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12 Things bartenders hate about you

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Hey party people! ‘Tis the season to go out and party — especially because, ya know, you may have heard that the world is ending in 2012?

What better place to have fun than a bar?  Bars are made for good times.  So let ‘em roll!

But before you do get your drink on, best get to know the reasons bartenders hate you.

From getting too sexy with the staff to grabbing the fruit — if you don’t want spit in your Sea Breeze, or semen in your Shirley Temple — check out our intoxicating new photo gallery now.

PHOTOS: 12 Ways to Make Bartenders Hate You

[truTV]

 

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End of the world is coming: 10 Dumb ways to prepare

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Since we all know the end of the world is coming in 2013 — best git ready!  Don’t believe us?  Here’s 12 Reasons the World will End in 2012.  But never fear — we’ve got 10 brilliant dumb ideas to make your last days on earth the best ever.

1. Stop doing laundry now

The end of days is coming — how much time might you waste washing stuff or bringing it to the cleaners?  Time to dive into your closet and wear all that stuff you never let see the light of day.  So what if people point and laugh at you?  They’ll be toast soon too.

2. Eat all you want

Sorry Weight Watchers, but you won’t be seeing any of us in 2013 so it’s time to party.  Need some ideas on what you should and can eat when you don’t live to suffer from high cholesterol, diabetes and obesity?  Check out our Dumbest Things Americans Eat photo gallery.  Oh and since we won’t ever see the next NFL championship — best whip up some awesome Super Bowl Party Foods STAT.

Continue reading “End of the world is coming: 10 Dumb ways to prepare” »

15 Facebook fails that’ll make you feel better about yourself

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It was a big week for Lakers star Kobe Bryant as he scored his 30,000th career point on Wednesday, becoming the 5th player in NBA history to reach such a milestone. Think that’s impressive?  I stayed up past midnight just to watch the new “Star Trek Into Darkness” trailer.  Wow, right?  Anyway, check out these fifteen Facebook users who are even bigger disappointments to their parents than I am.

1. A Twilight fan doesn’t like a zombie movie? I’ll take that as an endorsement! (via mikesteverob.tumblr.com)

Continue reading “15 Facebook fails that’ll make you feel better about yourself” »

College student sues roommate for too much sexy time

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Until you have the dough to purchase your own giant house on an acre of land deep in the forests of West Virginia, you’re prolly going to have to deal with the occasional moans, groans and cringe-inducing pleas of, “OH, LARRY, GO DEEPER!” from your nabes.

There’s nothing you can do when it comes to a neighbor or roommate who engages in loud bedroom shenanigans.  Wait — nothing?  Perhaps you could and should sue the problem fornicator. That’s what one college student in Massachusetts actually did.

Just how freaky did her roomate get that required the distraught student to seek legal action? Peep the story below to find out.

Massachusetts College Student Sues Over Her Roommate’s Sexcapades

[Your Tango]

 

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Colin Dempsey toasts the dumb side of stand-up comedy

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Have you ever wanted to ask a stranger what the dumbest part of their job is? Well, we have and can and did. We asked stand-up comedian (and he’s also a musician, writer and storyteller) Colin Dempsey to tell us about the best dumb highlights of his funny career. And thankfully, he was happy to tell us.

What’s the dumbest thing a stand-up comedian can do before a show?

Eat an entire block of fried cheese which I once did half an hour before hosting my own show. It was a disaster, unless you think an impression of Steven Wright on Valium with gas is funny. In that case, it was a hilarious success.

What’s the worst joke you ever told on stage?

Pretty much everything I said in the first year of doing stand up and most of the second. By the third year I had learned to tone down my Irish accent a little and speak slower so at least the audience could understand what they didn’t like about my act. Specific jokes? Probably the ones about minor life irritations while performing on a show to cheer patients at an upper east side cancer ward. An audience battling cancer isn’t particularly receptive to material on roommates hogging the shower in the morning.

What’s the dumbest thing a heckler ever said to you on stage?

Not exactly a heckle, but one time after bombing on stage for a painful 15 minutes a guy in the audience hugged me as I walked through the crowd to leave and said, “Welcome to America bro, you passed the test!” I’m still not sure what he meant.

Find out more about Colin Dempsey!

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Professional athletes who are scaredy cats

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They’re physically flawless and often make miracles happen with just a few seconds to spare in a game. Athletes are often seen as a perfect species to the outsider, but deep down, they’re only human. And they harbor some mysterious fears like the Easter bunny, sharks and horses.

Put a horse on the field anywhere near Chiefs safety Eric Berry, and he’ll run the other way.

Click below for video proof of Berry’s farm animal phobia — “Oh, hell no! There go that horse,” he says. And then take a “what the hey” ride along with us to scope many other perplexing athlete fears.

The Strangest Athlete Fears Of All Time

[Bleacher Report]

 

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Cops: Man has Pit Bull babysit 10-month-old while he drinks at bar

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Pit bulls make excellent babysitters.

They are cheap — you don’t have to pay cash, just kibble.

You don’t have to leave out a bowl of M&M’s because chocolate is bad for dogs.

If intruders come to the door they may very well be scared off.

But there are a couple of things a pit bull can’t do.  They can’t read stories or change diapers.  They can’t dial 911. They can’t feed the kid.  And probably a few other things.

This is probably why, although economical, most people would not let a pit bull babysit.  However James Irvine, pictured, allegedly did just this according to deputies in Flagler County Florida who report that he left his girlfriend’s 10-month-old baby alone and went to a bar.  After the 41-year-old did not answer repeated calls from his girlfriend she returned home and found Irvine trying to get back in the house.  Cops say he claimed it was all good because the baby was not left alone as he stationed a pit bull outside the baby’s door.

Bonus points: The report says his girlfriend found him urinating on himself.  When your boyfriend needs diapers more than your baby — that’s a dealbreaker, ladies!

Man Left Pit Bull to Babysit Baby While He Drank at Bar: Deputies

 

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Photos: 12 Ways to Make Bartenders Hate You

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It’s the holiday season and time to party — cheers to the freakin’ weekend — I drink to that, yeah yeah!

But wait!  Before you get crazy there are some things you gotta not do when you go out to imbibe — things you might be temped to pull that’ll invariably make bartenders hate you.

Do you want your drinks watered down?  Or worse, do you want your drinks watered down with their pee?  No you do not.

From getting way too sexual with your server to acting like your birthday makes it OK to become a beast — check out our new photo gallery below.

Photos:  12 Ways to Make Bartenders Hate You

[truTV]

 

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Holiday photos so wrong they’re right

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Screen Shot 2011-12-16 at 9.30.11 AM

‘Tis the time of year to put on your baby Jesus best and take dumb family photos! All so you can slap the cringe-inducing pics on a cheesy drugstore greeting card and send it to people who only find out you’re alive once a year.

If you need suggestions for how to take the most uncomfortable family portrait ever, heed these extremely awkward holiday family photos. While the “Pee In Your Pants” pic is my personal favorite, I took other uncomfortable ideas for my Christmas card!

10 Extremely Awkward Holiday Photos

[HuffPost Weird]

 

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Do strangers think you’re creepy? Find out now.

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This is the Internet. It knows everything about you.

Say you like perfectly harmless shows like Breaking Bad and 30 Rock — one look at the “based on your search” section of Netflix and you will find every drug movie ever made along with gems like Ally McBeal.

Our point? You could look like a total freak to someone who doesn’t know you. Click the linky below to gauge your creepster status.

4 Ways To Tell If You’re Creepy (Using The Internet)

[Cracked]

 

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Dumb Disclaimer

The opinions expressed in this blog are the personal opinions of our bloggers and in no way reflect the opinions of truTV, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., Time Warner, Inc. and/or any of their respective employees, officers, subsidiaries or affiliates.

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We may provide links to outside blogs or websites from this site, truTV is not affiliated with these websites and makes no representations, endorsements or warranties with regard to the content found on those sites.

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