Seen here about to inappropriately touch a stepladder, DARPA's autonomous V-bat drone hovers while showing off its 6-foot robotic arm. Wonderful, now they're going to start stealing our claw machine prizes. At least leave some for the kids.
Officially, there's an innocuous reason for the giant arm: a stereo vision system, in tandem with GPS, lets the robot precisely deliver one-pound payloads with the kind of reach that us fleshy anthropods wouldn't have. We're not quite so comforted after realizing that the robot can find its target without human input, however. DARPA sees the V-Bat as a stepping stone towards more autonomous vehicles, and it likely has noble intentions at heart.
Pfft, "Likely has noble intentions at heart." Yeah right. This is DARPA (of robotic cheetah, Big Dog and creepy humanoid fame) we're talking about. Do you even know what DARPA stands for? Death Army of Robots Pounding Ass. *running duct tape up crack* Not this ass you don't.
Hit the jump for a brief video.
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This is a Master Chief stained glass window made by MartianGlassWorks, the same man behind all this other video game inspired glass art. Now listen Chief -- I want you keep an eye on the house while I'm out drinking. And if you could let me back in when I get home that would be great because I'm probably going to lose my keys. "Go easy tonight." I DON'T TAKE ORDERS FROM A PETTY OFFICER. "Please." Dammit Chief, one more word out of you and I'm going to put a baseball through you like those neighborhood kids did the kitchen window. "I won't say another word." Those counted -- THOSE COUNTED. *bats ball at window, misses, breaks TV*
Hit the jump for some closeups.
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Because nothing says "I'm a badass who takes eye care seriously" like a pair of sunglasses with temples that look like little assault rifles, this is a pair of sunglasses with temples that look like little assault rifles. They're a collaboration between Jeremy Scott and Linda Farrow and cost €380 (~$491). *spitting out penises* $491 for a pair of NOVELTY sunglasses?! That's ridiculous! "Who cares, let's go back to why you were spitting out penises." Haha, did I say penises? Damn autocorrect. "This isn't a text message, GW." ABORT, ABORT.
Hit the jump for a shot(!) of the glasses in grey/blue.
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TO INFINITY AND BEYOND! Jk jk -- just to the moon and back.
Startup company Golden Spike is promising commercial trips to the moon by 2020, charging $800-million a seat per round trip excursion. No word if they'll offer deals on one-way tickets. *tries Pricelining a ticket for $200* Dammit, they didn't accept. I'll go $250.
Each surface expedition includes a surface stay time of at least 36 hours (exceeding the stay times of both Apollo 11 and Apollo 12), two moonwalks (EVAs), the use of a standard surface expedition tool kit and cameras and optional add-on packages, accommodation of up to 50 kg of lunar experiments and other customer-provided equipment (e.g., flags, plaques, etc.) to the surface, as well as the additional accommodation of up to 50 kg of lunar samples for return to Earth, together with all necessary governmental certifications. Orbital expeditions [a cheaper option at just $450 million per seat] offer a week-long stay time.
I mean cool, I just, you know, will never be able to afford that. $800-million? I have a hard time even IMAGINING that much money. Are you allowed to split seats if you sit on somebody's lap? Because if so all we need to do is stack 10,000 people to get the price down to $80,000. I call dibs on not sitting on some dude's peen!
Hit the jump for a picture of the proposed flight schedule and a promotional video.
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NOTE: Old article, April Fool's joke. Actual testing schedule HERE. Boy is my face red (I'm trashed).
Despite all my hoping and praying, the world isn't going to end on December 21st. Or at least it wasn't going to until the scientists at CERN decided to test the Large Hadron Collider that day! *breaking out party hats and noise makers* Apocalypse party!
Scientists at CERN have announced test dates for the rest of the year, as well as some curious dates can be found in the upcoming schedule. Starting Monday, December 17, 2012 and going through Friday, December 21, 2012, CERN will be launching and running a series of collisions, which are predicted to break records in high voltage collisions already set by the LHC. With these experiments, the scientists are hoping to create atomic reactions that would provide further information about anti-matter, and the big bang.
Hell yeah, the end of the world! It's just like that R.E.M. song. "It's The End of the World?" What? No -- Losing My Religion. Get your head in the game, brobro.
Thanks to joe, who -- wait, where you going with that gun in your hand? (Jimi Hendrix reference -- this post turned into a musical extravaganza!)
Because what fun is collecting something piece by piece when you can just get them ALL AT ONCE, here's a massive 1,950 Star Wars action figure collection for sale on eBay. I know at least two people in real life who are trying to conceal boners right now after seeing this. And another one who's probably waving his around like a little flag on the 4th of July. I'm looking at you, Jeff!
To celebrate the publication of the most comprehensive Star Wars action figure book ever, and the one-year anniversary of the nonprofit Star Wars museum at Rancho Obi-Wan (ROW), we are offering what we believe is the largest single collection of unique Star Wars action figures ever made available on eBay.
This amazing auction includes a huge lot of 1,950 different loose action figures collected over decades--starting with the vintage line in 1978--and representing over 85% of the figures documented in the new book Star Wars: The Ultimate Action Figure Collection.
"This incredible collection of nearly every Star Wars action figure ever produced is the largest group of figures I've seen offered in a single lot," Vilmur said. "Based on the sharp condition and completeness of this collection (100% of the 1978-85 series is here, and nearly every subsequent figure produced to early 2011), I'd appraise this set at a minimum $8,200 to $8,500. There is minor wear on some of the vintage figures (as is typical around the edges of the feet) while all modern figures appear fresh off the card. All vintage accessories are accounted for unless otherwise indicated and are believed to be authentic."
That...is a lot of toys. Unfortunately, I like my action figures still in the packaging, so this auction isn't for me. "Or is it because you don't have the money?" It's the packaging thing. "Admit it -- you're broke." I TOUCHED A FRIEND'S PRIVATES FOR A DOLLAR. "Please tell me you're joking." Oh God it was fifty cents.
Hit the jump for a bunch more shots, but check out the auction page for higher-res versions and even more.
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Because this is the internet, here's a short video of Gandalf riding a unicycle playing 'Concerning Hobbits' from The Fellowship of the Ring on bagpipes. It's the same dude from Portland that did the Star Wars theme dressed as Darth Vader. Hey, everyone needs a hobby. My favorite part is at the end when the fangirl dressed in all purple goes chasing after him. Dude must be pulling all kinds of tail.
Hit the jump for 45-seconds of PURE SKILL.
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This is the $25 USB Squirming Tentacle from ThinkGeek. You plug it in and it squirms. AND THAT'S ALL. It doesn't store any data or anything, it just squirms. It's the textbook definition of a novelty product. You want to see something squirm for cheaper? Here's what you do: kidnap me, tie me to a chair, and tickle my feet. I will squirm SO HARD. Also, pee. And if that pee smells like poop it means I shat too. That's why you shouldn't gag me so I can still yell the safe words before that happens. "And what are the safe words?" DON'T STOP.
Hit the jump for a video of four tentacles squirming in a USB hub because what else are you gonna do with $100?
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