Army
Decorated War Hero, Airborne Ranger Emasculated By Wife At Local Mall
KILLEEN, TX - Sources confirmed that earlier this afternoon while sitting outside of a dressing room in a mall boutique, decorated soldier Samuel Williams was publicly dressed down by his … [Read More...]
Marine Corps
Supply Chief Has Complete Conversation With Grunt Without Understanding Single Word
OKINAWA, JAPAN - Supply Company Gunnery Sergeant Dan Williams confirmed today that despite a wide range of accomplishments and experiences in the Corps, he had absolutely no idea what an infantry … [Read More...]
Navy
Hardest Working Sailor Determined By Shiniest Boots, Immaculate Uniform
NORFOLK, VA - Yeoman Third Class Roger Dawes was named USS Gonzalez’s Junior Sailor of the Year for maintaining an immaculate boot shine, military creases in his coveralls, and having the "most … [Read More...]
News
Desperate Army Football Team Beats Navy With Gunfire, JDAM
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Tragedy and triumph describe the most bitter fought Army-Navy football battle in history yesterday, which resulted in victory for Army, who used a unique mixture of football … [Read More...]
Air Force
Study: Dramatic Increase In Fitness Test Scores When Participants Are Crying
PETERSON AFB, CO - A recent study has revealed the surprising result that Air Force physical fitness test scores increase dramatically when participants are crying. Dr. Lamm Baum, a military … [Read More...]
OPFOR
Poll: Joseph Kony Currently Leads U.S. Presidential Race
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As American voters head to the ballot box to decide the next President, a shocking poll released from Rasmussen indicates that Joseph Kony has a commanding lead over President … [Read More...]
