will be supplemented by disability benefits. Tullgren’s new boss has agreed to let him rock out to Slayer as loud as he wants while scrubbing dishes, so long as it doesn’t disturb guests. He has even agreed to grant Tullgren time off to go to gigs.

I’ve heard there’s treatment available for this addiction in the Yngwie Malmsteen wing of the Betty Fjord clinic in Goteborg, but that won’t happen as long as the Swedish government keeps enabling him.

Sometimes people are diagnosed with the opposite problem — a life completely devoid of heavy metal — and the disorder is usually discovered after a doctor notices the patient’s blood work shows an Iron Maiden deficiency. Sorry…

metaladdiction

Tullgren, pictured above, has promised to get medical help with his addiction — unless Sabbath, Pantera, Motorhead or Judas Priest are touring

Comments

7 Responses to “Will Obamacare Cover Treatment For Heavy Metal Addiction?”

  1. backwoodsconsr on December 24th, 2012 7:45 pm

    I'm allergic to rap.

  2. jeffythequick on December 25th, 2012 6:00 am

    Socialized Medicine: Discovering new depths of stupid, the more it's tried!

  3. jeffythequick on December 25th, 2012 6:01 am

    O/T: To all of the people on here*, have yourselves a merry little Christmas!

    *and especially to Doug, who makes this all possible!

  4. Anne on December 25th, 2012 9:41 am

    Definitely. That allergy likely prevents you from attending rap or heavy metal concerts. That kind of mental anguish must be solved by disability income.

  5. backwoodsconsr on December 25th, 2012 10:11 am

    I think liking rap should be covered under mental illness care.

  6. backwoodsconsr on December 25th, 2012 10:40 am

    Yes, always give thanks to the people who make things possible. Joe Torre set the classic example.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Torre#Quotes

    Merry Christmas!

  7. SignPainterGuy on December 30th, 2012 3:04 pm

    Me too, AND heavy metal !

    You can`t spell CRAP without "R-A-P" ! (Bumper sticker seen on the back of a redneck`s pickup)

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